Monday, June 29, 2009

I Do..Again..I Guess

There is a phenomenon happening right now with a lot of couples our age. We are in the "half" that didn't divorce in the previous 30-35 years. The bringing into this world a group of kids didn't get us. The teen wars were survived. College has been accomplished. In-law kids have been added. And for a lucky few grand kids have enriched the ride. Career losses and changes have been survived. We have hit what I call the 30-50 stage in life. 30 years married, about 50 years old. Most of us who have made it this far have been married longer than we were single (although, I'm not sure you can count the first few years, we were being house-broken, learning the language, we were not much of a catch in those years)

So this new trend is to "renew" your marriage vows. We went to one this past weekend. The event was in a barn, it was hot as blazes, and according to the people who attended the original wedding, it was close to the same temperature. Everyone stood around and tried to stay hydrated until they decided to "renew" their vows. It was a restatement of the original vows, though shorter, no sermon, no music, no bridesmaids, no groomsmen, just the original preacher, the bride and groom, and their only daughter, and her husband. It was sort of sweet, but it hard to appreciate the tenderness of the moment when sweat is running down your back and legs.

I floated the idea of my bride and I doing the same, when she (to my great relief) told me the original vows were fine. They were, after all, vows. One and done, no need to restate them. Now, if I wanted to renegotiate our vows she would be willing to go down that path. It is my opinion that I got the much better deal the first time around, I have no interest in renegotiating.

The best thing about the "renewing" of the vows was the soundtrack. Beatles, Creedence, 3 dog night, man we had good music in those days. My hair grew out a little just listening to it.

We decided we were just going to put the arm on the kids to throw us a party. The vows are fine. We have decided to let well enough alone.

Godspeed to all you 30-50 folks. Far out.
Don

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Jesus Loves Me This I Know..

This is going to be a "venting" blog. So if you are a sensitive church leader, you may want to stop reading and go to more uplifting sites. But this needs to be said.
We came close to missing our annual Mexico Mission Trip. Apparently it was pretty dicey up until just a few weeks before we left. The elders at the little church we traveled and worked with agonized over the practicality of sending about 40 members, teenagers and adults, into a "dangerous" situation. I had faced this before at another church, and watched as the youth minister fielded parent's questions about the safety and security of going to Mexico. I distinctly remember talking to a dad about letting his two teenagers go, he was wanting to cancel, I was telling him that me and my bride were going.
"Would you let your kids go, if they were here?"
"Absolutely, we would all go."
"What if they were to get hurt or killed? Can you live with that?"
"It would devastate me, but, yes I could live with them being hurt or killed doing Kingdom work. Mission has never been about safety, but about sacrifice."
He walked away, from both the conversation and the moment to teach his kids that sometimes sacrifice doesn't fall into our concept of security.

It is my feeling that this unhealthy obsession with security is at the heart of what is wrong with American Christianity today. You can see it in the preaching from the past 50 years. We spend more time preaching about salvation than about sacrifice. Here's a little hint from scripture, mustard-seed-size faith buys the entire salvation package. But we focus on it because it is part of our portfolio. We worry more about the house, cars, furniture, job, savings, investments than we do about kingdom work.
This little church in eastern Oklahoma put up their building on a second note for the church in Monterrey Mexico to buy the land. Would your church, or mine do that? I don't think so. Could they have lost the entire thing? Yes. Were they willing to take that risk? Apparently. I love that attitude about the little church. They squelched the "security" inclinations to do what was...right. Do you think their kids learned something about faith-living? Do you think there is a different view of what God can accomplish through them, and ultimately for them?

Have you ever put the entire bundle on the table? Bet the entire thing? Have you risked your career, home, marriage, respect for kingdom work?
Would you like to feel like the "salvation" issue is a minor issue instead of a major concern. Then roll the dice, take a step out. THEN your faith means a little something.

More than half the groups from years past cancelled their trips to Mexico because it was too dangerous. Elders couldn't bear the thought of putting their members at risk. And they sent a clanging message into the world that they don't believe that God's promises are true. Either covertly, or overtly they taught their congregation to bury the talent, they provided the shovel, and instructed them in how deep to dig. Every Elder who made that decision should go before the congregation and confess their faithlessness. Better yet, resign and let the visionaries, the faith-walkers, the Spirit-led decide who goes into the battle and who doesn't.

It was close with the little church in Oklahoma, but the leader of the mission trip said, "Well, Kinney and I would be going if it was just the two of us." I wanted to tell him that he would have to stop in Dallas and pick up Bev and I anyway, we were going, regardless.

Yes, indeed, Jesus Loves me, this I know..becuase he provided mission and purpose for this life, and sancuary for us in the next.

