It seems most Sundays I find myself on the praise team at church for early service. The coordinator switches me from tenor to bass, depending on what she needs at the moment. I think I am one of the few guys that can sing either moderately well, but not excel at either one. But I do enjoy the camaraderie and the moment to sing with a group of folks who all enjoy the music and each other. The group assembles a few at a time and it seems there is a certain amount of visiting that goes on while the mikes are tested and sound is mixed, etc. However, I like to sing. So this past Sunday I insisted we all warm up on a few of my favorites ( I sang tenor, so I pushed for a couple of songs that had really fun tenor parts) The song that jumped to my mind was a simple little song, with simple words, and a really fun tenor line.
Nothing can wash away my sin.
Nothing can wash away my sin.
Nothing can wash away my sin.
Nothing..nothing...nothing but the blood of Jesus.
The verses shift to:
Nothing can bring me peace with God.
and so on.
For the last two days I have reflected on the significance of my disciplines that do not spend a lot of time surrounding the reality of the words in the song. By the way, I believe all the words of this simple little song, but somewhere along the line I have come to grips with the fact that "sin management" is not the intent of the mission. Sin management requires that we look back to a time when sin governed all that I did and said. It no longer has that kind of sway over my life. Of course I still sin, of course I still seek to make my own way, of course I forge ahead without the guidance and will of the Creator. But sin no longer has the ability to undermine my hard fought faith. My sin disappoints me, it slows me down, it defeats me with regularity, but it does not cause me to dwell on its' significance. It has been defeated, washed away as the song says by an event 2000 yeas ago. Why dwell on it? Sin no longer holds my fascination. The focus now is on relationship.
When I lived on the farm years ago. We had to move irrigation pipe, marching from one side of the pasture to the other in 40' increments. On the numerous occasions I had to handle this chore alone, I had to line up the pipe in 20 or 30 separate segments. Which meant unhooking from the pipe ahead and carrying this 30' piece of pipe across 40' and re-hooking to the one ahead of it in line. If I looked back at the previous pipe just set in position and determine if the entire line was straight, I would end up with a crooked mess that would make a snake envious. But if I picked a point at the end of the pasture that was roughly 40' from the end pipe, the line was straight and true. I had to line it up with where I was going, not where I had been.
When we continue to dwell on the sins of the past we end up wandering all around in our lives and never really putting down a pipeline that is straight and true. I am not sure why so many preachers focus on this single topic, except that it surfaces guilt and guilt surfaces response. But it inhibits true spiritual growth.
The focus, the aim of the pipeline is relationship. When we look to simply forge the most direct line to Jesus or the Creator, or whatever term you find comfortable, we focus forward. We look to the future of what this relationship can and should look like. We become free to live a life of hope and purpose and mission. This future then becomes the "peace with God" this simple little song sings about.
Godspeed, not sure why this has been on my mind, but there it is.
Don
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
A Little Slow
I just recently I came across a quote that struck a chord within me.
"I am slow to learn and slow to forget that which I have learned. My mind is like a piece of steel, very hard to scratch anything on it and almost impossible after you get it there to rub it out."
To be brutally honest, I am a slow learner. Ask my bride. It was never much of a badge of honor; and a quality that is not highly respected in our culture. No one ever says, "He is a hard worker and he is a slow learner. We love that about him!" Usually the comment is a little less glowing and uttered with a certain amount of frustration. When will he catch on? A mental picture of a football squad waiting impatiently at the end of the agility run waiting for the slow kid to catch up seems to be the best illustration.
But there are a few things that are best learned slowly.
We live in a culture seeking immediate answers to every question. This must be a the root of the dysfunctional political climate. These guys only have 4/6/8 years to fix problems that have festered for decades. And they must fix them with an eye on reelection for the next go around. None of these factors lend themselves to long term reflection, to learning slowly.
Religion is perhaps the gravest offender of trying to learn quickly in the face of blindingly quick societal changes. By the time a book is published on how to do "church" it is out of date, swept away by generations that have already rejected the premise.
Education carries the greatest responsibility, but the rants are common and justified by my teacher-daughters/bride about the disconnect between applying modern solutions to age-old problems. It takes years to implement and like religion, is long past effectiveness by the time it is in the classroom.
