Weightless

There are times in our lives when the world turns so completely from the axis we are used to that it casts us into another dimension. We are running along in our lives thinking that we know the answers, we know the journey we have chosen, we know what to expect. Then, in a blinding awful moment we are jettisoned into another orbit, another reality.

What makes this so disconcerting is that most, if not all, that we think we know is spun in a different direction and is of no use to us. So we find ourselves naked and alone, scared and unsure, and without the tools with which we had become so familiar. This does not keep us from trying to find a use for those tools, to find something of value from our past. Do you remember Navin (played by Steve Martin) in The Jerk? As he is leaving his home for good, being expelled from his family, he rambles on as he wanders through the house:
"And that's the only thing I need is *this*. I don't need this or this. Just this ashtray... And this paddle game. - The ashtray and the paddle game and that's all I need... And this remote control. - The ashtray, the paddle game, and the remote control, and that's all I need... And these matches. - The ashtray, and these matches, and the remote control, and the paddle ball... And this lamp. - The ashtray, this paddle game, and the remote control, and the lamp, and that's all *I* need. And that's *all* I need too. I don't need one other thing, not one... I need this. - The paddle game and the chair, and the remote control, and the matches for sure. Well what are you looking at? What do you think I'm some kind of a jerk or something! - And this. That's all I need. "

When we are suddenly catapulted from the life we clung to into this new dimension, we grasp for the things that helped define the old life. And none of those things are helpful or even meaningful in the new life.

Some of you about now are saying, "What in the world is he talking about?" But if you have been jettisoned, with or without your permission from the life you thought you were building you don't have to ask. And it could be anything. You could have been shot from the cannon of your career soaring over the three rings and screaming at the knowledge that someone didn't stretch the net. It could be that far too soon the body has begun to wear down, to stop functioning as it should, instead of parts not working so well, entire systems are shutting down. Maybe she/he came home and piled all your stuff in the front yard, changed the locks, and moved the money and you never even had a moment to state your case. It could be any number of events, but the fact is that you are now alone and scared and without emotional or physical or spiritual tools to handle this sudden and cataclysmic moment.  Perhaps this was self-inflicted, where all you could think of was that you had to get out, you had to step into the abyss without a parachute of any sort.

Fear breeds anger. It is easy to think that the universe and the One who made it have decided to turn your existence into some sort of sorry, cosmic joke. The brunt of divine laughter and derision. So it is natural to be angry, to be willing to blame, to assume abandonment.

But I read an interesting quote the other day that has been swimming around in the grey matter for over a week:
"The world for which you have been so carefully prepared is being taken from you, by the grace of God." The emphasis is mine. The attributed author is Walter Brueggemann, a Hebrew Bible Scholar.

I will let your grey matter struggle with this a little. I could apply faith, restoration ideas, hope, etc. But this quote comes with so much personal baggage that it probably means something completely different to you than it does to me. It just depends on where the exit burns are inflicted.

But the essence is that the One you follow has other plans than the ones you built. And try as we might to grasp the lamp or the matches or whatever, they will be useless in the new dimension. Grace and pain can never be separated. I feel an entirely different writing for that statement.

Godspeed, so carefully prepared, so completely lost, so redeemed by the grace. Still trying to fully grasp the idea.
Don