This vacation and holiday season has been so different from all the others. My bride and I have spent a lot of moments together that reflect our lifetime of "sharing" of being together. Christmas was quiet and reflective, rather than running and gunning, from one place to another, dealing with wrapping paper and bows, receipts and returns, whispered secrets. This year was just "us" in a very odd, sort of sweet way.
But this season also brought another level of sharing. My bride's aunt, Aunt Bess, has been struggling against the big C since this past summer. It was sobering to see someone who had been healthy all their life to suddenly have cancer in their liver, lungs, brain, breast, who knows where else. To watch a tall, elegant lady slowly lose a battle, even though the fight was brave and fought with integrity, it was a battle lost early this past Sunday morning. We could see her losing ground, like a courageous warrior simply outgunned and out manned, retreating, buying time, trying to find a solution, but in the end simply having to stand in the face of the enemy and allow the enemy to do its' worst.
But its worst was not good enough. The battle may have been lost, but the war was won. She died with honor, with integrity, none of her values compromised. She died as she had lived, on her terms, which mirrored the terms of her caring God.
After the funeral home had picked up the body, I drove back to our house in Dallas to get some needed resupplies for me and my bride. I left early, and when about halfway home the sun spread its first glow across the horizon. The night lights to the towns were still on, making a wondrous contrast between God's glory and man's insecurities. The only thought that came to my mind was this, " I wonder if Aunt Bess is looking at the same sunrise, but from the other side?" Is she as filled with wonder and awe as I am? I wonder. Does she now have in her possession the answers to all the big questions? I wonder. Can she now understand all the reasons for the struggle, for the heartache, for the trauma? I wonder. Or is she just resting, glad the pain is over, and reuniting with those that have gone before? I wonder.
There are no answers on this side. We can guess, we can speculate, but really all we can do is wonder.
So, Aunt Bess, here's a tip of the hat to a wonderful, articulate, quirky, and yes elegant lady.
I hope you caught the sunrise of your new beginning, it was done as only Texas can do it.
Godspeed
Don
Monday, December 29, 2008
Friday, December 26, 2008
And Then There Was Two
While Thanksgiving is, by far, my favorite holiday, Christmas undergoes the most change from decade to decade. Some of the changes are good (no more assembly required) some are just..well changes, and others are not so good.
I hardly remember my Christmases as a child. The farm was a great place to have the tree, the old farmhouse that is now well over 100 years old still is warm and safe, drafty and creaky. Dad would build a fire in the fireplace that steel workers would be proud of. Mom used to worry that presents would get tossed into the conflagration, but the real worry was the 10' flame going up the chimney would catch the side of the house on fire. Of course the heat would push us all to other end of the huge family room, sweating in our pj's and wondering who could get close enough to throw in the last of the Christmas wrap. I remember seeing the tiptop of the tree being yanked out the front door, all this before lunch on Christmas day! Dad was never one to be maudlin' over something like a Christmas tree.
Then I got married. Sharing Christmas creates a certain level of anxiety, but we all handled it pretty well. 20 or so folks in a small frame house in Ft. Worth was a cocktail sure to bring interactive excitement. Again the open flame space-heaters was anticipation enough with all the gift wrap and ribbon, plus my wife's aunt loves cats and they were always lurking around, like an open invitation to a streaking ball-o-fire. Never happened, but it sure would have been exciting. Bev's mom and aunts wore "decider" robes, in-laws were not allowed, plus most of the in-laws were guys, so it was obvious that we couldn't decide anything.
Kids came along. Those of us who are challenged by written instructions, both English and Japanese, spent our nights "assembling." Trikes, bikes, he-man fortresses, doll carriages, doll houses, remote cars, where are the batteries?!? Family gathering after the gift opening, sharing what was given to whom, by whom, who cried, who tried to put the best face on a dubious gift.
Then new adults in the equation...in-law kids. Balancing schedules, balancing traditions, realizing that some of their traditions are better than yours. New arguments, new hugs, new ...everything.
So after 50+ years of changing holiday, my bride and I experienced a new kind of Christmas. We woke up Christmas morning, just the two of us. This is our off year with kids and grandkids, plans are smaller and quieter, house was still and silent. We had received a tongue-lashing from our oldest because on Christmas eve, we went and worked out. We did fix a nice meal and opened a really surprising Pinot Noir.
