So this week I flew to Baltimore. The rep and I called on a couple of accounts, spent 3 nights on the road in three different hotels (by the way, found a new favorite..A-Loft, problem is they are pretty rare) Then flew home on Thursday looking forward to some time at home with my bride.
Landed in Dallas and texted my bride who informed me she was in a training session preparing for the upcoming school year. Ok, so I have some time to get some work done. But wait, she is not coming home because she is spending the night with her cousin and then a trip to see an aging aunt and uncle in Dublin, TX.
Well this is new, me at home and her on the road. So what to do?
I decided to cook dinner, not go out. One of the primary dislikes I have in my job is eating out alone. My daughters and my bride have all asked why I don't order room service. Several reasons: 1. most of the hotels I stay in don't have room service. They all have "take-out" menus from local pizza places, or Chinese food, but nothing cooked on site. 2. The only thing I hate more than eating out alone is eating in alone. I find it depressing. I like good conversation at dinner, not mediocre TV. 3. It stinks up the room.
And while I don't like eating out alone, it is the lesser of two evils.
Tilapia pan seared, fruit salad (my bride always has fruit around) and a guacamole that may have been the best I have fixed in years. It was quiet and yes, the TV was on, but it was in my own house with my stuff and the stuff of my bride. It was not sad or lonely. 90% of the stuff in our house is my bride's stuff, but as I sat there and ate I could look around the room and be reminded that even though she was not there, she was around, her stuff reminded me that I was not alone.
But all this made me think those thought strings that seem to be my way of adjusting. So this is how it is for her when I am not home? Does she find the same comfort when she goes in the closet and my clothes are hanging there with hers? Does she glance at my bookshelves and see some of what has made me think the way I do?
Then it occurred to me that perhaps if we could spend a moment in the context of those around us, we might be a bit more forgiving. It made me examine the core of my perception as it relates to those I have a problem with. Some of their actions may have no more than a defensive effort.
But then the expansion of the thought to nation/state status. How would we feel if a foreign sovereignty invaded our shores because of the way we treat immigrants, or minorities, or gays, or children? What if they felt completely justified in dismantling our government in the name of socialism or whatever? All of a sudden it occurs to me that when we look at our actions in recent history I have little wonder that most of the world simply does not care for us very much. Our sense of entitlement wreaks havoc on our public image.
And this analysis can go on and on. Mission trips all of a sudden come under scrutiny. Would I appreciate someone from another place coming in and "helping" me with my home or my children or my church? What if I like my circumstances? Are you coming here for me or for you? How do we share resources without undermining the foundational human dignity that we are all born with? Can I extend a helping hand or receive a helping hand with no qualifications? with no stipulations? I tithe every paycheck. I do not give to organized religion, be it church or institutions. I give to people. Most of my tithes do me no good at tax time. But they are given with a certain amount of prayer and Spirit input. There are no stipulations on it. One young man I gave the money to gave it away to others. He called to apologize in case I felt it was frivolous on his part. I told him when I give it I turn it loose. It is not up to me to follow up. I see it as a way to pour a cup of water into the ocean of benevolence, it adds to it, but gets assimilated with all the other good in the world. Be it my version of good or not. It is my way of getting out of my way.
So I try to see the world from others eyes. Immigrants struggle with certain challenges, minorities understand a certain handicap in the world, gays understand the isolation and loss of civil advantages, my bride understands the aloneness due to the nature of my job. It is when I see those things that I can be a bit more understanding. I can come a little closer to getting it.
Godspeed to us all. My bride has said often that she and I do not have the same marriage. I would agree. I got a small glimpse of hers last night. It was good for me to see. I love the words to the hymn, "open the eyes of my heart, Lord" Illumination is always a good thing.
Don
