Friday, November 26, 2010

Thanksgiving

This was a year of changing plans and venues. What was originally set to be an event at our house was changed to Amarillo at my eldest daughter's house. After I had reconciled myself to not having all at our house this year, I got my head right to make the trip.

Now my eldest daughter and her family live a truly great house. Lots of room, spaces to escape to (if need be) lots of room outdoors if you can handle the wind and the cold, just a comfortable place to settle.

So Tuesday, my bride and I and our youngest with her boy Lincoln set out from Dallas to Amarillo. It was beautiful day to drive and visit. We put on The Incredibles for Lincoln to watch and we listened, and we visited. With a minimum of stops, we were in Amarillo a quick 7 hours later. Shane, the s-i-l flew in early Thursday AM, and we had the full compliment of kids/grandkids to make the holiday complete.
Wednesday was food shopping, food prep, and food planning day. I washed every dish in the kitchen three times, with a few of them (cutting boards in particular) more times than I can count.

My bride's extended family came mid-afternoon, which raised the number from 12 to 23 (I think) Apparently we made more food than we needed, we could have fed 50 or more. AS the afternoon wore on it made me thankful for a few things in particular.

First of all, I love it that my kids and their spouses get along so well. They love to joke and visit, poke fun at me and each other. I understand that this may be due to the fact that there hasn't been enough time to build grievances or grudges. It may be that we can all hold it together for a couple of days that might be greater challenge if it were longer. But whatever the reason, they joke and laugh, counsel and encourage, but mostly they raise my spirits and make we wonder how this blessing has been visited on me. It is a joy that I do not take lightly.

Secondly, it is grandparent nirvana. There are only a couple of times a year that we get all four grandkids together. Each one is so special in their own way. Eli is growing up so fast, he has become all legs and arms and missing teeth. He is slipping into the role of oldest cousin very easily. I hope he never loses that desire to play with each of the younger cousins at their level. Miss Phoebe is all charm. She dances and sings, and shines that gamin grin on me and melts my heart. She is a 1000 watt bulb in my world. Mr. Lincoln is the most sociable little guy I have ever met. He loves to play and eat and visit. This holiday he is taking his first steps and holding the spoon. Soon he will be too quick to keep up with. Isaac is just emerging. Almost 6 months and he is looking around, laughing at whatever tickles his fancy, and apparently thriving on his all "momma-milk" diet. He has a very consternated look, but it might be the noise and the flying feet, elbows, toys, couch cushions that had landed near or on him. He is one cuddly baby.
In all of this I have apparently forgotten how to say "no" It is much easier to get a parent and let them be the heavy, I prefer to play the good cop. Although, now that I think about it, I really don't enforce any rules, so I'm not really a cop, more of the friendly crossing guard.

Finally, I am most grateful for the partner in life that has helped and guided and supported me through all the struggles of adulthood. My bride is healthy and kind and persevering, she does not complain, she is not a whiner. She keeps me focused and balanced. I can't believe we have spent 35+ years doing this. It has flown by in the best of ways.

So a good Thanksgiving all around. Later I will post on getting "set up" on Facebook. My girls had great fun at my expense, so it will be a post worth reading.

Godspeed as we stop and ponder for a moment the truly remarkable blessing visited on us all.
Don

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

When At the End

Sunday I watched as a man "resigned" from his place as a spiritual leader of the community that he had been a part of for a number of years. There was no moral breakdown, there was no pressure for him to step down, there was nothing untoward in anything in this other than he and his wife are moving to Houston due to job change. For them it was an end of an era in their lives; unexpected, unwanted, but necessary. As he emotionally read his message to the community, my thoughts ran to some of the events in my life that reflected change that was happening beyond my control and beyond my understanding. Sometimes life is like that.

My thoughts ran towards the events that have occurred in my life that ended relationships, ended ministry, ended jobs and short-circuited career, ended innocence and certainly ended naivete. They say that the first casualty of war is innocence, I believe that to be true of adulthood as well.

But along the way I found some words that have helped me move past the loss of motivation, the loss of innocence. They are words by a lady named Helen Steiner Rice. I want to share them with you.

A Bend in the Road
By Helen Steiner Rice


When we feel we have nothing left to give
And we are sure that the “song has ended”–
When our day seems over and the shadows fall
And the darkness of night has descended.
Where can we go to find the strength
To valiantly keep on trying,
Where can we find the hand that will dry
The tears that the heart is crying–
There’s but one place to go and that is to God
And, dropping all pretense and pride,
We can pour out our problems without restraint
And gain strength with Him at our side–
And together we stand at life’s crossroads
And view what we think is the end,
But God has a much bigger vision
And He tells us it’s only a bend–
For the road goes on and is smoother,
And the “pause in the song” is a “rest”,
And the part that’s unsung and unfinished
Is the sweetest and richest and best–
So rest and relax and grow stronger,
Let go and let God share your load,
Your work is not finished or ended,
You’ve just come to “a bend in the road”.
~

Every line in the poem speaks to me. I find myself at a great many crossroads these days and wonder what the rest of the journey looks like. Is it short or long? Will it be as fulfilling as the start of the journey? Will I see a dead end or a bend?
My mental image is one of God lightly resting his hand on my shoulder and whispering to me that the journey still has to be traveled..but never alone. Never, ever alone.

