Saturday, November 30, 2013

The Future is Open

On our mantle is a picture of my clan, taken last April or so. The setting is a beautiful park in Waxahachie Texas, not far from Red Oak where my bride and I raised these kids. There are 14 of us currently, from 18 month olds to..well 60ish. Settled into the middle of this picture is my bride of 38 years and yours truly. As usual my bride is stunning and radiant, while I look like I am trying to figure out a calculus formula with sixth grade math. While the journey for us has been bumpy, as it is for everyone, it has been a journey well worth traveling. The exciting thing is that there is more to come. From here, I can't see the journey's end.

I think it is easy to look at the crowd around you and pick out the faults and odd behavior. There are times when all of us drive the other to "their last nerve." In my clan, if you are not a little thick-skinned and fairly good at expressing yourself (what my sweet, introverted daughter-in-law has classified as competitive visiting) you will be drawn/quartered/ and eaten. As far as I know we have eliminated all the conflict avoiders.

Brad is a focused executive with a tender spot for his young family, he is learning that the real formulation years with his son are just now beginning. But he holds firm to his faith and family. Jordan has had to endure a lot in her young life. I wish I could have shielded her in some way, but prayers and tears can only provide shelter, not protection. Because she has had so little control over some circumstances she works hard to control all others. It is a funny saying in our clan, "Ask Jordan"  But she quilts and sews and bakes for others well beyond what most of the rest of us would do.

Ben is our artist, always has been. He is sincere and completely incapable of deception. In this way he is most like my dad, it has always been my deepest disappointment that I could not completely master this simple virtue. His sweet wife has brought so much humor and joy and understated compassion. She has added terminology that has become part of our language. She was our missing link between my two girls. I'm glad we picked her (an inside joke)

Shane is our youngest add on. He may be the most industrious young man I have ever met. He makes me tired just watching him. He has projects and ideas and plans and works on them all the time. Yet, he is always free to wrestle with Lincoln or Lola, free to help my daughter. The only real issue is the love of cinnamon rolls with chili, it is just an odd mix, but we all adapt. Carrie, my youngest is our family coordinator. She sets up and insists that we all get together. Time and distance and inconvenience are not going to be tolerated as excuses. She is the only one allowed to call me " Old Man"

But here is what I know about my clan. They represent every virtue that I hold dear. All if my children (and for purposes of this blog and my life that includes my in-law kids) are mature, resourceful, industrious, compassionate, kind, faithful, and honest. As I look around my little crowd going all the way down to the little ones, it occurs to me that all I hold dear are woven through this clan. Here is the rundown: Eli is strong-willed, but gentle with his younger cousins and a hero to Lincoln and Isaac. Phoebe is our songstress and full of life and drama. Lincoln is our little comedian and worker, Isaac is sweet and gentle and funny, Lola loves us all, Abby will be a force and even at her little age makes me laugh with her unexpected humor. Each carries with them the traits that I adore; love, humor, kindness, willing to help, generous, and fun. These acorns have not dropped far from their parent trees, nor from the grove started all those years ago.

So I look at my mantle and realize that the future depicted in movies as bleak and sinister will not be the future if my clan has any impact at all. It is open and it is bright. It is my hope that from my perch in the great uncounting I will be able to witness and cheer and ultimately bring them home so we can all enjoy the fruits of this life well lived.

Godspeed to you all who have been blessed with a clan such as this. I am hoping it is far more common than we realize.
Don