A bit of self confession here. I was not a good student. Now my kids can blame me when their kids are a little slow and place blame where it belongs. My running joke all these years was that I finished in the top 75% of my high school class. For a joke to be really funny it has to have an element of truth...
But what I learn is there for good. I was always ashamed of my poor performance in school. Learning for me was a chore. Math is still a mystery to me and the higher math is especially confounding. The softer disciplines I enjoyed, but still struggled because the conclusions by the teachers I found mundane. It wasn't until years later while being tested in a job interview that it was discovered that I scored in the top 2% of the testing group for inductive reasoning. Deductive reasoning is taught in school, inductive is not. So I had to sit for additional testing to see how this happened. At least in my head this explained why normal linear logic seemed dull to me. It took me a while to understand the difference. Inductive reasoning also is a long course result, not a step by step process.
My point here is that some learning has to have time to work. Spiritual disciplines (which drive so much of my life) are measured in decades, not moments. Development of moral and ethical approaches to culture or business come about through years of experience and meditation. My bride and kids and kids-in-law all get exasperated when on long distance drives I do not listen to the radio, but sit and "think". It is my slow cooker learning process. Almost all of them want to ride in the other car.
Finally it occurred to me that we need both kinds of learners, slow and fast, deductive and inductive, logical and intuitive, short term and long term. You see I think the "slow learners" are the visionaries, the vision casters. We may not be the best at writing employee handbooks, but we are the best at inspiring the troops to look beyond today's problems to tomorrow's promises.
Godspeed to all the slow folks out there, what we bring to the table may be the best yet. By the way, the quote above was by Abraham Lincoln about himself in the book Team of Rivals. I take some comfort in that.
Don
"I am slow to learn and slow to forget that which I have learned. My mind is like a piece of steel, very hard to scratch anything on it and almost impossible after you get it there to rub it out."
To be brutally honest, I am a slow learner. Ask my bride. It was never much of a badge of honor; and a quality that is not highly respected in our culture. No one ever says, "He is a hard worker and he is a slow learner. We love that about him!" Usually the comment is a little less glowing and uttered with a certain amount of frustration. When will he catch on? A mental picture of a football squad waiting impatiently at the end of the agility run waiting for the slow kid to catch up seems to be the best illustration.
But there are a few things that are best learned slowly.
We live in a culture seeking immediate answers to every question. This must be a the root of the dysfunctional political climate. These guys only have 4/6/8 years to fix problems that have festered for decades. And they must fix them with an eye on reelection for the next go around. None of these factors lend themselves to long term reflection, to learning slowly.
Religion is perhaps the gravest offender of trying to learn quickly in the face of blindingly quick societal changes. By the time a book is published on how to do "church" it is out of date, swept away by generations that have already rejected the premise.
Education carries the greatest responsibility, but the rants are common and justified by my teacher-daughters/bride about the disconnect between applying modern solutions to age-old problems. It takes years to implement and like religion, is long past effectiveness by the time it is in the classroom.
A bit of self confession here. I was not a good student. Now my kids can blame me when their kids are a little slow and place blame where it belongs. My running joke all these years was that I finished in the top 75% of my high school class. For a joke to be really funny it has to have an element of truth...
But what I learn is there for good. I was always ashamed of my poor performance in school. Learning for me was a chore. Math is still a mystery to me and the higher math is especially confounding. The softer disciplines I enjoyed, but still struggled because the conclusions by the teachers I found mundane. It wasn't until years later while being tested in a job interview that it was discovered that I scored in the top 2% of the testing group for inductive reasoning. Deductive reasoning is taught in school, inductive is not. So I had to sit for additional testing to see how this happened. At least in my head this explained why normal linear logic seemed dull to me. It took me a while to understand the difference. Inductive reasoning also is a long course result, not a step by step process.
My point here is that some learning has to have time to work. Spiritual disciplines (which drive so much of my life) are measured in decades, not moments. Development of moral and ethical approaches to culture or business come about through years of experience and meditation. My bride and kids and kids-in-law all get exasperated when on long distance drives I do not listen to the radio, but sit and "think". It is my slow cooker learning process. Almost all of them want to ride in the other car.
