There is a current debate and more then a little angst swirling around the data showing that the religious institution called "church" is eroding. It is clear indication from the number of attendees to the number of located churches that are diminishing that the institution is in decline. We can argue the finer points of this statement, but all the indications, which are numerous, point to a slow and agonizing death.
Along with the analysis of the data is the following concerns. Whom to blame and what can we do seem to be garnering a lot of the conversation. And the list for blame is extensive from the current entrenched leadership to the ungrateful young people and all in between seems to grow by the day. We have developed terms to catalog the different sections of this erosion, "Dones" and "Nones" and "Fringe" and "unchurched" all are marked as contributors to this demise.
A much shorter list is the "what can we do" column. It is, in fact, blank.
We blame the current leaders and assign them the motives of power hungry old guys. Almost without exception we say, "Individually they are nice guys, but as a group, they are to blame." My instinct tells me that it is easy to blame a group of men, but when we put someone's face to it that we know and love and respect, then we need an out. Thus the above statement.
The Dones and Nones have just said, "Screw it, we're out" and have left the building. Even though they/we still stand in the parking lot and toss religious rocks at the windows. It is much easier to stand outside and feel religiously superior to having to quash our natural instincts for argument and trying to help.
Young people of every generation have been on the road to hell since Cain knocked Abel to the ground and tried to cover it up. Nothing new here. It's just that they are so smug in their indifference. Drives me crazy.
Each group has their own issues and their own preconceived ideas about how this works and they are all partially right and mostly wrong. We have also blamed the erosion of the moral fiber of our culture. The Dems and Repubs can't get along, Breeders and LGBT are at each other, the number crunchers and the word eaters, the left and the right, the white and the others, on and on and on. The slow, but accelerating descent has most of us gasping for breath. And the church has not kept up with all these events and factions.
So the church is declining because the few reasons above and blaming all above. But WHAT IF the simple reason for all of this is because we have missed an important element of God's mission. You see, we tend to believe the mission is a static. It is a level to be attained, or a position to be defended, or a bulls-eye in the middle of a target. But if the mission is constantly moving from here to there and onward, then the "spot" we fixate on will be behind the place where God is moving.
An analogy that occurred to me this morning was mobile phones (by using that term I realize I have just given an indication of my age). The first mobile phones were called mobile because we could move about with them. It was not easy because the battery pack was equivalent both in size and weight to a cinder block. You had to have a shoulder strap and be in relatively good shape just to carry them. And they only had one function, to make a call or send a call. That was it. And you had to remember the numbers (yes, kids, like in your head) to dial them up. Of course you never knew who the incoming call was until you answered. Scary by todays standards. I think what the church has done is put a death grip on the technology of the earliest mobile phones, believing that this is the spot in technology that God has ordained as the end of the mission. So church leaders clamp down on this spot in the technology, squinch their eyes shut , and brand anyone with newer technology as a heretic.
"But just look at this new IPhone 6, it can send and receive emails, it can play music, it can..."
"STOP, STOP, Leave me Alone, God wants us all to lug around this mobile phone!"
"Listen, if you will just try it.."
"You are from SATAN, this mobile is just the way God WANTS it! Get out! "
Dones and Nones: "Forget it, these guys are just trying to control us, they are power hungry and don't care about us"
Young people: " Is he ok? Weird."
The trajectory of technology forges onward, as does the mission of God. It is not his place to slow down and help find comfort in old doctrinal distinctives or even old theology. It is a mission and it will move forward at the pace that works for the mission. We must find ways to constantly shed ourselves of the old "technology" and embrace technology that matches the moment. Before my email blows up, yes I am familiar with the "same yesterday, today, tomorrow" view of God. But I do not believe this pertains to method or practice. It pertains to the Nature of God. He is and always will be love, compassion, truth, integrity, etc. But He has shown both in the old book and in ticking through the decades since a willingness to change His methods and means to accomplish His mission.
To the leaders: unclench a little, peek around a little and see if you can see the trajectory of the mission instead of the moment in time that provides the most comfort.
Nones and Dones: Give the leaders a break, instead of categorizing their current posture in the least favorable light, how about we understand their fear of letting go and their stomach churning responsibility towards the community of faith?
Young people: You are way ahead of us. New theology is second nature to you, it terrifying to us.
But lets drop the pretense about having ANY answers and lift our eyes to the blazing comet above us that is the mission of God and try to find our place in that trajectory. None of us will see the end, none of us saw the beginning, but we can ride along while we are here.
Godspeed to the Spirit walkers who help us see the blaze, and to the ones who have just enough faith to let go of the cinder block of old doctrine. It is a wild and crazy ride!
