Mr Magoo

If you are under the age of 40 you probably don't know who this is. He was a cartoon character who was constantly bumbling into situations because he could not see very well. In fact the character always looked like his eyes were closed . As life swirled around him he seemed to make his way while all sorts of chaos erupted around him. But he plodded on with a charming and cheerful salute to all around him.

This past week while in transit from Dallas to Grand Rapids MI via Charlotte. I came to panic stricken realization while on the last leg of this journey I had lost my glasses. These are not reading glasses. I take them off to read. I have 20/20 within a 10' radius, but get out beyond that the world loses its sharp edges, and the further out you go it gets worse and worse. Oh I can see cars..or at least I think they are cars; and buildings; and mountains apparently do not have tops, they just stretch to the galaxy. Usually there is a rep to cart me around, but this entire trip I was driving. To complicate matters I was only going to be in Grand Rapids for a day then shift over to Boston, where again I would be driving.

So how do you fix this? Hmmm. The grocery store glasses are all reading glasses. Optometrists work in terms of weeks, not hours. I was stuck.

The next 4 days of driving was maddening. Street signs were the worst. If I squinted really hard I could just make out the sign from about 20' away...at 8 mph. Thankfully the chick on the IPhone GPS was more accurate than normal and I was able to creep my way around and not cause any pileups..that I know of. The lady who was to join me to attend the meeting with the customer was quite funny. She is Korean and very polite. When she landed in Boston we gathered our things, took the shuttle to the car rental building, loaded everything and struck out for Braintree MA, about 30 miles away.

As we rode along, this was the conversation:
Me: "Want to hear something really exciting?"
Her: "Yes, Of course!"
Me: "I lost my glasses on Monday and really can't see very well."
Her (very hesitantly and after a very long pause): "Would you like me to drive?"
Me: "Of course not! Just keep a close eye out that side of the car. You're seat belted, right?"

It seemed very funny to me. Koreans are not known for their sense of humor.

She went back to Dallas the next day and seemed really relieved to be going home. I had another day, then a 6AM flight back out.

3:30 AM, dark, raining, no glasses. And the GPS chick is not a cheerful early riser. Drove like a 90 year old in a Studebaker all the way to the airport. Exit to airport was blocked, so had to circle. I believe I achieved an almost 100% success rate of getting my fellow motorists to honk at me. They are so friendly in Boston. I just waved like royalty in a parade!

Wearing my old glasses until new ones can be purchased. Prescription had expired which meant I had to get an exam. My dad was an optometrist, so I know all the reasons for all the tests which did not prevent the good doctor from explaining them anyway. Taking a certain amount of abuse from the ladies in the office due to the look of the old glasses. I just keep waving!

This is probably a preview of my later years. Driving slow, can't see. If things keep going this way, though, I probably won't be able to hear them honk either. Anyway, the investment in some really cool and hip glasses is probably money well spent.

Godspeed, the old scripture came to mind, "Without vision the people perish" Well not this time.
Don