Godspeed, my prayer is that your journey is "smoother" and the "pause in the song" is not too long.
Don

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

The Moment

I have spent the last two days trying to decide how to communicate this entry. On the one hand, I don't want to throw anyone under the bus, but on the other hand this moment I want to share hits a critical understanding of our current state of affairs in Christian worldview movement.

Here is what I am talking about. The "preacher/senior minister/pulpit guy" has for years suffered from a hip deterioration due to a motorcycle accident from his misspent youth (he is open about his rascally ways as a young man, so I am not gossipping) Well, the hip has been replaced several times, he spends months on crutches, he has always walked with a noticeable limp, it is what the doctors refer to as "chronic." As in, they can't fix him to the point where he walks normally or lives day-to-day without pain. Over the past several months this condition has deteriorated to the point where he can't get out of bed without dislocating the hip, which has happened numerous times in the past few weeks.

All that said to focus on the response of the congregation. They have applied additional prayer and fasting to his situation in the hope that he will be healed and restored to the pulpit. It hasn't happened. In fact, he has gotten worse (he is probably tempted to ask everyone to ease up on the prayer because it is killing him!) But he and I have spoken several times about the hand of God in all this, and his timing and his purposes. As frustrating as it may be, the preacher is dealing pretty well with the results of his faith.

This past Sunday a man got up to lead a prayer and in essence called God to account for not answering the prayers as we have offered them. Bold move, but I loved the honesty of his frustration and care for his friend. You see I have been there numerous times over the past 30 years or so. I watched my mother, who was a deeply committed believer, die of cancer. There have been uncountable moments praying for my eldest daughter who is a three-time cancer survivor. My only grandaughter has a congenital heart defect that must be surgically repaired early next year. My grandson from my youngest daughter was born with a birth defect that demanded major surgery followed by a month long stay in NICU. Watching my son and daughter-in-law lose hope and joy as they struggled for years to start their own family. So the kneeling position of heartbroken prayer is one that I am long accustomed to.

But the God that I serve has bigger plans than making my life easier. He makes it clear from the beginning that he will sacrifice anything to accomplish his purposes, from allowing my mother to suffer and die, to allowing my daughter to learn realities that most young women do not struggle with, to breaking my heart over my grandaughter and grandson, to realize that my son and his bride might face a future that they dreaded, and yes, to having his son murdered for the sake of his mission. Once we understand this single concept it changes our theology about this world, about our suffering, and about our place in it. This development of this particular theology takes years, years of thought and meditation, years of heartbreak, and years of pursuing the discernment that only God can provide.

So as I sat there and watched this man articulate his frustration, I was overwhelmed with the desire to make my way to his side and explain that our small view of how each situation may not fit into the overall plan. God's approach is not always a "cause and effect". That the only guarantee for us is that we will suffer, but will be given the opportunity to do so with dignity, with honor, and with others. The response was fully formed and would have been delivered with as much empathy as I had. Where are the "elders" of this group? Do they not feel the prompting that I do? I am no longer viewed as spiritual guide by this group, it is not my place. Is there not one of them that can lovingly articulate the teaching moment?


Now the moment is gone, never to be retrieved. We only get moments like these to teach every once in a great while. Why did I not jump to my feet when prompted to do so? Mostly my pride kept me from it, this group had rejected me and my ministry years before, so I withheld the wisdom that God placed in my life. I made a mistake. Where were the guys that ARE designated as the "shepherds/elders"?

This is what is wrong with the christian movement as we know it. The adherents are not well versed in the theology of God's mission. The leaders are more concerned about organization than maturation. Those of us who have tried and been rejected are not responding to the prompting of the Spirit because we have been wounded and refuse to place ourselves in that position again. We all dropped the ball.

I hate self awareness.

Godspeed, a little wrong turn on the journey. It happens.
Don

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

A Song on Our Hearts

This past Saturday our little group sang 9 songs at the Glenn Heights Familyfest. We were scheduled for 1:30, but were a little delayed by the group in front of us. Not a big deal except that the wind was really picking up and I discovered something about singing in 40 mph winds.

1. The good close harmony we worked so hard on is gone, blown away by the wind whistling in the microphones.
2. You can't hear the monitor, the other singers, or anything else, all you can see is the crowd looking pleasant, or bored, or confused.
3. There is a rush to performing that I can understand is addictive. And of course the little let down afterwards.
4. My idea of "flash church" will work. We are working out the details now. More later.
5. I am stunned that I remembered all the words and most of the musical "nuances" I have a habit of forgetting stuff about 96 seconds after I am told what to do. Most music directors find that a little frustrating.

So we sang and had a good time. Folks were both gracious and complementary. I got to do something I hadn't done in 40 years.

We had fun.

So Godspeed out there, I will keep you posted on our next venue.
Don