Don
Wednesday, June 3, 2015
Thursday, May 28, 2015
New Relational Assets
Over the past few years I have picked up "relational" assets I never had before. All my life I heard things like, "I'll have to call MY lawyer." Who keeps or needs a lawyer that they can identify and name? I don't have a lawyer. My eldest son-in-law is a lawyer, but that is way down on the list of identities he is to me. He is first and foremost the husband of my eldest daughter, and a very good one. More importantly he is the father of my first two grandkids, the ones who called me "granddaddy" before all others. And he is a spiritual man, a faithful man, and an industrious man. And somewhere down the line he is a lawyer, but he is not MY lawyer. (I've always had a little uncertainty about having him represent me in a legal battle. I'm sure there are things in the past 15 years or so that he was not happy with me about and as we all know payback is a b....well you know.)
But in the past few years I have picked up a few of these Assets. Did you know I now have a cardiologist? These are not cheap acquisitions. I see him more often than I do MY dentist. Hey there's another one, however, he is one of my dearest friends, so I'm not sure that counts. And day before yesterday I went to MY skin doctor. Ok, ok he is also distantly related and is far more to me and my family than the guy who bores holes in my scalp digging for who knows what. He claims he did not go very deep, but I suspect he was stunned at how thick the skull was. He is a plastic surgeon, but I keep him humble by having to deal with my body's ability to produce all sorts of weird looking skin bumps, lumps, and colorings. It does tickle me when he fusses at me for waiting to see him. He always asks the trick question, "How long have you had this?" Most of time I do not remember. I can identify when my bride pointed it out, but at my age and in my defense, the mirror is not my friend.
So what am I missing? Here is a short list of assets I need to work on.
Trainer - these people tend to be mean, see my blog post about "Boot Camp"
Therapist - Yes, I need one more person to ask me, "What is WRONG with you?"
Preacher- Another person telling me what IS WRONG with me!
Accountant - Hmm, not much to count.
Personal Physician - I actually have one that I never see. He seems preoccupied with my prostate.
Some of these I will never acquire. They are far more expensive than I have interest in paying.
But it also occurs me that there are a few professions we are a one time interaction, or just a part of our lives but not able to achieve the status as "MY" :
Funeral Home Director - you never hear anyone say that. This is a one and done.
Policeman - My policeman just sounds wrong.
Dry Cleaners Person - way too long a title.
So here I am at this stage of life, picking up all these relational assets with apparent ease. Who knew I would be so successful?
Godspeed to those out there who are just beginning to acquire the finer things in life, it is the true measure of success!
Don
But in the past few years I have picked up a few of these Assets. Did you know I now have a cardiologist? These are not cheap acquisitions. I see him more often than I do MY dentist. Hey there's another one, however, he is one of my dearest friends, so I'm not sure that counts. And day before yesterday I went to MY skin doctor. Ok, ok he is also distantly related and is far more to me and my family than the guy who bores holes in my scalp digging for who knows what. He claims he did not go very deep, but I suspect he was stunned at how thick the skull was. He is a plastic surgeon, but I keep him humble by having to deal with my body's ability to produce all sorts of weird looking skin bumps, lumps, and colorings. It does tickle me when he fusses at me for waiting to see him. He always asks the trick question, "How long have you had this?" Most of time I do not remember. I can identify when my bride pointed it out, but at my age and in my defense, the mirror is not my friend.
So what am I missing? Here is a short list of assets I need to work on.
Trainer - these people tend to be mean, see my blog post about "Boot Camp"
Therapist - Yes, I need one more person to ask me, "What is WRONG with you?"
Preacher- Another person telling me what IS WRONG with me!
Accountant - Hmm, not much to count.
Personal Physician - I actually have one that I never see. He seems preoccupied with my prostate.
Some of these I will never acquire. They are far more expensive than I have interest in paying.
But it also occurs me that there are a few professions we are a one time interaction, or just a part of our lives but not able to achieve the status as "MY" :
Funeral Home Director - you never hear anyone say that. This is a one and done.
Policeman - My policeman just sounds wrong.
Dry Cleaners Person - way too long a title.
So here I am at this stage of life, picking up all these relational assets with apparent ease. Who knew I would be so successful?
Godspeed to those out there who are just beginning to acquire the finer things in life, it is the true measure of success!
Don
Friday, May 22, 2015
Times, They are A'Changin'
Over the past few years I have had the opportunity to work with and manage young people (under 40). During that time I had a chance to sit with them as we drove from one appointment to another and visit about work, life, dreams, worries..the entire gamut of the human experience. And these visits have been concerning and enlightening and encouraging. It eventually comes up that these young people are no better at judging age than I am. Generally they all think I am younger than their parents, when in reality, usually I am older and sometimes by a good bit. It would do my ego much more good if I thought it was my youngish looks or my "hip" demeanor, but I think they just don't have a clue. So the immense pride is tempered. Of course I could start complaining about all the aches and pains. That would set them straight, but then they would compare me to their grandparents and that would not do my ego any good.
There are a couple of things I have learned about this group. Some of it is encouraging, some of it has me shaking my head, and some of it makes me a little jealous that my life does not contain some of their philosophy and approach.