I gave my bride her big present, while she was still in bed. She seemed happy about it. The entire day was sort if quiet and uneventful and really okay. I was afraid that we would be sad or contentious with each other, but it was a good day. We drove to Abilene and had lunch and dinner with my brother, saw my dad as he celebrated with his wife's family. Then drove home late, falling into bed around midnight.
It occurred to me that these seasons of our lives change and merge and move in ways we don't always anticipate or even want, but the real gifts are the ones we carry in our hearts and in our memories. All the holidays past make this one a good one. Next year we will have everyone around, but I hope to get a quiet moment with my bride, to reflect on this one, we are truly one being, our past is one shared, our future is one anticipated.
For those who had a big holiday, with lots of folks and noise and gifts, Godspeed.
For those who had a smaller holiday, with reflection and quiet moments, Godspeed.
I hardly remember my Christmases as a child. The farm was a great place to have the tree, the old farmhouse that is now well over 100 years old still is warm and safe, drafty and creaky. Dad would build a fire in the fireplace that steel workers would be proud of. Mom used to worry that presents would get tossed into the conflagration, but the real worry was the 10' flame going up the chimney would catch the side of the house on fire. Of course the heat would push us all to other end of the huge family room, sweating in our pj's and wondering who could get close enough to throw in the last of the Christmas wrap. I remember seeing the tiptop of the tree being yanked out the front door, all this before lunch on Christmas day! Dad was never one to be maudlin' over something like a Christmas tree.
Then I got married. Sharing Christmas creates a certain level of anxiety, but we all handled it pretty well. 20 or so folks in a small frame house in Ft. Worth was a cocktail sure to bring interactive excitement. Again the open flame space-heaters was anticipation enough with all the gift wrap and ribbon, plus my wife's aunt loves cats and they were always lurking around, like an open invitation to a streaking ball-o-fire. Never happened, but it sure would have been exciting. Bev's mom and aunts wore "decider" robes, in-laws were not allowed, plus most of the in-laws were guys, so it was obvious that we couldn't decide anything.
Kids came along. Those of us who are challenged by written instructions, both English and Japanese, spent our nights "assembling." Trikes, bikes, he-man fortresses, doll carriages, doll houses, remote cars, where are the batteries?!? Family gathering after the gift opening, sharing what was given to whom, by whom, who cried, who tried to put the best face on a dubious gift.
Then new adults in the equation...in-law kids. Balancing schedules, balancing traditions, realizing that some of their traditions are better than yours. New arguments, new hugs, new ...everything.
So after 50+ years of changing holiday, my bride and I experienced a new kind of Christmas. We woke up Christmas morning, just the two of us. This is our off year with kids and grandkids, plans are smaller and quieter, house was still and silent. We had received a tongue-lashing from our oldest because on Christmas eve, we went and worked out. We did fix a nice meal and opened a really surprising Pinot Noir.
I gave my bride her big present, while she was still in bed. She seemed happy about it. The entire day was sort if quiet and uneventful and really okay. I was afraid that we would be sad or contentious with each other, but it was a good day. We drove to Abilene and had lunch and dinner with my brother, saw my dad as he celebrated with his wife's family. Then drove home late, falling into bed around midnight.
It occurred to me that these seasons of our lives change and merge and move in ways we don't always anticipate or even want, but the real gifts are the ones we carry in our hearts and in our memories. All the holidays past make this one a good one. Next year we will have everyone around, but I hope to get a quiet moment with my bride, to reflect on this one, we are truly one being, our past is one shared, our future is one anticipated.
For those who had a big holiday, with lots of folks and noise and gifts, Godspeed.
For those who had a smaller holiday, with reflection and quiet moments, Godspeed.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Two Faces of ...Church
There were two things I wanted to write about, but space and attention spans prohibited me from doing them both in this blog. The one I will save for later deals with Christmas, so look for it in a day or so.
This blog was prompted by an email conversation I had with a young man that responded via email about my past "issues" with the church, and the circumstances in which they arose. I answered off-line, but wanted to share my dual attitude about the church, as she is manifested today.
