Over the past few years I have had the opportunity to work with and manage young people (under 40). During that time I had a chance to sit with them as we drove from one appointment to another and visit about work, life, dreams, worries..the entire gamut of the human experience. And these visits have been concerning and enlightening and encouraging. It eventually comes up that these young people are no better at judging age than I am. Generally they all think I am younger than their parents, when in reality, usually I am older and sometimes by a good bit. It would do my ego much more good if I thought it was my youngish looks or my "hip" demeanor, but I think they just don't have a clue. So the immense pride is tempered. Of course I could start complaining about all the aches and pains. That would set them straight, but then they would compare me to their grandparents and that would not do my ego any good.
There are a couple of things I have learned about this group. Some of it is encouraging, some of it has me shaking my head, and some of it makes me a little jealous that my life does not contain some of their philosophy and approach.
One of the primary differences between them and me is the simple view of all things "organizational". My approach has always been to rely on the organization as the sole benefactor for my career, my marriage, my life. The generation I belong to relies heavily on the organization to care for and feed us, to give us purpose, to create a safe and nurturing harbor. In this I have been both generously rewarded and deeply wounded. It has only been in the past couple of years (by "couple" I mean 10-15) that I have seen and understood the tragic misperception this is. This younger crowd has a deep suspicion of all things "organizational". Their attitude is that they put up with the organization because it supplies a few of their basic needs. In their world if they could walk away from it, all we would see are heels and elbows. And this applies to politics, religion, business, marriage, nationalism..the list goes on and on.
And this is being played out at all levels of society. Corporations are having to completely overhaul their work structure to make sure they can retain some of these younger workers. I have lived right through the transition from the 9-5 workforce to the flex hours, the shared workload, the cross-training. A majority of this shift is positive. But the loss falls in the categories of employee loyalty, dedication etc. But the truth is that the corporations made the first move by shifting from corporate healthy workplace to corporate shareholder health. This younger generation understood long before my generation that this reality existed.
The most visually dramatic is the outflow of religious organizations. Ten years ago, if you were on the inside of the organization, you could hear the growing sucking sound of the younger generation leaving. It was like watching the tide run out, the water just never returned to same spot on the beach. It shifted further and further out. Unlike the phasic tide, this was a one-way shift. I've got news for the religious leaders, get a day job. They ain't coming back.
Marriage may be the most jarring organization that has been deemed unnecessary. I take great pride in the tenure of my marriage (almost 40 years) and to the credit of my bride the quality of our life together. And the young crowd will slow clap this accomplishment, while shaking their heads in puzzlement. And they are staying away from this organization in droves. The number of sales people I manage who are living with their significant other far outnumbers the ones that have gotten married. And while I might be tempted to point out to them the error of their ways it occurs to me that they have a far different understanding of this than I do. I think it is this one element of the "gay marriage" debate that the youngsters just don't get. They are a little puzzled why we (breeders) would heap such condemnation on those wanting to get married within their gender, when they are completely willing to ignore the concept altogether. Which makes me wonder why the religious leaders aren't dog-piling on them instead of the "gay marriage" crowd. At least the "gay marriage" crowd agrees with us that marriage is important! Maybe we need to realign our angst with anybody who agrees with us on marriage. We have been fussing at the wrong group all along! Nothing new here.
But the other important shift is the willingness to help. They are deeply moved by causes that help people. Their willingness to align themselves with less fortunate, to fight the injustice that corporate America has created. I think this may be why Facebook is such a valuable tool to span the gap between their generation and mine. It allows me to peer into their world, without judgment, and acknowledge that they may have a point. But the moment we olders try to develop a little organization around their causes...they are out. And this is what drives my crowd nuts. We can't handle the chaos, the freedom of allowing other opinions, the tolerance and dissonance that actually defines their world. If I point out their inconsistent views, they simply shrug their shoulders and withdraw from the conversation.
So here is my simple solution. My generation needs to come to grips with the fact that the organizations we hold dear are dead already. We will keep them running for the time we are still here because we have the money to do so, but these kids are going to outlast us. They will grieve when are gone, but they will not feel compelled to sustain the organizations we hold so dear. My solution is spend whatever time I have left in helping them with the relational issues we all face. To help them understand that indeed the needs of the one, outweigh the needs of the many (scripture, by the way, please don't tell them) So while I still have a voice I will encourage them to be honest, to have fun, to cherish words like integrity, compassion, and perseverance. To love with abandon.
Godspeed to the kids on the block. I think you will make this a better place.
Don
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