One of the primary differences between them and me is the simple view of all things "organizational". My approach has always been to rely on the organization as the sole benefactor for my career, my marriage, my life. The generation I belong to relies heavily on the organization to care for and feed us, to give us purpose, to create a safe and nurturing harbor. In this I have been both generously rewarded and deeply wounded. It has only been in the past couple of years (by "couple" I mean 10-15) that I have seen and understood the tragic misperception this is. This younger crowd has a deep suspicion of all things "organizational". Their attitude is that they put up with the organization because it supplies a few of their basic needs. In their world if they could walk away from it, all we would see are heels and elbows. And this applies to politics, religion, business, marriage, nationalism..the list goes on and on.
And this is being played out at all levels of society. Corporations are having to completely overhaul their work structure to make sure they can retain some of these younger workers. I have lived right through the transition from the 9-5 workforce to the flex hours, the shared workload, the cross-training. A majority of this shift is positive. But the loss falls in the categories of employee loyalty, dedication etc. But the truth is that the corporations made the first move by shifting from corporate healthy workplace to corporate shareholder health. This younger generation understood long before my generation that this reality existed.
The most visually dramatic is the outflow of religious organizations. Ten years ago, if you were on the inside of the organization, you could hear the growing sucking sound of the younger generation leaving. It was like watching the tide run out, the water just never returned to same spot on the beach. It shifted further and further out. Unlike the phasic tide, this was a one-way shift. I've got news for the religious leaders, get a day job. They ain't coming back.
Marriage may be the most jarring organization that has been deemed unnecessary. I take great pride in the tenure of my marriage (almost 40 years) and to the credit of my bride the quality of our life together. And the young crowd will slow clap this accomplishment, while shaking their heads in puzzlement. And they are staying away from this organization in droves. The number of sales people I manage who are living with their significant other far outnumbers the ones that have gotten married. And while I might be tempted to point out to them the error of their ways it occurs to me that they have a far different understanding of this than I do. I think it is this one element of the "gay marriage" debate that the youngsters just don't get. They are a little puzzled why we (breeders) would heap such condemnation on those wanting to get married within their gender, when they are completely willing to ignore the concept altogether. Which makes me wonder why the religious leaders aren't dog-piling on them instead of the "gay marriage" crowd. At least the "gay marriage" crowd agrees with us that marriage is important! Maybe we need to realign our angst with anybody who agrees with us on marriage. We have been fussing at the wrong group all along! Nothing new here.
But the other important shift is the willingness to help. They are deeply moved by causes that help people. Their willingness to align themselves with less fortunate, to fight the injustice that corporate America has created. I think this may be why Facebook is such a valuable tool to span the gap between their generation and mine. It allows me to peer into their world, without judgment, and acknowledge that they may have a point. But the moment we olders try to develop a little organization around their causes...they are out. And this is what drives my crowd nuts. We can't handle the chaos, the freedom of allowing other opinions, the tolerance and dissonance that actually defines their world. If I point out their inconsistent views, they simply shrug their shoulders and withdraw from the conversation.
So here is my simple solution. My generation needs to come to grips with the fact that the organizations we hold dear are dead already. We will keep them running for the time we are still here because we have the money to do so, but these kids are going to outlast us. They will grieve when are gone, but they will not feel compelled to sustain the organizations we hold so dear. My solution is spend whatever time I have left in helping them with the relational issues we all face. To help them understand that indeed the needs of the one, outweigh the needs of the many (scripture, by the way, please don't tell them) So while I still have a voice I will encourage them to be honest, to have fun, to cherish words like integrity, compassion, and perseverance. To love with abandon.
Godspeed to the kids on the block. I think you will make this a better place.
Don
There are a couple of things I have learned about this group. Some of it is encouraging, some of it has me shaking my head, and some of it makes me a little jealous that my life does not contain some of their philosophy and approach.
One of the primary differences between them and me is the simple view of all things "organizational". My approach has always been to rely on the organization as the sole benefactor for my career, my marriage, my life. The generation I belong to relies heavily on the organization to care for and feed us, to give us purpose, to create a safe and nurturing harbor. In this I have been both generously rewarded and deeply wounded. It has only been in the past couple of years (by "couple" I mean 10-15) that I have seen and understood the tragic misperception this is. This younger crowd has a deep suspicion of all things "organizational". Their attitude is that they put up with the organization because it supplies a few of their basic needs. In their world if they could walk away from it, all we would see are heels and elbows. And this applies to politics, religion, business, marriage, nationalism..the list goes on and on.
And this is being played out at all levels of society. Corporations are having to completely overhaul their work structure to make sure they can retain some of these younger workers. I have lived right through the transition from the 9-5 workforce to the flex hours, the shared workload, the cross-training. A majority of this shift is positive. But the loss falls in the categories of employee loyalty, dedication etc. But the truth is that the corporations made the first move by shifting from corporate healthy workplace to corporate shareholder health. This younger generation understood long before my generation that this reality existed.
The most visually dramatic is the outflow of religious organizations. Ten years ago, if you were on the inside of the organization, you could hear the growing sucking sound of the younger generation leaving. It was like watching the tide run out, the water just never returned to same spot on the beach. It shifted further and further out. Unlike the phasic tide, this was a one-way shift. I've got news for the religious leaders, get a day job. They ain't coming back.