Yes, I have an issue with the manifestation of the church today. I believe the structure in place is one of expedience and not one of spiritual design. I look at two evidences of this "a-scriptural" church. The lack of spiritual discernment is stunning to me. For all the decades I have been associated with this form of religion, and the emphasis we have placed on education, we are still as spiritually unformed as we were 30 years ago. Oh, I know, the worship services are more contemporary, and the process is more business-like, but the people are just as confused and self-centered as ever. I read a little book called God's Debris, that summed it up pretty well. The contention was that people didn't really believe in God, but in the benefits of being in the group.
The proof was that if people really believed they would do whatever it takes, go to the ends of the earth and beyond, to truly understand. When in reality, they won't even go to the ends of the pew to fully understand. And I would like to believe that this simply applies to the people and not the leaders, but alas, that is not the case. There are very few leaders who can articulate the major theological precepts, much less apply the precepts to church health. Consequently, we are led by amateurs in the battle, by men who concern themselves with the health of the organization rather than the organism.
Which leads to the second indication. The church is run as an organization, which is man-made. Most, if not all, of the decisions are based on making sure the organization moves forward. Leaders are the head, directing the masses below, usually through a team of hired professionals. I find nothing in scripture that promotes this structure, and I have looked. This structure is man-made, and in my opinion will ultimately fail.
This structure, this mindset does most of the damage to the church today. Ministers are hired and fired, programs are initiated and scrapped, ideas come and go, processes are implemented, then dropped because they are man inspired and fall apart.
So, yes, this structure has harmed me and the ones I love and thousands like us simply because we saw another way. This one I have issues with.
But I think the church, when viewed as a community of believers, can be one of the most powerful and most effective voice of God in the world today. When the church is lead by Jesus
Christ and Jesus Christ alone, we see the point of our existence. When the church is viewed as a family of people dedicated to caring for each other, caring for those around them, and dedicated to articulating and practicing the justice, mercy, discernment of God in the world, they are the most fulfilling endeavor we can associate with.
When this happens, leaders become spiritual formulists, helping develop those around them into the disciples they need to be. These leaders are fully immersed in the spiritual disciplines, they are men who have triumphed and failed in their spiritual journey, they have stared the evil one in the eye and grappled, hand to hand, and won. They have grey hair (or no hair) because they have "worried" the enemy to the ground, and stood humbly in the presence of God and counted their victory as his. They have edged to the side of the trail and reached a scarred hand to those who have fallen, and helped them back onto the trail, supporting them with a shoulder until the strength has returned.
Those who follow them are people who have come to understand the grandeur of following a God who has a purpose and a plan, outside the security and happiness of those following. They are a people of discernment, what one of my professors once a called a "people of informed judgement." People who are willing and able and anxious to struggle with the big ideas of God, the conflict between things on earth and things in heaven. They are a people who see world events from a different point of view, and live out that point of view, regardless of the consequences. They are willing to engage the battle of injustice, of greed, to engage the battle for those less fortunate, because their God implements his plan in those circumstances.
This is the church I love, this is the church I will go to my grave loving, this is the church that will endure. I am a member-at-large of this church. This is God's church.
So Godspeed to all you other members. Maybe we should develop a secret handshake, which would mean we need a committee....see where this starts?
Don
This blog was prompted by an email conversation I had with a young man that responded via email about my past "issues" with the church, and the circumstances in which they arose. I answered off-line, but wanted to share my dual attitude about the church, as she is manifested today.
Yes, I have an issue with the manifestation of the church today. I believe the structure in place is one of expedience and not one of spiritual design. I look at two evidences of this "a-scriptural" church. The lack of spiritual discernment is stunning to me. For all the decades I have been associated with this form of religion, and the emphasis we have placed on education, we are still as spiritually unformed as we were 30 years ago. Oh, I know, the worship services are more contemporary, and the process is more business-like, but the people are just as confused and self-centered as ever. I read a little book called God's Debris, that summed it up pretty well. The contention was that people didn't really believe in God, but in the benefits of being in the group.