Finally it occurred to me that we need both kinds of learners, slow and fast, deductive and inductive, logical and intuitive, short term and long term. You see I think the "slow learners" are the visionaries, the vision casters. We may not be the best at writing employee handbooks, but we are the best at inspiring the troops to look beyond today's problems to tomorrow's promises.
Godspeed to all the slow folks out there, what we bring to the table may be the best yet. By the way, the quote above was by Abraham Lincoln about himself in the book Team of Rivals. I take some comfort in that.
Don
Thursday, February 20, 2014
We Know All Too Well..
Yesterday I followed an interesting FB conversation between a well-intentioned guy and a defensive gal. As the guy kept posting I kept thinking to myself, "Dude, stop digging, the hole is getting too deep to get out of." About that time he simply said he was going to stop talking. Finally.
The topic was prompted by a lady who posted something about being nostalgic when seeing older couples who have been married for 50+ years and how sweet and admirable that is in today's culture. She went on to say that they had of course had tough times and weak moments, but had somehow persevered through it all to the promised land of the golden years. It was a kind enough post and certainly didn't seemed accusatory of anyone.
But as I read the back and forth from the two who read the post and were impacted in completely opposite ways, it occurred to me that even the most innocuous comment can have unexpected consequences. The guy had a long marriage with a lot of trauma and was grateful for the steadfastness of his wife for all the trouble, and for her faithfulness in that time. The lady felt that she had tried and tried and had finally pitched it all in to save what she could of herself and her family. She felt the article was an indictment of her failure and the post raised the regret that never lurks far from the surface. And there is significant truth in her perspective. There is no way the guy or me to understand the complete devastation that this calamitous event causes. We can guess, we can conjecture, we can even empathize, but we can't know; not the deep, soul-bruising, crushing, suffocating first hand knowledge.
But having logged 38 years in this particular journey there are a few things that I do know.
- Long-marrieds know all too well how tenuous the bond is that they agreed to all those years ago. Better than anyone we know that it was not some unbounded love. In fact, I will tell you with full assurance and openness that there are years, yes, I said YEARS, where love has disappeared with no guarantee that it would return. There were long periods of time when one or both of us were unlovable.
- Long-marrieds know that the fight is never over. It settles down some when the major wars have been fought (career wars, sex wars, money wars, teen wars,.....) I think at some level we learn that it is simply too exhausting to keep battling when it is easier to let a lot of things slide. After about 40 years of age, almost no one changes. Neither partner is perfect, both are annoying in their own way, both see the ironies in the other but not in themselves, and neither is going to change much. But by year 35 or so both are so arm-weary that they let the gloves drop a little. Long term marriages are made up of two very tough-minded people, this trait never goes away. They have to work it out.
- Long-marrieds know that having kept this tenuous union together this long is not a matter of skill, or perfect love, or intelligence, or even faith. It is kept together by a curious combination at various times of pure, dumb luck and a deep-seated exasperating stubbornness. There is a saying that surviving soldiers are not necessarily heroic, but lucky. The divide is not skill, but luck...
- And somewhere along the line we all learn that we each live "Plan B" (I've written about this in another blog, so the idea is not new to my faithful few readers) We each think at various times that this was not what I bargained for. This was not the marriage that I dreamed of during the wedding rehearsals. This marriage has at least one (and the designated person isn't always the same one) partner that says and/or does the wrong thing. This was not the deal I signed up for.
- And long-marrieds have learned that there is not a greater feeling in the world than to realize that the person they sleep next to every night is the one person in the world that has gone through every battle, suffered every disgrace, had their back day in and day out, wept with through the long and lonely nights, clung to when the storms of life have conspired to tear them apart, held them when there was nowhere else to turn. They realize that this has been the partner in the journey where the greatest highs were shared, the deepest and most intimate love was enjoyed, where the greatest accomplishments were partnered. But the longer they have been married, the less they take this for granted.
So when we see these folks holding hands, or grabbing a quick kiss, the hands are scarred and tired, and the lips have said some ugly things. But these two souls are hoping to finish the race even though the track took them places they never would have imagined. And they feel great empathy towards others who could not finish the race as they had imagined in the beginning. It is not my intent to point out how much better anyone is than anyone else, it is my point to say that really good people get crushed in this marriage deal, and really bad people sometimes fair better than they deserve. Long-marrieds know this all too well..