This journey is not for the timid, but for the bold. God expends fully those he loves the most. Find a book that tells the traditional ending for the apostles, most died a martyr's death..not very secure, but very faithful.

Godspeed
Don

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Home At Last..

Well we braved the drug cartels, the swine flu, Mexican food, hot weather, cold rivers, and all the other "dangers" on this trip.
Going on mission trip is always a revelation for me. We cross into a country that smells different, they speak a different language, they look a little different (you can always pick out an American) even the "Mexican food" is different. It always gives me that little anxiety, knotted stomach sort of feel when crossing the border, filling out the visas and watching the bags scanned under the watchful eye of the armed border guard. But the feeling is also one of anticipation, this is not the usual day at the office, this is for a higher purpose. Should something go wrong it would be a noble effort. I can't think of anything more embarrassing than ending my life on vacation..like the joke about rednecks; What are the last words of most redneck men? "Hold my beer and watch this"

Several stories and observations came out of this trip. We worshiped with a little church in Nuevo Laredo, with a preacher named "Paco" Good preacher, but couldn't understand a word, anyway his presentation was good. During communion I noticed something for the first time. The little church had a large aisle down the center, with smaller aisles on the outside. There was room for only 6 or 7 on each row, and just as in America, no one wanted to sit in the middle of a row. The edges filled quickly. The church members sat towards the front, with our group of 45 dwarfing the home crowd. My bride and I sat on row with a young Mexican family with two small kids. When Communion was passed the Mexicans on the inside aisle would pass the tray to the ones on the outside of the row BEFORE they took communion, then took communion when it was passed back by. I'm sure the Mexican members would even be puzzled that I noticed this, but to me this shouted the fact that there was an humble, selfless spirit among these people. A small thing that spoke volumes about their hearts. I believe there is something divine in the simple, selfless lives of these people.

The second anecdote happened on the bus Monday morning heading to the work site. Rick Owen who coordinates all this effort for the past 20 years, recruits young men and women from the local congregations to act as "guides" for the work crews, from hotel to work site. These are not poor, sombrero-wearing peasants, but are young well-educated men and women. Our guide Monday was a young man who taught physics and math in a bilingual Mexican high school. He taught in English.
We asked him how bad the "swine flu" had been in this area. Confusion on his end, puzzled looks,
"Swine flu? Is that flu you get from pigs?"
"No, it was a big deal in the U.S. and it came from Mexico."
"Do pigs have this flu?"
"No, that is just what it was called."
"I think maybe Mexico City had something, but not too bad."
This young,educated, bright young man had no idea what we were talking about.
thanks CNN for creating a panic that hampered the Kingdom work in Mexico. It struck me again that American Christians place more stock in American media, than in God's promise.

Finally, I'm not as young as I used to be. The weather was cooler, there were more workers, and I sustained a lot more bumps and bruises, sore muscles, and fatigue on less work. I think we may have to switch to medical mission trips, they sound easier.

So crossing the border back on Thursday, I was glad to be home, glad to be back in Texas, filled with ideas for ministry, ideas for blogs, frustrated by the lack of faith of the groups that cancelled. You will see it all in the next week or so..stay tuned.

Godspeed,
Don

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Mission

We head out today on a mission trip (that sounds so high school) with people we hardly know, to a country where we speak very little of the language, to work at tasks that we are not accustomed, where it is hot and dirty and apparently dangerous. I would like to say that we go because I discovered this wonderful adventure, that my sense of ministry and spirituality drove us to this. But really my bride went with the youth group 15 or so years ago and has missed only one since then. She told me for a couple of years, "you should go, you would enjoy it." So when it was evident a summer later that most of my kids were going, plus my bride, I was compelled to go. We dug septic holes for outhouses in a community that sustains itself by scavenging in the city's landfill. I was hooked.

So for the past 12 years or so, we have tied rebar, built cinder-block walls, poured concrete both as floors and as roofs, cleared brush, shoveled sand and gravel, formed brick lines, shared candy with the kids, ate the food at the work-site, and enjoyed and marveled at the wisdom of a man convicted of this work 20+ years ago.
The past few years when I tell people I'm going, they usually say, "Be careful, you know how dangerous it is down there?" The look they have on their face is one of surprise and pity, and a little wonderment that I'm not reading the papers, or listening to the news. I've seen parents pull kids out of the group, sponsors withdraw, elders consider canceling the trip. But here is my question, when did safety or security trump mission? I think this may be one of the real concerns of the modern day church, the idolatry known as "security." When did we become such cowards? Where does this come from?

