I Hate This...

Last Thursday I made a mental mistake and backed my bride's Blazer into our garage door while it was still in the process of opening. The day had been a particularly ugly one and I simply forgot that the door takes a little while to go up or down. So as I backed out of the garage there was that grinding pop, as the door kicked off the rails. No damage to the car. So the door had to be tied in the closed position for security sake. We were now forced to go through the back yard and in the back door. Not huge, but a constant reminder that I had a brain hiccup and it would cost me money to get it fixed.

So I called a local guy to come fix the door. Now if you don't know how these things work let me just say that it all hinges on a large spring over the garage door, with a LOT of tension that drives the entire thing. Let me also say that if you were to unleash all that tension with all the metal rods attached..well, it would leave a mark.

Anyway, I made the comment that I was going inside to work and he could handle it himself. My final comment was a humorous attempt to let him know that I did not want be in there if something went wrong and that spring came unsprung at the wrong moment. That comment started a 10 minute story about how he wouldn't work on the spring for the first 8 years he was in this business! Come to find out he was as afraid of those things as I was! Really? You are afraid of the primary component of your livelihood? How can this be? I scurried out of there when he slowed down on the story, mumbling something about having to get back to my laptop.

But this is probably not all that uncommon. Most sales people have to fight what is known as call reluctance. I would guess there are dentists who hate to deal with cavities, teachers who would love their jobs if it weren't for the kids, preachers who love to preach, but hate to study, doctors who can't stand the sight of blood. Politicians who love to campaign, but hate to govern. We know this exists but what caught me off guard was the simple honesty of this guy in admitting it. As one who has had numerous interviews over the past 18 months, I have had to find creative ways of telling a potential employer that I love strategic planning, vision-casting, start-up and development, and execution of the plan...I hate maintenance. I have discovered over the decades that I need a great maintainer at my side to keep the entire thing running. What I have also discovered is that God built far more maintainers than he did entrepreneurs. He is a wise God. What he didn't build are HR people who understand various strengths. I have gotten good at maintenance, I just hate it. The same can be said for the dentist who can still drill and fill, the teachers who tolerate the kids, preachers who find a way to shorten the study cycle, doctors who have found good nurses, and politicians who have found really good staff members who can govern. We all accommodate our own weaknesses. And we soldier on.

The garage door now works better than before (and is quieter) Now my bride can park in the garage. Now I can set my frustration over a brain hiccup to the side and move on. All because some guy overcame his fear of springs with enormous tension, and fixed my mistake.

Godspeed to all those who have some key ingredient in their work that they hate. There is someone out there who loves that part, find them and make them your partner.

Don

Catching Up

This has been a crazy week. I will probably post on most of the events later when I have more time.

This week is in Houston, which might become a habit. The company I am working with is furnishing a 1-bedroom condo, rather than hotels every night. This is preferred because I can cook my own food, etc. The condo was "fully" furnished..except for trashcans, silverware, cooking utensils, paper towels, tp, bathmats, TV, Wi-Fi, coffee maker, dish drying rack (no dishwasher), any lights or light fixtures in the bedroom, or beddng. To be fair they told me to bring bedding which I did along with towels and kitchen towels. Other than that it was just as they told me. The condo is within walking distance of Reliant Stadium which rests on the old Astrodome location. Apparently Panera nor Starbucks find this to be a valuable location, none in sight. I will say that with no TV or Internet, it is very quiet in that condo, and my kids will appreciate the fact that when there is no one to talk to..I get a little restless.

Working with the company I am in the "wart finding" mode. Technology not where I was told it would be, no inventory systems, no production forecasting or planning; shipping incomplete, scattered customer base, and internal territorial battles, this is my kind of place. Spent Monday night developing a model stock position and am getting resistance from the guy who is supposed to be in charge of this. I bet him lunch that if my system can't get the back order % down less than 3%, then we can go back to his system which is running 11%. So far he has not taken me up on the bet.

Started back in on my deeper disciplines of study and meditation. No TV will do that for you. I started with Mark, only through the first few verses, but already insight is cropping up. God has a nasty way of pointing out my dark thoughts with scripture. The wilderness has been my home for the past couple of years. Mark says that Jesus, after his baptism went into the desert where he spent time with wild animals and angels. In my journal I noted that the wild animals in my life were bitterness and anger, while the angels were our dear friends who have supported us through this. Reflection is not for the faint hearted.

So now I leave the only Starbucks I could find to go back to tilting at windmills.

Godspeed, hope this message in a bottle finds you all well.
Don

36 and Counting

36 years ago today, my bride and I tied the knot. Apparently it was tied pretty tight. It is a moment in time that I look back down the trail and realize that the journey has been twisting and winding through tough terrain and sometimes easy footing. There have been chills and spills, laughter and tears, fights and loving, and there has been one single person by my side every single step of the way.