Godspeed, to all the long-marrieds, to the just started-outers, to those who have had to revision their future.
Don
The topic was prompted by a lady who posted something about being nostalgic when seeing older couples who have been married for 50+ years and how sweet and admirable that is in today's culture. She went on to say that they had of course had tough times and weak moments, but had somehow persevered through it all to the promised land of the golden years. It was a kind enough post and certainly didn't seemed accusatory of anyone.
But as I read the back and forth from the two who read the post and were impacted in completely opposite ways, it occurred to me that even the most innocuous comment can have unexpected consequences. The guy had a long marriage with a lot of trauma and was grateful for the steadfastness of his wife for all the trouble, and for her faithfulness in that time. The lady felt that she had tried and tried and had finally pitched it all in to save what she could of herself and her family. She felt the article was an indictment of her failure and the post raised the regret that never lurks far from the surface. And there is significant truth in her perspective. There is no way the guy or me to understand the complete devastation that this calamitous event causes. We can guess, we can conjecture, we can even empathize, but we can't know; not the deep, soul-bruising, crushing, suffocating first hand knowledge.
But having logged 38 years in this particular journey there are a few things that I do know.
- Long-marrieds know all too well how tenuous the bond is that they agreed to all those years ago. Better than anyone we know that it was not some unbounded love. In fact, I will tell you with full assurance and openness that there are years, yes, I said YEARS, where love has disappeared with no guarantee that it would return. There were long periods of time when one or both of us were unlovable.
- Long-marrieds know that the fight is never over. It settles down some when the major wars have been fought (career wars, sex wars, money wars, teen wars,.....) I think at some level we learn that it is simply too exhausting to keep battling when it is easier to let a lot of things slide. After about 40 years of age, almost no one changes. Neither partner is perfect, both are annoying in their own way, both see the ironies in the other but not in themselves, and neither is going to change much. But by year 35 or so both are so arm-weary that they let the gloves drop a little. Long term marriages are made up of two very tough-minded people, this trait never goes away. They have to work it out.
- Long-marrieds know that having kept this tenuous union together this long is not a matter of skill, or perfect love, or intelligence, or even faith. It is kept together by a curious combination at various times of pure, dumb luck and a deep-seated exasperating stubbornness. There is a saying that surviving soldiers are not necessarily heroic, but lucky. The divide is not skill, but luck...
- And somewhere along the line we all learn that we each live "Plan B" (I've written about this in another blog, so the idea is not new to my faithful few readers) We each think at various times that this was not what I bargained for. This was not the marriage that I dreamed of during the wedding rehearsals. This marriage has at least one (and the designated person isn't always the same one) partner that says and/or does the wrong thing. This was not the deal I signed up for.
- And long-marrieds have learned that there is not a greater feeling in the world than to realize that the person they sleep next to every night is the one person in the world that has gone through every battle, suffered every disgrace, had their back day in and day out, wept with through the long and lonely nights, clung to when the storms of life have conspired to tear them apart, held them when there was nowhere else to turn. They realize that this has been the partner in the journey where the greatest highs were shared, the deepest and most intimate love was enjoyed, where the greatest accomplishments were partnered. But the longer they have been married, the less they take this for granted.
So when we see these folks holding hands, or grabbing a quick kiss, the hands are scarred and tired, and the lips have said some ugly things. But these two souls are hoping to finish the race even though the track took them places they never would have imagined. And they feel great empathy towards others who could not finish the race as they had imagined in the beginning. It is not my intent to point out how much better anyone is than anyone else, it is my point to say that really good people get crushed in this marriage deal, and really bad people sometimes fair better than they deserve. Long-marrieds know this all too well..
Godspeed, to all the long-marrieds, to the just started-outers, to those who have had to revision their future.
Don
Wednesday, February 12, 2014
What a Shame
Philip Seymour Hoffman died about a week ago of an overdose. There has been memorials, testimonies by other celebrities, a general shake of the head of a culture and the muttered, "What a shame." And it is a shame. He was talented, he had a certain level of fame, it appears he was a kind and loving father, he was unassuming in his neighborhood in NYC. But he dies prematurely due to a series of poor choices. It wasn't cancer. The plane did not fall out of the sky. A gunman didn't take him down in a shopping center. He bought the drugs, he prepped the drugs, and he stuck the needle in his arm. And he died by his own hand. Even as I write this it sounds cruel, unforgiving. That is not my intent. You see, I think we all die a bit by our own hand.