The proof was that if people really believed they would do whatever it takes, go to the ends of the earth and beyond, to truly understand. When in reality, they won't even go to the ends of the pew to fully understand. And I would like to believe that this simply applies to the people and not the leaders, but alas, that is not the case. There are very few leaders who can articulate the major theological precepts, much less apply the precepts to church health. Consequently, we are led by amateurs in the battle, by men who concern themselves with the health of the organization rather than the organism.
Which leads to the second indication. The church is run as an organization, which is man-made. Most, if not all, of the decisions are based on making sure the organization moves forward. Leaders are the head, directing the masses below, usually through a team of hired professionals. I find nothing in scripture that promotes this structure, and I have looked. This structure is man-made, and in my opinion will ultimately fail.
This structure, this mindset does most of the damage to the church today. Ministers are hired and fired, programs are initiated and scrapped, ideas come and go, processes are implemented, then dropped because they are man inspired and fall apart.
So, yes, this structure has harmed me and the ones I love and thousands like us simply because we saw another way. This one I have issues with.
But I think the church, when viewed as a community of believers, can be one of the most powerful and most effective voice of God in the world today. When the church is lead by Jesus
Christ and Jesus Christ alone, we see the point of our existence. When the church is viewed as a family of people dedicated to caring for each other, caring for those around them, and dedicated to articulating and practicing the justice, mercy, discernment of God in the world, they are the most fulfilling endeavor we can associate with.
When this happens, leaders become spiritual formulists, helping develop those around them into the disciples they need to be. These leaders are fully immersed in the spiritual disciplines, they are men who have triumphed and failed in their spiritual journey, they have stared the evil one in the eye and grappled, hand to hand, and won. They have grey hair (or no hair) because they have "worried" the enemy to the ground, and stood humbly in the presence of God and counted their victory as his. They have edged to the side of the trail and reached a scarred hand to those who have fallen, and helped them back onto the trail, supporting them with a shoulder until the strength has returned.
Those who follow them are people who have come to understand the grandeur of following a God who has a purpose and a plan, outside the security and happiness of those following. They are a people of discernment, what one of my professors once a called a "people of informed judgement." People who are willing and able and anxious to struggle with the big ideas of God, the conflict between things on earth and things in heaven. They are a people who see world events from a different point of view, and live out that point of view, regardless of the consequences. They are willing to engage the battle of injustice, of greed, to engage the battle for those less fortunate, because their God implements his plan in those circumstances.
This is the church I love, this is the church I will go to my grave loving, this is the church that will endure. I am a member-at-large of this church. This is God's church.
So Godspeed to all you other members. Maybe we should develop a secret handshake, which would mean we need a committee....see where this starts?
Don
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Cleaning Up
This is another blog of just cleaning up loose ends. Every once in a while you just have to sweep up and start over, this seemed as good a time as any.
IT'S ALIVE! Yes, my little Ford Ranger is back in action. While damaged it looked like a little old man who had lost all his teeth, and carried a perpetual frown. The grill was punched out and the bumper was curled down and back on both ends. Now it has a new grill, new bumper, and a whole new attitude. It seems to like its new dental work, and other than flinching to the middle of the road at night, there doesn't seem to be any lingering effects of the run-in with the deer Halloween weekend. Yeah!
Airline Observation: While flying back from Grand Rapids and Chicago, out of a snow storm (snow falling sideways is never a good sign) I was so relieved to going back to Texas and balmier weather. I had had enough of single digit temps and stinging cold wind. As I settled into my seat, the pilot was doing his "we are happy you chose us" speech, he mentioned that Dallas had a cloud ceiling of 400 ft., fog, and possible sleet, he said, "we will have to use an instrument landing.."
So let me get this straight, American Airlines was grounded for a week this past year for poor maintenance, we are using a procedure that is rare enough to mention to the 150 amateurs in the back, and he just slips that little piece of information in?!? What if he is the one pilot that did poorly on the instrument landing part. "Don't worry about it, how many times are you going to use the instruments anyway?" or "You'll get better when you survive one or two of these."
I've got an idea, why don't we just not mention it! We won't know and I'm here to tell you, ignorance is bliss, and a little information is angst. If you are going to announce that information, I want to see the report card on the pilot, I would prefer we not park that sucker in the mall next to the airport!
