36 and Counting

36 years ago today, my bride and I tied the knot. Apparently it was tied pretty tight. It is a moment in time that I look back down the trail and realize that the journey has been twisting and winding through tough terrain and sometimes easy footing. There have been chills and spills, laughter and tears, fights and loving, and there has been one single person by my side every single step of the way.

When I look back at the wedding pictures of this very young couple it strikes me that we had little to foreshadow the journey that would be ours. There was a brashness in my take on life, and a long-suffering trust by my bride that I could make it work out. I wish I could say that her trust has been affirmed, but in reality her trust was simply a part of her nature and less a knowledge of my abilities. We were young and strong and passionate about life and each other. I have joked over the intervening years that the young couple pictured in the wedding photos died in childbirth. But in reality the young couple still lives just in older, scarred, somewhat less naive bodies.

We have had our share of fights, some of them lasting months and years. There have been moments when one or both of us was unlovable, yet we kept on loving. At times we both wanted to leave, but the obstinate commitment we both cling to would not allow it. Some of the nights have been long and frightful where we would hold each other and cry into the dark, the storm battering our lives, only to wake to a new day with fresh resolve to overcome.

But there has also been a lot of laughter, at ourselves, at life in general. We have been blessed with kids who love to laugh and have brought us new kids through their marriages who love to laugh. It is with great contentment that I watch around a dinner table, all our kids make fun of each other, kid each other about funny events, mock battles over little things like thermostat controls, how to season food, interests that each hold. It is in these moments that I glance at my bride and realize that this bonus, this blessing is because she and I love each other still. I love it when she laughs at the craziness that these 6 adults and 4 (going on 5) little ones bring to us.

It is the reward for a life lived in commitment to a vow we made all those years ago. You see I think love comes and goes. Sometimes this marriage thing is no fun at all. But when two people tie that knot and commit to the relationship then the bounty that comes is worth all the bumps and bruises.

We are smarter now, a little less naive. There is not much we haven't been through, death of parents, illness of children, broken hearts over disappointment, and a constant search for a God of discernment. Yet, we still love the future. We can't wait to see what the world has in store for our little ones. There is no one I would rather grow old with than my bride of 36 years.

Godspeed to those who are just starting the journey, it is a ride that simply can't be explained. For those who started the journey about the time we did, I pray your journey has been as good as ours. For those ahead of us on the trail, it is a joy ti watch your love grow. It gives us courage.
Don