We are the sum of our decisions. It is as simple as that. As I reflect on my now almost 60 years I can point to a few key decisions that changed my life forever. Who I married has given me great joy. It could have turned out so differently if I had chosen someone else. Playing out that decision resulted in children who have brought me joy and comfort and sleepless nights. But it was the result of the first decision. Career choices have been marked as good and bad, but would I be in the spot I am now if any one of those decisions had been different? Because each one presented an array of options that I picked and followed the path. So I am sum of those decisions.
You may be thinking, "But wait, I didn't choose the cancer/divorce/slick road/bad boss" But you did choose the responses to all those things. While the event may have been random, your response was not. And we are formed by the decisions in the midst of those trials, not by the trials. Just in the past couple of years have I realized that my attitude, my demeanor is a result of my decisions. There are a couple of terms that I learned while getting my Masters. Orthodoxy is what we believe in our heads. Orthopraxy is what we do with what we believe. Orthodoxy drives or forms orthopraxy. In other words, what we really believe is what we live. Our decisions are a reflection of what we believe. We can't act our way to better thinking, we think our way to better acting. Religion and self-help gurus and diet plans all get this wrong. Until we decide in our heads, it will never lastingly apply to our actions.
Each of us die a little by our own hand. For me it is insecurity about my place in the world, for you it may be a bitterness about your childhood, or for another it may be a addiction. But our decisions about whatever the circumstance, if the decision is harmful, is from our own hand. And it is a shame.
I think the Creator looks down and wants the best for us, but allows us to make our own decisions, to live and die as a result of our own thinking. That is why so much emphasis is on "faith" the embodiment of our thinking, our decisions.
Godspeed to all on the journey. We each decide the journey's course, the backpack we will carry, and the companions we will travel with.
Don
We are the sum of our decisions. It is as simple as that. As I reflect on my now almost 60 years I can point to a few key decisions that changed my life forever. Who I married has given me great joy. It could have turned out so differently if I had chosen someone else. Playing out that decision resulted in children who have brought me joy and comfort and sleepless nights. But it was the result of the first decision. Career choices have been marked as good and bad, but would I be in the spot I am now if any one of those decisions had been different? Because each one presented an array of options that I picked and followed the path. So I am sum of those decisions.
You may be thinking, "But wait, I didn't choose the cancer/divorce/slick road/bad boss" But you did choose the responses to all those things. While the event may have been random, your response was not. And we are formed by the decisions in the midst of those trials, not by the trials. Just in the past couple of years have I realized that my attitude, my demeanor is a result of my decisions. There are a couple of terms that I learned while getting my Masters. Orthodoxy is what we believe in our heads. Orthopraxy is what we do with what we believe. Orthodoxy drives or forms orthopraxy. In other words, what we really believe is what we live. Our decisions are a reflection of what we believe. We can't act our way to better thinking, we think our way to better acting. Religion and self-help gurus and diet plans all get this wrong. Until we decide in our heads, it will never lastingly apply to our actions.
Each of us die a little by our own hand. For me it is insecurity about my place in the world, for you it may be a bitterness about your childhood, or for another it may be a addiction. But our decisions about whatever the circumstance, if the decision is harmful, is from our own hand. And it is a shame.
I think the Creator looks down and wants the best for us, but allows us to make our own decisions, to live and die as a result of our own thinking. That is why so much emphasis is on "faith" the embodiment of our thinking, our decisions.
Godspeed to all on the journey. We each decide the journey's course, the backpack we will carry, and the companions we will travel with.
Don
Wednesday, January 22, 2014
1st Amendment
This morning I read in USA Today that blogs are protected under the 1st Amendment. That comes as a huge relief. A lawsuit could wind up on my doorstep at any time because of this blog. However, I think it would require a certain number of people to READ the blog to run that risk. My following on this journey is small, but loyal. A few comments along the way, most positive. A few emails referencing the blog, most...ummm....with a differing view point. But as I have said all along, I write for me, for me to articulate thoughts and ideas, dreams and hurts, doubts and fears. Sometimes it seems to strike a chord with folks.