Marriage may be the most jarring organization that has been deemed unnecessary. I take great pride in the tenure of my marriage (almost 40 years) and to the credit of my bride the quality of our life together. And the young crowd will slow clap this accomplishment, while shaking their heads in puzzlement. And they are staying away from this organization in droves. The number of sales people I manage who are living with their significant other far outnumbers the ones that have gotten married. And while I might be tempted to point out to them the error of their ways it occurs to me that they have a far different understanding of this than I do. I think it is this one element of the "gay marriage" debate that the youngsters just don't get. They are a little puzzled why we (breeders) would heap such condemnation on those wanting to get married within their gender, when they are completely willing to ignore the concept altogether. Which makes me wonder why the religious leaders aren't dog-piling on them instead of the "gay marriage" crowd. At least the "gay marriage" crowd agrees with us that marriage is important! Maybe we need to realign our angst with anybody who agrees with us on marriage. We have been fussing at the wrong group all along! Nothing new here.
But the other important shift is the willingness to help. They are deeply moved by causes that help people. Their willingness to align themselves with less fortunate, to fight the injustice that corporate America has created. I think this may be why Facebook is such a valuable tool to span the gap between their generation and mine. It allows me to peer into their world, without judgment, and acknowledge that they may have a point. But the moment we olders try to develop a little organization around their causes...they are out. And this is what drives my crowd nuts. We can't handle the chaos, the freedom of allowing other opinions, the tolerance and dissonance that actually defines their world. If I point out their inconsistent views, they simply shrug their shoulders and withdraw from the conversation.
So here is my simple solution. My generation needs to come to grips with the fact that the organizations we hold dear are dead already. We will keep them running for the time we are still here because we have the money to do so, but these kids are going to outlast us. They will grieve when are gone, but they will not feel compelled to sustain the organizations we hold so dear. My solution is spend whatever time I have left in helping them with the relational issues we all face. To help them understand that indeed the needs of the one, outweigh the needs of the many (scripture, by the way, please don't tell them) So while I still have a voice I will encourage them to be honest, to have fun, to cherish words like integrity, compassion, and perseverance. To love with abandon.
Godspeed to the kids on the block. I think you will make this a better place.
Don
Wednesday, May 6, 2015
Endarkment
We are taught from the time we are little that "darkness" is evil and "light" is good. It is the daily reminder that these two are opposed and opposite each other. Our society uses this in the public conversation through our movies, Darth Vader is dressed in black, Luke is in white. In the old westerns the bad guys wore black hats and the good guys white hats. Movies and television that deal with evil or trauma are referred to as "dark". We even have a genre known as "dark comedies". Pirates of old were "black-hearted" and even named Blackbeard. Do you remember at dusk your mother calling you for the night, from the creeping darkness to the light in the house. She was protecting us from the evil of the night. Even in our spiritual walk we view darkness as evil, several scriptures use the night or darkness as a metaphor for evil, as contrast to the light. It is inescapable, darkness is evil. Or so we have been told.
These thoughts have been rambling around in my head for a while, so forgive me if this comes out a little random. What has me stumped is the inevitability of the darkness for each of us. There is simply no escaping the "darkness". It could be circumstances beyond our control that has dimmed the light. There might have been poor decisions or poor responses that brought on the darkness. It might be the disillusionment of life that happens to us all. I wrote about this in a blog post "Living Plan B" July 21, 2009, but really I have sprinkled this idea all through my blog and shared it publicly. But the struggle to understand still needles me.
Perhaps the dissonance I feel can be found in our society's preoccupation with happiness and security versus the reality that happiness is elusive and security is a myth. This societal bent has placed a patina over our entire existence and left us dissatisfied. And the articulation of this dissatisfaction is frowned on. Our home and family should all be healthy and happy. Our church life should be "solar" as one writer put it, full of joy and peace and good will. Our workplace should be fulfilling and successful. So when there is something missing from the above, when I am not performing at the level that it seems everyone else is, then the darkness slides in and the great cover-up begins. Which only bangs open the door for the darkness to rush in with even more force. We run from this darkness because it reflects, at some deep level, our own failures to craft the life we envisioned from the beginning.
But there are a couple of things that make me pause and reflect on the "darkness". In the most elemental way, the Creator built our entire universe with each "day" half light and half dark. Could we stand to live in the light all the time? No. Would all darkness be the best? Also no. Each serves its own purpose. The light is for purpose and action. We keep moving and accomplishing in the light. But the dark is for rest and more importantly reflection. It is in the dark quiet moments that we can come face to face with the reality of our lives. It is in those moments when the Creator whispers his message.
Barbara Brown Taylor says, "While this darkness was only a poor cousin of araphel, it alerted me to a question that would preoccupy me for months to come: when we run from darkness, how much do we know about what we are running from? If we turn away from darkness on principle, doing everything we can to avoid because there is simply no telling what it contains, isn't there a chance that what we are running from is God?"
