What a roller-coaster day.
WE welcomed into this world our third grandchild. Lincoln Neill Nimz was born at 12:20PM, he was a modest 6lbs. and 14 ozs., 18 inches long and cute little pointy ears, and an esophagus not connected to his stomach. Joy and high-fives, followed by dread and concern and a weeping daughter. Hopes buoyed up as the doctors explained the possibilities and the remedies, and that old, familiar dread in the pit of the stomach and the heaviness in the chest that things rarely turn out as they should. It occurred to me that I and my bride have spent far too much time in hospitals trying to parse the words of doctors and learning a new vocabulary, words we would rather not know. Veterans now of what needs to be done. Knowing that my bride will not eat while the crisis is acute, and I will not sleep until we know the future.
And so we drop into the familiar battle speak, reading each other like old warriors, knowing when she is close to the edge and her understanding the same. A bond with her that will never be shared with anyone else. We are like the old Roman soldiers, testing the wind, clenching our hands around the swords of prayer and feeling close against our chests the shield of faith. And knowing that our back is held by the other.
Now we have a new little guy to pray over. We are suffering through the delay of not holding him close, feeling deeply the disappointment of our youngest not getting to hold her first one moments after birth. But this will all pass, we will see it through.
My question is how do we fall so deeply in love with someone whom we have just met? How is this possible? The tears of my daughter bring me to tears, but under it all I know she will persevere, she is made of stern stuff, as is her mother and her sister and her brother. But how can I have the same confidence in the new little guy. My bride reached into the little bed and seemed to be imparting the stuff he needs. The vision of my bride's hand covering his entire back in a soothing caress is etched forever in my mind. I could almost hear her cooing the sounds of encouragement, of love.
So the doctors are positive, the grandparents will dig in and do what it takes and, last but not least, God is faithful. He will deliver us and little Lincoln.
Godspeed on the journey, while often difficult, it is never boring. And, man, you should see that little guy, he is a doll.
Don
4 comments:
If the existing grandchildren are any indicator, Lincoln will have his share of toughness. It's in our jeans.
Thanks for being our vanguard, mom and dad.
Congratulations!!! Lincoln is a doll; I saw a picture of him on Jordan’s blog.
Praying for a speedy recovery & strength for everyone.
Take care,
Jen Swanson
Congratulation on this new blessing!! Lincoln is such a beautiful baby!! I was able to see his picture on Jordan's blog also. I know this must be very trying and scary. I pray that everything goes well, and I will pray for all of the adults as well. Thankfully, little people are so resilient! Peace along this road dear friend!
I remember all the conflicting sensations, both emotional and physical, that rushed over me after the birth of each of my children. Both were jaundiced -- easily treatable. Tyson had gone into fetal distress and after 15 hours of labor had to be taken by C-Section, but did really well almost immediately after "getting out." Neither as serious as what Carrie has had to deal with in the last 24 hours.
My heart aches for her as a new mom facing so much more than just healing from a C-Section, and with Shane as he tries to be strong for her and his new son. I also know that you and Beverly have already logged more medical anxiety hours than any parent can easily handle, and that while it's made you strong, it also is an all too familiar sinking feeling. I love you. I pray this time it's resolved quickly. I pray that Lincoln's little body can soon only have to deal with the normal stuff like what to do with his fingers when he discovers them. I hope that you all know how much you are loved by so many -- and by Him.
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