This post has been brewing for a while. Not because I didn't have opinions, or because I was afraid of the backlash, or even because I am lazy (well, I'm a little lazy). This post was delayed for a vary simple reason. I am a white, mature (read older) adult male. And apparently it is my voice that has not been strident enough or loud enough or condescending enough to make the change in our culture that everyone is crying for. Several Facebook posts have claimed that only my voice can change the situation. Sort of a "you caused this mess, now you clean it up." So the voice you hear may be a bit confused, a bit hesitant, but it will also be honest.
White privilege keeps getting applied to my life in ways that are both apparent and covert. I understand the application and I understand the ways that simply being white and middle-class clears so many hurdles for me. Until recently prejudice was something that I observed, but never felt. But two things have happened that have stirred a bit of awareness in my world.
First of all I have gotten to the age in life and stage in career where my age is a primary factor in job opportunities. Several times over the past couple of years job opportunities came to me and I was not even considered. "You are too valuable where you are..", "we are looking for someone outside this industry.." Legally they can't say, "you are too old and we want someone younger". It took some time to figure out that they didn't look at my years of experience, dedication to the job, expertise, skill, previous victories. But instead looked at my birth date and disqualified me. There are only two areas where white men feel the frustration of prejudice; age and obesity. Outside of that we never have a moment of fear or frustration or humiliation.
Second event was the adoption of our youngest granddaughter who is a mixed race child. She has captured us completely with her spirit, her busyness, her hugs, and all the other little joys she brings to us. And as every grandparent will tell you the concern is not once removed. I spend a huge part of my spiritual disciplines on behalf of my eight grand children. But little Miss Ruby, our little brown girl, brings a different focus to my prayers and thoughts and contemplation. My heart aches and my hands curl into fists to think she will be mistreated or abused because she is brown. It is no longer a fight against the prejudice in the world, but now a personal fight against anyone who would harm this bright, little girl who adopted us.
So what does this mean? My bride and I were discussing all the ways this current state of affairs has changed our American world. My point was that no one can speak without being condemned by someone else. If I quit my job and become a full time advocate for minority rights, I will be skewered because I came down from my mountain and deigned to share my privilege. And these attitudes towards me will come from all parties, from all sides. On the other hand, if I stay silent I am the problem (silence is affirmation, etc).
My bride (who is far more insightful than I am) took her poke at the world in this way. She ordered some female apparel and the color designation was "skin tone", read white skin tone. When asked by the manufacturer if she would recommend this product she told them, "I don't think I can until you change the color designation to beige or tan or something like that. This is not skin tone, there are multitudes of skin tones." The message was so subtle in the marketing of the product that I missed it entirely. My bride did not. The subtle message was that "skin tone" is white and the other skin tones don't count. And she knows if it affects sales, they will change it.
I'm not sure but what the changes that need to be made won't be the small subtle changes in everyday life. We can all rage and rally when the obvious injustice is done, but the event won't help the victim. We must find ways to make the changes so the victims have a voice after the event. Then find a way to stop the events of racial prejudice. The only way to do this is to treat everyone with the same compassion, fairness, and integrity as we do our sweet Ruby and the other 7.
Godspeed to those who have felt this more strongly and more intimately than I have for much longer than I have. I'm sorry my voice has been so long silent, but it will be no more.
Don