The other thing that gives me pause is on closer investigation of the old book, there are some comments and references that indicate that darkness or the emotions that are ascribed to it are not all bad. In fact a few of them have a pretty elevated place:
"Blessed are the poor in spirit.."
"Blessed are those who mourn.."
"Blessed are the meek.."
Even the man who manifested God was known as "a man of tears" Darkness was not a stranger to him, but was a moment to hear the whispers of illumination.
So while I struggle with the societal disdain of darkness and my own residency in that darkness, I have come to value the lessons learned during those moments. The other primary lesson for me was to give myself a break in the midst of those dark nights, to be unapologetic that discernment is not easy and is not cheap and does not come while in the midst of the sunshine, but in the dark and aloneness of the night.
Godspeed to those who have known more than their share of the dark, we should listen to you because the Creator has granted you a wisdom beyond the norm.
Don
These thoughts have been rambling around in my head for a while, so forgive me if this comes out a little random. What has me stumped is the inevitability of the darkness for each of us. There is simply no escaping the "darkness". It could be circumstances beyond our control that has dimmed the light. There might have been poor decisions or poor responses that brought on the darkness. It might be the disillusionment of life that happens to us all. I wrote about this in a blog post "Living Plan B" July 21, 2009, but really I have sprinkled this idea all through my blog and shared it publicly. But the struggle to understand still needles me.
Perhaps the dissonance I feel can be found in our society's preoccupation with happiness and security versus the reality that happiness is elusive and security is a myth. This societal bent has placed a patina over our entire existence and left us dissatisfied. And the articulation of this dissatisfaction is frowned on. Our home and family should all be healthy and happy. Our church life should be "solar" as one writer put it, full of joy and peace and good will. Our workplace should be fulfilling and successful. So when there is something missing from the above, when I am not performing at the level that it seems everyone else is, then the darkness slides in and the great cover-up begins. Which only bangs open the door for the darkness to rush in with even more force. We run from this darkness because it reflects, at some deep level, our own failures to craft the life we envisioned from the beginning.
But there are a couple of things that make me pause and reflect on the "darkness". In the most elemental way, the Creator built our entire universe with each "day" half light and half dark. Could we stand to live in the light all the time? No. Would all darkness be the best? Also no. Each serves its own purpose. The light is for purpose and action. We keep moving and accomplishing in the light. But the dark is for rest and more importantly reflection. It is in the dark quiet moments that we can come face to face with the reality of our lives. It is in those moments when the Creator whispers his message.
Barbara Brown Taylor says, "While this darkness was only a poor cousin of araphel, it alerted me to a question that would preoccupy me for months to come: when we run from darkness, how much do we know about what we are running from? If we turn away from darkness on principle, doing everything we can to avoid because there is simply no telling what it contains, isn't there a chance that what we are running from is God?"
The other thing that gives me pause is on closer investigation of the old book, there are some comments and references that indicate that darkness or the emotions that are ascribed to it are not all bad. In fact a few of them have a pretty elevated place:
"Blessed are the poor in spirit.."
"Blessed are those who mourn.."
"Blessed are the meek.."
Even the man who manifested God was known as "a man of tears" Darkness was not a stranger to him, but was a moment to hear the whispers of illumination.
So while I struggle with the societal disdain of darkness and my own residency in that darkness, I have come to value the lessons learned during those moments. The other primary lesson for me was to give myself a break in the midst of those dark nights, to be unapologetic that discernment is not easy and is not cheap and does not come while in the midst of the sunshine, but in the dark and aloneness of the night.
Godspeed to those who have known more than their share of the dark, we should listen to you because the Creator has granted you a wisdom beyond the norm.
Don
Tuesday, May 5, 2015
Snuggling With A Diva
This past Saturday morning dawned calm and clear and borderline cold. As is the usual routine I woke up before my bride and our oldest daughter who was here visiting and my oldest granddaughter. The coffee had percolated just right and I was scrunched up on the back porch rummaging around in Matthew in response to some new thoughts I had been having. My 10-year-old ACU sweatshirt and long flannel sleep pants were just able to keep the cold at bay. The morning disciplines were hitting just the right level of thought, questions, and a few insights that kept slipping in and out of my conscious, linear mind, refusing to be articulated. At this precise moment my 8-year-old granddaughter having beaten both her mother and her Nena out of bed came outside and promptly crawled up in my lap. No invitation, no question, no hesitancy. This left me scrambling to move my coffee out of the spill zone, power down my Kindle and make room for this new moment.
We spent the next 20 minutes or so looking at and identifying the various birds strafing our bird feeder, finding the helicopter that made its presence known with the familiar thup-thup-thup before we could see it, and talking about all things of concern for an 8-year-old. With the usual forethought she had only her sleep pants and sleeveless sleep shirt on, so she was relying on me and my old sweatshirt to keep her warm.
What was so compelling to me was the reminder of how it had been when she was little. Now her legs hang off one side and her head and arms stay close only because I wrangle them in from the other side of the chair. But she cozied up, squeezing her head onto my shoulder and neck and there we sat and visited.