The wedding is over, the chick was thrilled and I learned something about her in-laws. Those people can DANCE! I don't mean a few of them, I mean all of them. And as the wine and beer were served they got better. Octogenarian dancers included. I'm here to tell you, my tribe would be voted off first (except my first son-in-law, apparently he has been holding out on us)
Well, here is something new to feel inferior about. Sigh.
Anyway, Godspeed to all, enjoy the holidays.
Don
IT'S ALIVE! Yes, my little Ford Ranger is back in action. While damaged it looked like a little old man who had lost all his teeth, and carried a perpetual frown. The grill was punched out and the bumper was curled down and back on both ends. Now it has a new grill, new bumper, and a whole new attitude. It seems to like its new dental work, and other than flinching to the middle of the road at night, there doesn't seem to be any lingering effects of the run-in with the deer Halloween weekend. Yeah!
Airline Observation: While flying back from Grand Rapids and Chicago, out of a snow storm (snow falling sideways is never a good sign) I was so relieved to going back to Texas and balmier weather. I had had enough of single digit temps and stinging cold wind. As I settled into my seat, the pilot was doing his "we are happy you chose us" speech, he mentioned that Dallas had a cloud ceiling of 400 ft., fog, and possible sleet, he said, "we will have to use an instrument landing.."
So let me get this straight, American Airlines was grounded for a week this past year for poor maintenance, we are using a procedure that is rare enough to mention to the 150 amateurs in the back, and he just slips that little piece of information in?!? What if he is the one pilot that did poorly on the instrument landing part. "Don't worry about it, how many times are you going to use the instruments anyway?" or "You'll get better when you survive one or two of these."
I've got an idea, why don't we just not mention it! We won't know and I'm here to tell you, ignorance is bliss, and a little information is angst. If you are going to announce that information, I want to see the report card on the pilot, I would prefer we not park that sucker in the mall next to the airport!
The wedding is over, the chick was thrilled and I learned something about her in-laws. Those people can DANCE! I don't mean a few of them, I mean all of them. And as the wine and beer were served they got better. Octogenarian dancers included. I'm here to tell you, my tribe would be voted off first (except my first son-in-law, apparently he has been holding out on us)
Well, here is something new to feel inferior about. Sigh.
Anyway, Godspeed to all, enjoy the holidays.
Don
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Promptings
I have no idea how most of you feel about the movement of the Spirit. Perhaps you don't believe it at all, maybe you feel like it happens, but never to you. Maybe you have heard voices, or felt that the decisions were so obvious that it had to be divine direction. Maybe you just never thought about it, and are wondering about finishing this blog. Well, I can't blame you. I am all over the board on this one.
However, there is a constant in my life that I has evidenced itself at least a couple of times in my adult years.
I believe there is an active "Spirit" in the world today. I think (s)he moves in ways I don't really understand, but here is my experiential evidence.
I am a teacher by nature. I like new ideas and I like to experience those ideas in the forum of inquisitive minds and open discussion. My gift for teaching has been lying fallow for the past two years because the religious tribe I align myself with "voted me off the island" TWICE! You would think I would get the point, but here is where the Spirit thing happens.
In at least three other times in my life I have been nudged into service. My experience is that it takes time. There were no light in the sky or voices in the night or flash of insight. But, instead, it is a sort of pressure build. It becomes like a itch, dead center in my back, that I can't reach. I can shrug around, or try to reach it with a pencil or stick, but ultimately I have to find a way to really get fingernails on the spot.
Perhaps the Spirit works differently in other situations, but with me it takes time to figure out what is needed. All this to say, the itch is back. I have tried to ignore it, but I know it won't go away until I do something about it. Our dear friends showed me an appeal to "teach" a group no one particularly cares about at most churches, young, college age and a little older young adults. They have little money, they are as flighty as flock of sparrows, and they are infuriatingly inquisitive. But that last part is the part I love, that is where we sync up. New ideas and demanding questions of old ideas are what invigorate me.
So the itch is there. I may share a lot of our discussions on this blog, thus opening the discussion to a broader audience. But the old warhorse is being saddled, the battle will soon be joined, as the old bard once said, "cry havoc, and let loose the dogs of war!"
