Not Funny

Written about 3 weeks ago


There are a number of old sayings that promote the concept of laughter as healing. By and large this has been well served in my lifetime. While some people may not appreciate my sense of humor, they cannot deny that I have one. If you just scan back over all these posts you will find humor sprinkled through most of the blogs. There is some conjecture that my sense of humor may be a little off the main path, but laughter is laughter and I enjoy the play of humor in my life and those around me.

It is not the ability to tell a joke, or laugh with others when they relate a funny story. What has been taken from me in this extended crisis is the ability to look at life from a certain perspective. What has changed is my particular bent on the events around me. I find people funny, I find circumstances (even traumatic circumstances) funny, the oddities of life are funny to me. But somewhere in the past year my take on the world has become more cynical. Even in the midst of realizing this, there seems to be little to help me revert to my normal self. This change has been more like a rheostat being dimmed slightly, or slightly more over time. There wasn't the sense that someone just turned off the light of humor, it is that the rheostat was lowered slowly, almost imperceptibly. Then I wake up one day ad realize my take on the world is just not as much fun as it used to be.

And just as slowly the light is beginning to brighten. Over the last several weeks it has become easier to find the humor even in the most stressful of events. Why? Because I am working again, all day effort to make some small companies into more significant companies. There is still the worry over money and future, but the occupation of my mind with plans and strategies have brightened my take on the world around me.

For those who have put up with this dour attitude over the past year, I apologize. To my bride I simply want to say that you have been beyond helpful. There is simply no way I survive the past trauma without you. It always amazes me that you exhibit the strength you possess. Times are getting better, you deserve the payoff. We have had a few laughs in the past year, but they have come at too high a price.

I am taking back my life, one way or the other. That way my particular slant on all that surrounds us will return. For those who are going through this, or married to someone who is going through this, give them a little slack, everything is harder to maintain. Give them the freedom to vent just a little, to let it all out. It helps.

Godspeed to those who are looking down the barrel of this particular malady. Take back who you are...it is not theirs to own.
Don