You have to understand how special this was. This girl is not a shy, quiet, hesitant little thing. No, this girl is all drama. Singing and dancing and playing and all done with the volume turned all the way up. When she is happy, she is borderline hysterical. When this girl is sad, she is weepy. She has all the range of a teenager, she might be an emotional prodigy. They were in town to see "Newsies" which I am told is a musical. Since it was not a requirement that I go, it was up to her and her mother and her Nena to fill me in later. But she walks in from the musical with a newsies cap on, a t-shirt, and the CD playing in the car stereo with the volume just this side of a landing jet. Every portion of this girl's life is full volume and full speed ahead.
So when this cyclone known as my eldest granddaughter wanted to snuggle for a moment, I set aside my study, my thoughts, my disciplines for this one moment. I am at the stage in life where I don't know when I will go from beloved granddaddy to an old fogey they don't particularly want to be around. These moments get soaked up and stored away in the memory savings account.
By the time we got cold enough to come in, the parent and the grandmother were both up and making plans for breakfast. I never got back to my study, or my coffee, or my thoughts. Except to realize that our creator must have been okay with this trade. I think sometimes he would prefer we snuggle instead of study. I know from some darker moments that He is a snuggler of hearts.
Godspeed to you all who get a "Phoebe" moment, a moment to sit and visit and snuggle while the morning warms up.
Don
We spent the next 20 minutes or so looking at and identifying the various birds strafing our bird feeder, finding the helicopter that made its presence known with the familiar thup-thup-thup before we could see it, and talking about all things of concern for an 8-year-old. With the usual forethought she had only her sleep pants and sleeveless sleep shirt on, so she was relying on me and my old sweatshirt to keep her warm.
What was so compelling to me was the reminder of how it had been when she was little. Now her legs hang off one side and her head and arms stay close only because I wrangle them in from the other side of the chair. But she cozied up, squeezing her head onto my shoulder and neck and there we sat and visited.
You have to understand how special this was. This girl is not a shy, quiet, hesitant little thing. No, this girl is all drama. Singing and dancing and playing and all done with the volume turned all the way up. When she is happy, she is borderline hysterical. When this girl is sad, she is weepy. She has all the range of a teenager, she might be an emotional prodigy. They were in town to see "Newsies" which I am told is a musical. Since it was not a requirement that I go, it was up to her and her mother and her Nena to fill me in later. But she walks in from the musical with a newsies cap on, a t-shirt, and the CD playing in the car stereo with the volume just this side of a landing jet. Every portion of this girl's life is full volume and full speed ahead.
So when this cyclone known as my eldest granddaughter wanted to snuggle for a moment, I set aside my study, my thoughts, my disciplines for this one moment. I am at the stage in life where I don't know when I will go from beloved granddaddy to an old fogey they don't particularly want to be around. These moments get soaked up and stored away in the memory savings account.
By the time we got cold enough to come in, the parent and the grandmother were both up and making plans for breakfast. I never got back to my study, or my coffee, or my thoughts. Except to realize that our creator must have been okay with this trade. I think sometimes he would prefer we snuggle instead of study. I know from some darker moments that He is a snuggler of hearts.
Godspeed to you all who get a "Phoebe" moment, a moment to sit and visit and snuggle while the morning warms up.
Don
Friday, April 17, 2015
Mr Magoo
If you are under the age of 40 you probably don't know who this is. He was a cartoon character who was constantly bumbling into situations because he could not see very well. In fact the character always looked like his eyes were closed . As life swirled around him he seemed to make his way while all sorts of chaos erupted around him. But he plodded on with a charming and cheerful salute to all around him.
This past week while in transit from Dallas to Grand Rapids MI via Charlotte. I came to panic stricken realization while on the last leg of this journey I had lost my glasses. These are not reading glasses. I take them off to read. I have 20/20 within a 10' radius, but get out beyond that the world loses its sharp edges, and the further out you go it gets worse and worse. Oh I can see cars..or at least I think they are cars; and buildings; and mountains apparently do not have tops, they just stretch to the galaxy. Usually there is a rep to cart me around, but this entire trip I was driving. To complicate matters I was only going to be in Grand Rapids for a day then shift over to Boston, where again I would be driving.
So how do you fix this? Hmmm. The grocery store glasses are all reading glasses. Optometrists work in terms of weeks, not hours. I was stuck.
The next 4 days of driving was maddening. Street signs were the worst. If I squinted really hard I could just make out the sign from about 20' away...at 8 mph. Thankfully the chick on the IPhone GPS was more accurate than normal and I was able to creep my way around and not cause any pileups..that I know of. The lady who was to join me to attend the meeting with the customer was quite funny. She is Korean and very polite. When she landed in Boston we gathered our things, took the shuttle to the car rental building, loaded everything and struck out for Braintree MA, about 30 miles away.
As we rode along, this was the conversation:
Me: "Want to hear something really exciting?"
Her: "Yes, Of course!"
Me: "I lost my glasses on Monday and really can't see very well."
Her (very hesitantly and after a very long pause): "Would you like me to drive?"