Awwww. That does feel better.
Godspeed, fellow students, the Spirit is moving.
Don
However, there is a constant in my life that I has evidenced itself at least a couple of times in my adult years.
I believe there is an active "Spirit" in the world today. I think (s)he moves in ways I don't really understand, but here is my experiential evidence.
I am a teacher by nature. I like new ideas and I like to experience those ideas in the forum of inquisitive minds and open discussion. My gift for teaching has been lying fallow for the past two years because the religious tribe I align myself with "voted me off the island" TWICE! You would think I would get the point, but here is where the Spirit thing happens.
In at least three other times in my life I have been nudged into service. My experience is that it takes time. There were no light in the sky or voices in the night or flash of insight. But, instead, it is a sort of pressure build. It becomes like a itch, dead center in my back, that I can't reach. I can shrug around, or try to reach it with a pencil or stick, but ultimately I have to find a way to really get fingernails on the spot.
Perhaps the Spirit works differently in other situations, but with me it takes time to figure out what is needed. All this to say, the itch is back. I have tried to ignore it, but I know it won't go away until I do something about it. Our dear friends showed me an appeal to "teach" a group no one particularly cares about at most churches, young, college age and a little older young adults. They have little money, they are as flighty as flock of sparrows, and they are infuriatingly inquisitive. But that last part is the part I love, that is where we sync up. New ideas and demanding questions of old ideas are what invigorate me.
So the itch is there. I may share a lot of our discussions on this blog, thus opening the discussion to a broader audience. But the old warhorse is being saddled, the battle will soon be joined, as the old bard once said, "cry havoc, and let loose the dogs of war!"
Awwww. That does feel better.
Godspeed, fellow students, the Spirit is moving.
Don
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Healthy Uncertainty
While flying back from Grand Rapids via Chicago (where the high was 16 in GR with snow falling sideways, then on to balmy Chicago with a high of 9) there was a jumble of thoughts running through my head regarding our certainty, or lack there of, in the nature and mien of God. These thoughts don't usually come unbidden into my head, I had been reading Revolution of Character: Discovering Christ's Pattern for Spiritual Formation by Dallas Willard with Don Simpson, which some out there would say is my problem, choices of books. Anyway, they were making the point that everyone goes through spiritual formation of some sort. We either delve deeper or we spend our lives rejecting the premise of God's promise, either way is a development of sorts.
But the real quest, is the acquisition of wisdom, or understanding. Ancient scripture tells us that "fear" is the beginning of wisdom. Fear of God and what he is capable of, what lengths he has shown he will go to accomplish his mission.
The tribe with which I am most familiar has been focused for decades on knowledge. The gathering of details, of properly applied doctrine, of carefully choosing who we will or won't associate. But we seem to have missed the real point...understanding.
Does it strike you as odd that we seem as clueless as everyone else in the face of today's challenges? Does it seem odd that we fret and moan as loudly as the "gentiles" about our money, our country, our "rights"? Shouldn't we (after all these decades of knowledge gathering/cataloging/parsing) be able to shed some light on how this will all work out?
Yet, we seem to be falling into the same mindset as our unwashed neighbors. We worry just as loudly, and can't seem to come to a point of being able to say to those around us, " don't worry, we know what God is up to." Hmmm. but do we really? Where is our knowledge now? Where is the worth in our doctrinal distinctives? All those poor, hapless souls we have crucified on the altar of theological correctness, perhaps were crucified to assuage our uncertainty.
Uncertainty creates fear, and fear creates anger, and anger creates destruction.
Maybe we need a healthy dose of spiritual uncertainty. We know we can't navigate on our own, maybe we just need to learn to listen, to others, to our uncertainess, to God.
Or maybe I need to get some other books.
Godspeed, its okay to be uncertain, its not okay to bludgeon others for their uncertainess.
Don
But the real quest, is the acquisition of wisdom, or understanding. Ancient scripture tells us that "fear" is the beginning of wisdom. Fear of God and what he is capable of, what lengths he has shown he will go to accomplish his mission.
The tribe with which I am most familiar has been focused for decades on knowledge. The gathering of details, of properly applied doctrine, of carefully choosing who we will or won't associate. But we seem to have missed the real point...understanding.
