Hope, Sometimes Visitor

This was written almost 3 months ago

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life."

I ran across this quote in my disciplines and pondered it for quite some time. Each of the major words speak to me and this story that I find myself in. You see, I find myself in a spot where hope has been deferred, it has been set aside by evidence that shakes what I had envisioned as the remainder of my life. I had hoped that things would work out quickly. I had hoped that this disruption would produce different results. But I have learned that hope and faith are two different things. Faith can be fostered. It can be grown. I can manage faith. Hope has a life of its own. Hope is subject to critical evaluation of what is happening and following the thought string out to the end. When the results of that pursuit lead to diminished result, hope suffers. I am finding that hope wanders in and out of my day and my life at will. I struggle with the concept of "losing all hope" except in the very short term because hope will return, sometimes on a whim. It would make more sense to me to say that I don't know where hope is right now, it is not lost, it is just not visiting me at the moment.

Faith is the discipline of living a life that expects hope to return. It may not be today or tomorrow, but it will return. We live expecting the hope that is our promise to resurface. I often confuse the two. This past year has opened my eyes to possibility that while I cling to and nurture my faith through the disciplines, that hope is a serendipity that shows up and confirms the faith that I have jealously guarded. Do you realize that the rabbi (often confused as a carpenter) spoke and cajoled and reprimanded endlessly on faith and never once mentioned hope? He knew that if we focused on our faith that hope would follow when the faith is confirmed. Look it up, hope ain't there in the Stories.

When I go through a tough, extended time of stress, it is my faith that gets the most work. The questions of what and how and when are filtered through the prism of my faith that it will all work out in the end. Hope is a faulty golf swing, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

If you know someone struggling with this work/career/destiny thing, encourage them in their faith. I can only DO what I have been told is faithful, not particularly hopeful.

By the way, the quote above was from the guy we all say was "wise" Of course he had dozens of wives and concubines, so go figure.

Godspeed, keep the faith, bro.
Don