Me: "Of course not! Just keep a close eye out that side of the car. You're seat belted, right?"
It seemed very funny to me. Koreans are not known for their sense of humor.
She went back to Dallas the next day and seemed really relieved to be going home. I had another day, then a 6AM flight back out.
3:30 AM, dark, raining, no glasses. And the GPS chick is not a cheerful early riser. Drove like a 90 year old in a Studebaker all the way to the airport. Exit to airport was blocked, so had to circle. I believe I achieved an almost 100% success rate of getting my fellow motorists to honk at me. They are so friendly in Boston. I just waved like royalty in a parade!
Wearing my old glasses until new ones can be purchased. Prescription had expired which meant I had to get an exam. My dad was an optometrist, so I know all the reasons for all the tests which did not prevent the good doctor from explaining them anyway. Taking a certain amount of abuse from the ladies in the office due to the look of the old glasses. I just keep waving!
This is probably a preview of my later years. Driving slow, can't see. If things keep going this way, though, I probably won't be able to hear them honk either. Anyway, the investment in some really cool and hip glasses is probably money well spent.
Godspeed, the old scripture came to mind, "Without vision the people perish" Well not this time.
Don
This past week while in transit from Dallas to Grand Rapids MI via Charlotte. I came to panic stricken realization while on the last leg of this journey I had lost my glasses. These are not reading glasses. I take them off to read. I have 20/20 within a 10' radius, but get out beyond that the world loses its sharp edges, and the further out you go it gets worse and worse. Oh I can see cars..or at least I think they are cars; and buildings; and mountains apparently do not have tops, they just stretch to the galaxy. Usually there is a rep to cart me around, but this entire trip I was driving. To complicate matters I was only going to be in Grand Rapids for a day then shift over to Boston, where again I would be driving.
So how do you fix this? Hmmm. The grocery store glasses are all reading glasses. Optometrists work in terms of weeks, not hours. I was stuck.
The next 4 days of driving was maddening. Street signs were the worst. If I squinted really hard I could just make out the sign from about 20' away...at 8 mph. Thankfully the chick on the IPhone GPS was more accurate than normal and I was able to creep my way around and not cause any pileups..that I know of. The lady who was to join me to attend the meeting with the customer was quite funny. She is Korean and very polite. When she landed in Boston we gathered our things, took the shuttle to the car rental building, loaded everything and struck out for Braintree MA, about 30 miles away.
As we rode along, this was the conversation:
Me: "Want to hear something really exciting?"
Her: "Yes, Of course!"
Me: "I lost my glasses on Monday and really can't see very well."
Her (very hesitantly and after a very long pause): "Would you like me to drive?"
Me: "Of course not! Just keep a close eye out that side of the car. You're seat belted, right?"
It seemed very funny to me. Koreans are not known for their sense of humor.
She went back to Dallas the next day and seemed really relieved to be going home. I had another day, then a 6AM flight back out.
3:30 AM, dark, raining, no glasses. And the GPS chick is not a cheerful early riser. Drove like a 90 year old in a Studebaker all the way to the airport. Exit to airport was blocked, so had to circle. I believe I achieved an almost 100% success rate of getting my fellow motorists to honk at me. They are so friendly in Boston. I just waved like royalty in a parade!
Wearing my old glasses until new ones can be purchased. Prescription had expired which meant I had to get an exam. My dad was an optometrist, so I know all the reasons for all the tests which did not prevent the good doctor from explaining them anyway. Taking a certain amount of abuse from the ladies in the office due to the look of the old glasses. I just keep waving!
This is probably a preview of my later years. Driving slow, can't see. If things keep going this way, though, I probably won't be able to hear them honk either. Anyway, the investment in some really cool and hip glasses is probably money well spent.
Godspeed, the old scripture came to mind, "Without vision the people perish" Well not this time.
Don
Monday, April 6, 2015
Weightless
There are times in our lives when the world turns so completely from the axis we are used to that it casts us into another dimension. We are running along in our lives thinking that we know the answers, we know the journey we have chosen, we know what to expect. Then, in a blinding awful moment we are jettisoned into another orbit, another reality.
What makes this so disconcerting is that most, if not all, that we think we know is spun in a different direction and is of no use to us. So we find ourselves naked and alone, scared and unsure, and without the tools with which we had become so familiar. This does not keep us from trying to find a use for those tools, to find something of value from our past. Do you remember Navin (played by Steve Martin) in The Jerk? As he is leaving his home for good, being expelled from his family, he rambles on as he wanders through the house:
"And that's the only thing I need is *this*. I don't need this or this. Just this ashtray... And this paddle game. - The ashtray and the paddle game and that's all I need... And this remote control. - The ashtray, the paddle game, and the remote control, and that's all I need... And these matches. - The ashtray, and these matches, and the remote control, and the paddle ball... And this lamp. - The ashtray, this paddle game, and the remote control, and the lamp, and that's all *I* need. And that's *all* I need too. I don't need one other thing, not one... I need this. - The paddle game and the chair, and the remote control, and the matches for sure. Well what are you looking at? What do you think I'm some kind of a jerk or something! - And this. That's all I need. "
When we are suddenly catapulted from the life we clung to into this new dimension, we grasp for the things that helped define the old life. And none of those things are helpful or even meaningful in the new life.
