A New Reality

Over the past several weeks I have been writing blogs that have not been published. They center around the last year or more regarding my unemployment or dramatic under-employment. They are as honest as I know how to be. The blogs focus on the three things that I believe are the "collateral damage" of extended unemployment. You will notice a distinct omission of the struggles of no income. That part is assumed. What I have tried to convey are the losses that are evident but harder to articulate. My hope is that if you know someone who is in this crisis that these posts will make you a little more understanding. I also hope that if you are in this situation that you will find a kindred spirit in my writing. Sometimes this simple act of connecting helps the path get a little smoother, a little more level.

There are three issues that have grown more and more evident as time goes on. Three things that were taken for granted. Over the past year I have begun to doubt who I am and what I thought I could do. Doubt is a huge de-stabilizer in our psyche. There have not been many times that I spend much time doubting, I have always simply "moved ahead" and found the path usually led to a better place.
Secondly, I have lost a large portion of my humor. This loss, in particular, makes me bitter. Humor has been and always should be a defense against what the world tends to dump on us.
Finally, I have lost hope. This one floats in and out, causing great comfort on certain days and vast despair on others.

Some of these will be recognizable to all of us in some dose. We have been extraordinarily blessed with a very small and loving community of faith who have helped us through this time. One couple has been especially generous with their money, and always at just the right time. Another couple has been generous with smaller gifts, even when they had nothing to give, it came out of their own struggles. Another family changed their lifestyle to fit our needs, so that we could continue to do fun things, but at little or no expense. It is this small community that sustained us, kept us sane, and held us close. When they said, "We continue to pray for you." it meant a great deal because they backed it up with action. The most annoying people were those who assumed they had spiritual influence and would say, " we are praying for you." after a time all I heard was, "Be warmed and filled." Great, not much help there. Read James 2 again and tell me what help prayer with no action means.

So the next few posts may seem a bit dreary. Sorry. I had to muster up the courage to post them. It is tough to be revelatory and funny.

Tomorrow will see the first post.

Godspeed to those who are in this abyss. Hang on to your esteem, your humor, and your hope.
Don