But I had not considered this blog a liability in any way. Partly because I have a few rules that I apply when writing:
1. It has to be something that has been triggered recently. There can be events, or ideas, or interactions that spin my head in a certain direction that seems worthwhile to me. So I write it down.
2. This is a constant reminder for me to reread the post and make sure that I have not embarrassed anyone. Sometimes events in others lives prompt me to write, but it would embarrass them. So I choose to either mask the thought in very general terms, or I ask permission, or I write the post, but don't publish.
3. I try not to attack anyone because, as my bride points out, they can't defend themselves. And while I may feel quite justified, it is not a fair fight when I have the only pulpit.
So I write what impacts me and my life and add dash of perspective and arrive at a thought that may be a bit undercooked or overcooked, but sometimes tasty anyway.
But what strikes about the public discourse today is the lack of discernment, the lack of wisdom. The right attacks the left, lights attack the dusky, the word-eaters attack the number-crunchers, the tall against the short, the thin vs the thick, the them against the us. No one brings to the conversation the ability to empathize, to understand, to discuss. We are all so intent on yelling out our position that we lose sight of the opportunity that others might have some genuine, well thought out perspectives. If I can listen and understand their point of view at an emotional level, then it makes it easier to adapt my view to a more common ground.
I wish this were true within small segments of our society, but it seems to inflict all moments of our lives together. Church, government, education, health care, transportation, marriage, familial, all are impacted with this lack of discernment. This little blog tries to find a moment when I can bring all sides to a conversation without anyone yelling at each other. The biggest challenge is to keep myself from entering the fray and causing more disinformation or distrust.
Besides, I have no money, so it wouldn't do any good to sue me anyway.
Godspeed, lets have a kind word out there.
Don
But I had not considered this blog a liability in any way. Partly because I have a few rules that I apply when writing:
1. It has to be something that has been triggered recently. There can be events, or ideas, or interactions that spin my head in a certain direction that seems worthwhile to me. So I write it down.
2. This is a constant reminder for me to reread the post and make sure that I have not embarrassed anyone. Sometimes events in others lives prompt me to write, but it would embarrass them. So I choose to either mask the thought in very general terms, or I ask permission, or I write the post, but don't publish.
3. I try not to attack anyone because, as my bride points out, they can't defend themselves. And while I may feel quite justified, it is not a fair fight when I have the only pulpit.
So I write what impacts me and my life and add dash of perspective and arrive at a thought that may be a bit undercooked or overcooked, but sometimes tasty anyway.
But what strikes about the public discourse today is the lack of discernment, the lack of wisdom. The right attacks the left, lights attack the dusky, the word-eaters attack the number-crunchers, the tall against the short, the thin vs the thick, the them against the us. No one brings to the conversation the ability to empathize, to understand, to discuss. We are all so intent on yelling out our position that we lose sight of the opportunity that others might have some genuine, well thought out perspectives. If I can listen and understand their point of view at an emotional level, then it makes it easier to adapt my view to a more common ground.
I wish this were true within small segments of our society, but it seems to inflict all moments of our lives together. Church, government, education, health care, transportation, marriage, familial, all are impacted with this lack of discernment. This little blog tries to find a moment when I can bring all sides to a conversation without anyone yelling at each other. The biggest challenge is to keep myself from entering the fray and causing more disinformation or distrust.
Besides, I have no money, so it wouldn't do any good to sue me anyway.
Godspeed, lets have a kind word out there.
Don
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
Intercessory Prayer
Big word. Simply put, it means that one person is praying to God for another person. In the tribe that I was raised in it can have a variety of meanings. The problem is that my tribe has never really put a lot of actual stock in the disciplines (unless you count arguing as a spiritual discipline, then we are spiritual titans). We talk a lot about prayer, we read and write a lot about prayer, we even make a pretty good show of it when we are all together to pray, but when you really pin someone down (me included) it becomes evident that we would rather do all the above than actually pray.
The other issue is that when we say to someone, "I am praying for you." what we are actually saying is that we are "thinking" about them. Or, we wish we had the discipline to sit down, carve out the silent and solitude it actually takes to delve deeply in prayer. Or it could mean we hit it a glancing blow before we eat. Not often do we mean that we are going to go to our knees, clench our mind around the fact that someone dear to us needs someone to stand in God's presence and plead their case. This is a bold move and runs its own set of risks for the prayer as well as the prayee.