Some of you about now are saying, "What in the world is he talking about?" But if you have been jettisoned, with or without your permission from the life you thought you were building you don't have to ask. And it could be anything. You could have been shot from the cannon of your career soaring over the three rings and screaming at the knowledge that someone didn't stretch the net. It could be that far too soon the body has begun to wear down, to stop functioning as it should, instead of parts not working so well, entire systems are shutting down. Maybe she/he came home and piled all your stuff in the front yard, changed the locks, and moved the money and you never even had a moment to state your case. It could be any number of events, but the fact is that you are now alone and scared and without emotional or physical or spiritual tools to handle this sudden and cataclysmic moment. Perhaps this was self-inflicted, where all you could think of was that you had to get out, you had to step into the abyss without a parachute of any sort.
Fear breeds anger. It is easy to think that the universe and the One who made it have decided to turn your existence into some sort of sorry, cosmic joke. The brunt of divine laughter and derision. So it is natural to be angry, to be willing to blame, to assume abandonment.
But I read an interesting quote the other day that has been swimming around in the grey matter for over a week:
"The world for which you have been so carefully prepared is being taken from you, by the grace of God." The emphasis is mine. The attributed author is Walter Brueggemann, a Hebrew Bible Scholar.
I will let your grey matter struggle with this a little. I could apply faith, restoration ideas, hope, etc. But this quote comes with so much personal baggage that it probably means something completely different to you than it does to me. It just depends on where the exit burns are inflicted.
But the essence is that the One you follow has other plans than the ones you built. And try as we might to grasp the lamp or the matches or whatever, they will be useless in the new dimension. Grace and pain can never be separated. I feel an entirely different writing for that statement.
Godspeed, so carefully prepared, so completely lost, so redeemed by the grace. Still trying to fully grasp the idea.
Don
What makes this so disconcerting is that most, if not all, that we think we know is spun in a different direction and is of no use to us. So we find ourselves naked and alone, scared and unsure, and without the tools with which we had become so familiar. This does not keep us from trying to find a use for those tools, to find something of value from our past. Do you remember Navin (played by Steve Martin) in The Jerk? As he is leaving his home for good, being expelled from his family, he rambles on as he wanders through the house:
"And that's the only thing I need is *this*. I don't need this or this. Just this ashtray... And this paddle game. - The ashtray and the paddle game and that's all I need... And this remote control. - The ashtray, the paddle game, and the remote control, and that's all I need... And these matches. - The ashtray, and these matches, and the remote control, and the paddle ball... And this lamp. - The ashtray, this paddle game, and the remote control, and the lamp, and that's all *I* need. And that's *all* I need too. I don't need one other thing, not one... I need this. - The paddle game and the chair, and the remote control, and the matches for sure. Well what are you looking at? What do you think I'm some kind of a jerk or something! - And this. That's all I need. "
When we are suddenly catapulted from the life we clung to into this new dimension, we grasp for the things that helped define the old life. And none of those things are helpful or even meaningful in the new life.
Some of you about now are saying, "What in the world is he talking about?" But if you have been jettisoned, with or without your permission from the life you thought you were building you don't have to ask. And it could be anything. You could have been shot from the cannon of your career soaring over the three rings and screaming at the knowledge that someone didn't stretch the net. It could be that far too soon the body has begun to wear down, to stop functioning as it should, instead of parts not working so well, entire systems are shutting down. Maybe she/he came home and piled all your stuff in the front yard, changed the locks, and moved the money and you never even had a moment to state your case. It could be any number of events, but the fact is that you are now alone and scared and without emotional or physical or spiritual tools to handle this sudden and cataclysmic moment. Perhaps this was self-inflicted, where all you could think of was that you had to get out, you had to step into the abyss without a parachute of any sort.
Fear breeds anger. It is easy to think that the universe and the One who made it have decided to turn your existence into some sort of sorry, cosmic joke. The brunt of divine laughter and derision. So it is natural to be angry, to be willing to blame, to assume abandonment.
But I read an interesting quote the other day that has been swimming around in the grey matter for over a week:
"The world for which you have been so carefully prepared is being taken from you, by the grace of God." The emphasis is mine. The attributed author is Walter Brueggemann, a Hebrew Bible Scholar.
I will let your grey matter struggle with this a little. I could apply faith, restoration ideas, hope, etc. But this quote comes with so much personal baggage that it probably means something completely different to you than it does to me. It just depends on where the exit burns are inflicted.
But the essence is that the One you follow has other plans than the ones you built. And try as we might to grasp the lamp or the matches or whatever, they will be useless in the new dimension. Grace and pain can never be separated. I feel an entirely different writing for that statement.
Godspeed, so carefully prepared, so completely lost, so redeemed by the grace. Still trying to fully grasp the idea.
Don
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