Does it strike you as odd that we seem as clueless as everyone else in the face of today's challenges? Does it seem odd that we fret and moan as loudly as the "gentiles" about our money, our country, our "rights"? Shouldn't we (after all these decades of knowledge gathering/cataloging/parsing) be able to shed some light on how this will all work out?
Yet, we seem to be falling into the same mindset as our unwashed neighbors. We worry just as loudly, and can't seem to come to a point of being able to say to those around us, " don't worry, we know what God is up to." Hmmm. but do we really? Where is our knowledge now? Where is the worth in our doctrinal distinctives? All those poor, hapless souls we have crucified on the altar of theological correctness, perhaps were crucified to assuage our uncertainty.
Uncertainty creates fear, and fear creates anger, and anger creates destruction.
Maybe we need a healthy dose of spiritual uncertainty. We know we can't navigate on our own, maybe we just need to learn to listen, to others, to our uncertainess, to God.
Or maybe I need to get some other books.
Godspeed, its okay to be uncertain, its not okay to bludgeon others for their uncertainess.
Don
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
The Knot is Tied...and Loosed
The last official wedding launch at our house is concluded. There is still clutter all around, decorations scattered all over north Texas, which will have to gathered, and of course the re cleaning of the house. I made the tactical mistake of planning my next business trip on Monday following the wedding, so we won't get to the cleanup for another couple of days.
If I say so myself, the wedding ceremony went really well. There were some fun moments, some contemplative moments, some serious moments, which all led to a simple, sweet event that my daughter seemed happy with, and that was my intent. Of course all of this was made possible by my wife's six month, intense wedding gathering, my wife's cousin's coordination skills (she missed her only son's high school playoff game to coordinate my daughter's wedding, I can't tell you how humbling it is to have someone love us that much and that graciously. There was not a single negative word or look or moment because she was missing a huge moment in her life. Wow.) And my daughter bet me I would lose it in the ceremony. I did not lose it at the ceremony, and fortunately the bet did not carry over to the reception.
At the reception, they announced the bride and groom as they came in, thunderous applause, and they went straight to the dance floor for their "first dance." There is no recollection of what the song was, I remember it being sweet and nice. But what I really remember is the face of my youngest. As she danced with her new husband there was such a display of emotion. Her face was simply radiant with her love, the only other time I remember the intensity of that emotion was watching my wife hold each of our grandbabies for the first time, cooing with love as she drank in the enormity of this new life. My youngest was crying, then smiling, then laughing, then staring at the man she had just married, almost like she couldn't believe the gift of love handed to her. It was as if this moment had been preserved from the begining of time for them, and them alone.
As they danced, the thought that came to my mind was that this job, this creation and nurturing of a life entrusted to me and my bride was a job truly done well. Like coming to the end of long and challenging journey, it was nice to see that the result was far better than we had hoped or even imagined. And so, yes, it choked up this old daddy's heart. I had fastened that knot as securely as I could, not with the words in the ceremony, but with the partnership with my bride, with the example of living through tough times, of loving each other when one or both of us was unlovable, of showing the best side we could of commitment in the face of adversity. In dancing a "first dance" that will never end.
If the bet included the reception, I lost miserably, and I lost gladly. There is nothing wrong with letting the heart flow, it is God's gift to us.
Godspeed, my littlest chick, may the dance never end.
Don
If I say so myself, the wedding ceremony went really well. There were some fun moments, some contemplative moments, some serious moments, which all led to a simple, sweet event that my daughter seemed happy with, and that was my intent. Of course all of this was made possible by my wife's six month, intense wedding gathering, my wife's cousin's coordination skills (she missed her only son's high school playoff game to coordinate my daughter's wedding, I can't tell you how humbling it is to have someone love us that much and that graciously. There was not a single negative word or look or moment because she was missing a huge moment in her life. Wow.) And my daughter bet me I would lose it in the ceremony. I did not lose it at the ceremony, and fortunately the bet did not carry over to the reception.
