Looking for Clues

Most of you who know me this has been an interesting year. Unemployment, dramatic underemployment, surgeries on my some of my precious grandkids, and of course the usual spiritual quest has made this a year of reflection, of frustration, and realization that there are people in my life who love me in spite of all my annoying ways.

It is one of the truly remarkable facets of the human creature that in the midst of adversity, as more things turn against us, that we look for the first hint of spring. We are blessed/cursed with the anticipation of the first warming breeze that tells us that the grass will grow, the flowers will bloom, and the first warming rays of God's love will fall on our upturned face.

This past week has been particularly stressful. This past week was filled with tough negotiations that will have dramatic impact on what happens to us over the next few months. The continued drought and heat were a perfect reflection of trying to make things work in the face of incredible pressure. Prayers have been tough and spiritual disciplines have been tested like few times in the past. It was as if life was saying, "I've knocked you down, just stay there. Stay down." But there is simply something in my nature that will not allow my "staying down." I'm sure there are those who would characterize my approach to life as dumb and durable, but it doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt and the desire to quit is not there. It just has to be ignored.

You spend some time each day looking for clues of improvement. Serendipitous occurrences that begin to point the needle north. People return calls. A bill comes in lower than expected rather than higher. Someone says something encouraging rather than critical. All of these could be the clue.

But this morning early I woke up to the strangest sound...rain. Rain on the roof and falling from the eaves and into the flowerbed outside the bedroom window. I have no idea how long it has been since rain came and actually formed puddles on the sidewalk. Cooling the ground and the air. Bed could not hold me even at 5AM on a Saturday morning. I had to see this. So I stood on the back porch and let the rain soak into my hair, breathing deep that special smell of fresh rain on a parched yard.

A clue for better things to come? I hope so. It lifted my spirits and my hopes.

Godspeed, the air is fresh and new. Hope springs eternal when you have eternal hope.
Don