When I look back at the wedding pictures of this very young couple it strikes me that we had little to foreshadow the journey that would be ours. There was a brashness in my take on life, and a long-suffering trust by my bride that I could make it work out. I wish I could say that her trust has been affirmed, but in reality her trust was simply a part of her nature and less a knowledge of my abilities. We were young and strong and passionate about life and each other. I have joked over the intervening years that the young couple pictured in the wedding photos died in childbirth. But in reality the young couple still lives just in older, scarred, somewhat less naive bodies.

We have had our share of fights, some of them lasting months and years. There have been moments when one or both of us was unlovable, yet we kept on loving. At times we both wanted to leave, but the obstinate commitment we both cling to would not allow it. Some of the nights have been long and frightful where we would hold each other and cry into the dark, the storm battering our lives, only to wake to a new day with fresh resolve to overcome.

But there has also been a lot of laughter, at ourselves, at life in general. We have been blessed with kids who love to laugh and have brought us new kids through their marriages who love to laugh. It is with great contentment that I watch around a dinner table, all our kids make fun of each other, kid each other about funny events, mock battles over little things like thermostat controls, how to season food, interests that each hold. It is in these moments that I glance at my bride and realize that this bonus, this blessing is because she and I love each other still. I love it when she laughs at the craziness that these 6 adults and 4 (going on 5) little ones bring to us.

It is the reward for a life lived in commitment to a vow we made all those years ago. You see I think love comes and goes. Sometimes this marriage thing is no fun at all. But when two people tie that knot and commit to the relationship then the bounty that comes is worth all the bumps and bruises.

We are smarter now, a little less naive. There is not much we haven't been through, death of parents, illness of children, broken hearts over disappointment, and a constant search for a God of discernment. Yet, we still love the future. We can't wait to see what the world has in store for our little ones. There is no one I would rather grow old with than my bride of 36 years.

Godspeed to those who are just starting the journey, it is a ride that simply can't be explained. For those who started the journey about the time we did, I pray your journey has been as good as ours. For those ahead of us on the trail, it is a joy ti watch your love grow. It gives us courage.
Don

New and Old Words

This past weekend was a good one for the word-eaters in the world. There were two words that came to the surface. One is real, one is, well, manufactured.

Hyper-correctionists:
We may start a club of H-C. It is the people who correct all spelling and grammar, mis-statements, mis-speaks, etc. The word came up because I couldn't understand why we don't say the "l" in salmon. We pronounce it sam'en (the "e" should be upside down) Apparently the French screwed it up because they didn't pronounce the "l" in their word for the fish..or the color. Anyway, the hyper-correctionists went through some mental gymnastics and added it in. Some nonsense about "l" being silent when followed by an "m" or "d" or whatever. It is my goal to start another movement to get the "l" out of our words! Our bumper sticker would say, "Get the L Out!"

The other word is Tubicle (pronounced toob-ikle). It is where we will all work and play and live in the future. At birth we will be strapped into our tubicle, annodes attached. Then we will travel and learn and live and play inside our tubicle. Eyes taped shut, white noise to cover the emmanations from any neighboring tubicle. Womb to tomb in our tubicle. This is the only way we will be able to find and serve the all allusive god of Security.

The hyper-correctionists are already dissecting the above paragraph. I should have put something in the previous paragraph and laying and lying, or is it lieing? They could have a field day.

Godspeed, remember that the words you use mean something...unless you make them up.
Don

Customized Religion

In the USA Today there is an article that illustrates a lot if what is wrong and right in the industry of religion. Using the polling data of George Barna (long time religious pollster, author of several books) He tracks the basic tenets of the christian world-view and how people shift their views from one decade to the next.

What do you think?
In a typical week, U.S. adults who say they:
Read Bible outside the church:
1991: 45%
2011: 40%
Volunteered at church:
1991: 27%
2011: 19%
Attended adult Sunday school:
1991: 23%
2011: 15%
Attended worship:
1991: 49%
2011: 40%

Those who say they:
Accept Jesus and expect to be saved:
1991: 35%
2011: 40%
Call Bible "totally accurate" in all principles:
1991: 46%
2011: 38%
Define God as all-knowing, all-powerful ruler:
1991: 74%
2011: 67%

This is quote from the article:
Barna blames pastors for those oddly contradictory findings. Everyone hears, "Jesus is the answer. Embrace him. Say this little Sinners Prayer and keep coming back. It doesn't work. People end up bored, burned out and empty," he says. "They look at church and wonder, 'Jesus died for this?'"

I think this is a little harsh on the pastors. It is my view that the culture has changed so fundamentally that we regard all organizations be it government, school, home, or church to be basically flawed and unable to respond to the needs and desires of the individual. The above findings are not a rejection of all things spiritual, quite the contrary. If you delve a little deeper into the stats and dialogue with those who have stepped away from organized religion, you will find people who care deeply about their beliefs and their spiritual walks. They simply are not buying into the ability or motivation of the located church to achieve those goals.