At the reception, they announced the bride and groom as they came in, thunderous applause, and they went straight to the dance floor for their "first dance." There is no recollection of what the song was, I remember it being sweet and nice. But what I really remember is the face of my youngest. As she danced with her new husband there was such a display of emotion. Her face was simply radiant with her love, the only other time I remember the intensity of that emotion was watching my wife hold each of our grandbabies for the first time, cooing with love as she drank in the enormity of this new life. My youngest was crying, then smiling, then laughing, then staring at the man she had just married, almost like she couldn't believe the gift of love handed to her. It was as if this moment had been preserved from the begining of time for them, and them alone.
As they danced, the thought that came to my mind was that this job, this creation and nurturing of a life entrusted to me and my bride was a job truly done well. Like coming to the end of long and challenging journey, it was nice to see that the result was far better than we had hoped or even imagined. And so, yes, it choked up this old daddy's heart. I had fastened that knot as securely as I could, not with the words in the ceremony, but with the partnership with my bride, with the example of living through tough times, of loving each other when one or both of us was unlovable, of showing the best side we could of commitment in the face of adversity. In dancing a "first dance" that will never end.
If the bet included the reception, I lost miserably, and I lost gladly. There is nothing wrong with letting the heart flow, it is God's gift to us.
Godspeed, my littlest chick, may the dance never end.
Don
Monday, December 1, 2008
Final Countdown
We are T-5 days to wedding. Almost everything is done, flowers arranged, cake bought, dress fitted (Carrie's, not mine) tuxes rented, reception planned (not yet paid for), everything from bow-ties for the little ring-bearers to arrangements for all the families.
All done but one small thing....decide what to say in the ceremony. You see, I'm officiating at the wedding (my youngest tells me we are saving money by not having to pay a real preacher.)
Here's the thing. My bride and I have spent the last 24 years filling this girl's head with all the advice, warnings, tidbits, scripture, prayers that we could think of. What is left to say?
I think the last, best thing to say to her and our future son-in-law is that we love them, we are terribly proud of them, will help in any way we can, but the road from here on out is theirs to travel. There will be times when we all travel along as a group, but there will be times when the road is theirs alone, to navigate as they see fit.
The problem is that I am still a daddy. How do you turn loose, even when the young man is incredible in so many ways. How do you let your pack slide to the ground, help adjust hers, then watch her round the bend, on her own. She will have the brave, confident stride that her two older siblings had, she will handle the challenges with strength and courage and integrity, just like her sister and brother have done. But it is still a struggle to watch and realize that this part of my life is, in many ways, over and the perils are real.
But, I pick up my pack, because my journey is not yet over. There are still miles to go, steps to take. I know that because of the choices each of my kids have made in selecting a spouse my journey is richer, the joy is increasing.
And besides, now I have some grandaddying to do. A slightly different road, a little more gently rolling than the daddying trail, but filled with the same expectation.
So it is Godspeed to all you daddys out there, finding the same bend in the road.
Don
All done but one small thing....decide what to say in the ceremony. You see, I'm officiating at the wedding (my youngest tells me we are saving money by not having to pay a real preacher.)
Here's the thing. My bride and I have spent the last 24 years filling this girl's head with all the advice, warnings, tidbits, scripture, prayers that we could think of. What is left to say?
I think the last, best thing to say to her and our future son-in-law is that we love them, we are terribly proud of them, will help in any way we can, but the road from here on out is theirs to travel. There will be times when we all travel along as a group, but there will be times when the road is theirs alone, to navigate as they see fit.
The problem is that I am still a daddy. How do you turn loose, even when the young man is incredible in so many ways. How do you let your pack slide to the ground, help adjust hers, then watch her round the bend, on her own. She will have the brave, confident stride that her two older siblings had, she will handle the challenges with strength and courage and integrity, just like her sister and brother have done. But it is still a struggle to watch and realize that this part of my life is, in many ways, over and the perils are real.
But, I pick up my pack, because my journey is not yet over. There are still miles to go, steps to take. I know that because of the choices each of my kids have made in selecting a spouse my journey is richer, the joy is increasing.
And besides, now I have some grandaddying to do. A slightly different road, a little more gently rolling than the daddying trail, but filled with the same expectation.
So it is Godspeed to all you daddys out there, finding the same bend in the road.
Don
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