Some of it is natural concern for those we love. The man mentioned above says, "If anyone gets hurt this is not a successful project." Keeping the teens safe is important. But the lesson of putting the risk out there, of taking the chance is the far more important lesson. I am reminded of the story of young men asked to bow before the king, I love their answer, "the God that we serve is able to deliver us..but if he chooses not to, we will still not bow down to you." Right actions regardless of the consequences. Mission over security.

So we pack our BDUs, t-shirts, shoes that we know are on their last mission, the Word, and a heart that is willing to risk, willing to risk the future moments for the righteousness of the mission. I can't wait.

Taken from the wisdom of a group of men who learned at a younger age the true meaning of service...The God that we worship can spare us, but if he chooses not to, we are still going.
I hope the lesson was learned by Jordan and Brad and Eli and Phoebe, by Ben and Sarah, and by Shane and Carrie little, unknown Lincoln. If so, then the teachers are happy.

Godspeed,
Don

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Language Barriers

What a great weekend this turned out to be. We had all the kids around for a Star Wars themed birthday party for a 6-year-old and a 29-year-old. I'm not sure who can quote more lines from the movies. However, I think the 6-year-old has the Star Wars theme song running through his head as a sound track at all times. Anything that looks like a light-saber becomes one..broom handle, golf club, cooking spoon.
The party is a different blog however.

Sometime in the past couple of months my 2-year-old granddaughter has learned to talk..a lot. And she is very persuasive. If she wants something, instead of pointing, she now verbalizes her version of the object. Short words are easy to understand; shooes..joose...mine, funny how mine sounds the same from a 2-year-olds as a 55-year-old.
So how does she do this? Think about the fact that a 2-year-old is learning a fairly complicated language. She is putting sentences together and completing thoughts, sharing joy and frustration. She is developing her own take on the language starting from nowhere. She has no language to translate, no interpretation, simply the assimilation of ideas and objects into her own mental process.
I have always wanted to learn Spanish, I've got a few words and phrases down, but nothing like her. So what is the difference?
Well, obviously the immersion into the culture has a lot to do with it. She is surrounded everyday with the language, and judging from her brother, her mother, and her father she is surrounded with A LOT of the language. So she will have to learn it, just to keep up. But I don't think this is the real reason.
The real reason is that she is uninhibited in using the language. Her mother delights, not only in the proper use, but hugs her and laughs with her over her misuse. Phoebe simply beams when you visit with her. So she has no downside to using the language. She is supported either way.
Of course the other thing that helps is that she is not exactly a poker-face. You can read what's going on in her head and she doesn't mind sharing her take on any given situation. It is hilarious to watch those little eyebrows knit together as she attempts to communicate her displeasure. No hidden agendas, you get what is going on there.

We have found that our in-law kids have changed our language, just as our kids did when they were little, now all I have to do is learn it as well.

But it is all...esta bien.

Godspeed
Don

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Before and After

29 years ago today my bride delivered to us a 9lb., blond-headed boy. We lived in Dallas at the time, the summer of 1980 still holds the record for the number 100+ days in a row. Westinghouse Credit had promoted and moved me to credit analyst (all my in-law children are now choking back laughter or rolling their eyes) in Dallas. This was a move that gave me whopping $500 a year raise. I was mowing lawns in the evenings and on weekends to make extra money, needless to say I was a little trimmer and tanned in those days.

So along comes this little bundle of low-toned baby boy. Daddy's heads in these moments are filled with visions of hunting and camping and little league. Somewhere down the road is the prospect of teaching him to drive, to "pal" around together, he would "get" the dad thing. Pride would come in the touchdown catch, watching the ball hit hands, tipped to shoulder pad, snagged at last for the score, the stands erupting in cheers, a moment of calm in your heart competing for the immense pride, blurred by the tears of the moment.
And now those moments are gone..held close, but memories in the past, not moments to be anticipated.

So what did I teach this baby boy?
I look into my own heart and see all the moments missed, words spoken in anger instead of encouragement, work over play, regret covering satisfaction. This is the burden parents carry. But, as they say, the proof is in the pudding. Now before me is a man of integrity, a man "without guile"; a man who loves his wife over all others. I don't fully understand his world, graphic design, an artist ( I can't draw a cat that looks like a cat) a gamer, quiet, introspective, but intuitive. A man that reminds me more of my father than of myself.

Somewhere in his time with us he learned the value of honesty, justice, compassion, and sacrifice. There is no doubt that his mother instilled deep in his being the traits that are so needed in this world. But I hope that somewhere in our time together he learned from me the value of treating people right, of facing bullies in this world, of savoring the moment - whatever that moment is, to live life unique to yourself, of finding his divine place in this world.
So, here is a moment dedicated to you, Ben, you are the one of the two best men I know.. you and dad, before me and following me.
Godspeed, may God grant all your dreams to be fulfilled.
I love you.
Dad