My bride and I are probably typical of what is going on (lest you think all this erosion of the influence of the organizational churches lie with the young) We regularly attend a located church, but do so because a majority of our little community of faith show up there most Sundays. But we tithe (when we have income to tithe with) to an assortment of faith-based groups. We donate time and energy to Habitat for Humanity. We engage our neighbors in fellowship which leads to a sharing of our lives and their lives in spiritual "talk". We each follow our own spiritual discipline routine. This is all independent of the located organization. We have been dis-enfranchised by the located church, but we have not felt that this has deeply impacted our spiritual walk. In fact, it is the opposite. We have found that it has made us more appreciative of deep thinking and relevant conversation. This view is rampant in the next few generations below us. It encourages me that these younger generations are willing to look beyond the traditions and look for relevance in their lives. They are willing to embrace the "organic" nature of spiritual living and perfectly willing to reject the formulated, organizational church.

Anyway, interesting reading.

Godspeed, we don't need more churches, we need more spirit-walkers.
Don

He Knows My Name

I have a Maker
He formed my heart
Before even time began
My life was in his hands

I have a Father
He calls me His own
He'll never leave me
No matter where I go

He knows my name
He knows my every thought
He sees each tear that falls
And He hears me when I call

It is my experience that we all have moments in our lives that I call "wilderness time". It is time spent removed from the pace and flurry of all we find familiar. There have been a couple of these moments in my life. They can last for years, at least they have for me. The past couple of years has been wilderness time for me.

These wilderness moments do not reflect a loss of desire to follow the One. In fact, it is usually a time of incredible pursuit, of learning to live with the thundering silence, of living the disciplines when there is little or no reward. But it is also a time of great discernment, a time of learning, a time of appreciating the path not the goal.

But we are not led out of these moments in a dazzling flash of insight. There is no "aha" moment that signals the end of the wilderness time. There is no sudden thrust into the "busy-ness" of religious or secular life. I have found that it is a slow awakening. This past weekend I watched my youngest grandson try to wake from a long afternoon nap, snuggled close to his momma's neck, arms folded in close to her as he tried to make that transition from deep sleep to awake and interaction. It is this analogy of slowly finding our way back into the flow of life and service that marks the end of the wilderness time.

In the same way as my grandson, I find myself slowly transitioning back. As stressful as the wilderness time can be, it is still the moment that I find myself in. So I want to move slowly to make sure it is happening. When you have been through the time you begin to see and understand the early signs that the wilderness time is coming to an end. You can again perceive the words and warnings of others. My dear friends this weekend pointed out that my sense of humor was coming back, but it is still a little caustic. Only close and good friends can point that out and get away with it, and they were right. When one is still in the wilderness, you do not catch these early signs.

The song above has been on my mind for 2 days now. A sign that the wilderness is thinning a bit. I can hear the sounds of social civilization. You see part of the wilderness time is the thundering silence of God. I believe that the song is stuck in my head by Him. He knows my name..He knows my every thought..He sees each tear over the last couple of years..and He hears me when I call and cry and am left without words..

He knows my name..

Godspeed
Don

Hope, Sometimes Visitor

This was written almost 3 months ago

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life."

I ran across this quote in my disciplines and pondered it for quite some time. Each of the major words speak to me and this story that I find myself in. You see, I find myself in a spot where hope has been deferred, it has been set aside by evidence that shakes what I had envisioned as the remainder of my life. I had hoped that things would work out quickly. I had hoped that this disruption would produce different results. But I have learned that hope and faith are two different things. Faith can be fostered. It can be grown. I can manage faith. Hope has a life of its own. Hope is subject to critical evaluation of what is happening and following the thought string out to the end. When the results of that pursuit lead to diminished result, hope suffers. I am finding that hope wanders in and out of my day and my life at will. I struggle with the concept of "losing all hope" except in the very short term because hope will return, sometimes on a whim. It would make more sense to me to say that I don't know where hope is right now, it is not lost, it is just not visiting me at the moment.

Faith is the discipline of living a life that expects hope to return. It may not be today or tomorrow, but it will return. We live expecting the hope that is our promise to resurface. I often confuse the two. This past year has opened my eyes to possibility that while I cling to and nurture my faith through the disciplines, that hope is a serendipity that shows up and confirms the faith that I have jealously guarded. Do you realize that the rabbi (often confused as a carpenter) spoke and cajoled and reprimanded endlessly on faith and never once mentioned hope? He knew that if we focused on our faith that hope would follow when the faith is confirmed. Look it up, hope ain't there in the Stories.

When I go through a tough, extended time of stress, it is my faith that gets the most work. The questions of what and how and when are filtered through the prism of my faith that it will all work out in the end. Hope is a faulty golf swing, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

If you know someone struggling with this work/career/destiny thing, encourage them in their faith. I can only DO what I have been told is faithful, not particularly hopeful.

By the way, the quote above was from the guy we all say was "wise" Of course he had dozens of wives and concubines, so go figure.

Godspeed, keep the faith, bro.
Don