And Then There Was Two

While Thanksgiving is, by far, my favorite holiday, Christmas undergoes the most change from decade to decade. Some of the changes are good (no more assembly required) some are just..well changes, and others are not so good.

I hardly remember my Christmases as a child. The farm was a great place to have the tree, the old farmhouse that is now well over 100 years old still is warm and safe, drafty and creaky. Dad would build a fire in the fireplace that steel workers would be proud of. Mom used to worry that presents would get tossed into the conflagration, but the real worry was the 10' flame going up the chimney would catch the side of the house on fire. Of course the heat would push us all to other end of the huge family room, sweating in our pj's and wondering who could get close enough to throw in the last of the Christmas wrap. I remember seeing the tiptop of the tree being yanked out the front door, all this before lunch on Christmas day! Dad was never one to be maudlin' over something like a Christmas tree.

Then I got married. Sharing Christmas creates a certain level of anxiety, but we all handled it pretty well. 20 or so folks in a small frame house in Ft. Worth was a cocktail sure to bring interactive excitement. Again the open flame space-heaters was anticipation enough with all the gift wrap and ribbon, plus my wife's aunt loves cats and they were always lurking around, like an open invitation to a streaking ball-o-fire. Never happened, but it sure would have been exciting. Bev's mom and aunts wore "decider" robes, in-laws were not allowed, plus most of the in-laws were guys, so it was obvious that we couldn't decide anything.

Kids came along. Those of us who are challenged by written instructions, both English and Japanese, spent our nights "assembling." Trikes, bikes, he-man fortresses, doll carriages, doll houses, remote cars, where are the batteries?!? Family gathering after the gift opening, sharing what was given to whom, by whom, who cried, who tried to put the best face on a dubious gift.

Then new adults in the equation...in-law kids. Balancing schedules, balancing traditions, realizing that some of their traditions are better than yours. New arguments, new hugs, new ...everything.

So after 50+ years of changing holiday, my bride and I experienced a new kind of Christmas. We woke up Christmas morning, just the two of us. This is our off year with kids and grandkids, plans are smaller and quieter, house was still and silent. We had received a tongue-lashing from our oldest because on Christmas eve, we went and worked out. We did fix a nice meal and opened a really surprising Pinot Noir.
I gave my bride her big present, while she was still in bed. She seemed happy about it. The entire day was sort if quiet and uneventful and really okay. I was afraid that we would be sad or contentious with each other, but it was a good day. We drove to Abilene and had lunch and dinner with my brother, saw my dad as he celebrated with his wife's family. Then drove home late, falling into bed around midnight.

It occurred to me that these seasons of our lives change and merge and move in ways we don't always anticipate or even want, but the real gifts are the ones we carry in our hearts and in our memories. All the holidays past make this one a good one. Next year we will have everyone around, but I hope to get a quiet moment with my bride, to reflect on this one, we are truly one being, our past is one shared, our future is one anticipated.

For those who had a big holiday, with lots of folks and noise and gifts, Godspeed.
For those who had a smaller holiday, with reflection and quiet moments, Godspeed.