The other issue is the passage we quote "The prayers of the righteous man availeth much" See, I can't even quote it without using King James English. The question that came to my mind several years ago when I started the spiritual journey "What if the guy praying is not actually righteous?" Hmmm. Could the prayer do more harm than good? Does the indictment of the unrighteous then fall on the one who is hurting? Besides, we have a sort of cultural bent that says if enough of us pray we can somehow influence God and his handling of the situation. If I can get enough folks (odds say some of them have to be righteous, right?) praying, then God pretty much has to bend towards public opinion, right? So we develop these prayer campaigns on FB, Email, church bulletins, etc. etc. and somewhere in our hearts feel that the simple quantity will get the job done. Quantity and some quality have to have the desired effect, right?
Here's the problem. I've seen it go both ways. I have lost a mother who had thousands of people praying for her. I've had a daughter suffer and survive the big C, three times. I have grandbabies that could be pointed to as results of prayers, and I have seen others who have nothing to show for the hours spent on knees.
So here is my big conclusion. Prayer probably does not change the heart of God, it changes the heart of the one praying. My prime proof text is the prayer in the garden, a son, a request, a denial. That prayer changed the heart of our savior, not the heart of the One who held the plan. It changes us in the most fundamental ways. I believe it is God's way of shifting our views and provides the proper forum for introspection.
All of this has changed my approach to "praying for others" First and foremost, I keep my list very short. Usually I only pray for one or two people at a time, but those prayers are linked to deep study and meditation. And it is every day for whatever time is needed. I try not to be flip about telling someone that I am spending time in prayer for them. If they seem to have a battalion of prayer helpers they do not need my help. Which leads me to the second shift in my thinking.
I know better than anyone else the level of my faith. It is meager at best. There is a reason that I refer to myself as a functional skeptic, with the higher emphasis on skeptic, not functional. The prayers of the skeptic are hard to articulate and I wonder how God receives them. The start of my prayers are always an appeal to God to not hold my hardheadedness against the one for whom I am praying, they have enough problems. It seems to me that a lot of people walk around with these enormous suitcases full of faith. They have an abundance. I seem to have mine in a flimsy WalMart bag. Tiny flecks of faith that were hard earned. In the past I was one of those who trailed a big bag of faith behind me, not realizing that it could be yanked from my hands and rifled through and confiscated like a TSA agent in the airport. This is important because faith is the fuel of prayer.
So I am careful in my prayers for someone. Some might say miserly, but there is only a few flecks of faith, and I am the 4 year old child of God who constantly asks, "Why?" The list is short these days, with only a name or so on it. What little faith is being expended is expended for this one or two. I agonize over the results of these prayers.
Godspeed to the faithful, to the ones who pray, for the ones who need prayers, for the one who answers prayers.
Don
The other issue is that when we say to someone, "I am praying for you." what we are actually saying is that we are "thinking" about them. Or, we wish we had the discipline to sit down, carve out the silent and solitude it actually takes to delve deeply in prayer. Or it could mean we hit it a glancing blow before we eat. Not often do we mean that we are going to go to our knees, clench our mind around the fact that someone dear to us needs someone to stand in God's presence and plead their case. This is a bold move and runs its own set of risks for the prayer as well as the prayee.
The other issue is the passage we quote "The prayers of the righteous man availeth much" See, I can't even quote it without using King James English. The question that came to my mind several years ago when I started the spiritual journey "What if the guy praying is not actually righteous?" Hmmm. Could the prayer do more harm than good? Does the indictment of the unrighteous then fall on the one who is hurting? Besides, we have a sort of cultural bent that says if enough of us pray we can somehow influence God and his handling of the situation. If I can get enough folks (odds say some of them have to be righteous, right?) praying, then God pretty much has to bend towards public opinion, right? So we develop these prayer campaigns on FB, Email, church bulletins, etc. etc. and somewhere in our hearts feel that the simple quantity will get the job done. Quantity and some quality have to have the desired effect, right?
Here's the problem. I've seen it go both ways. I have lost a mother who had thousands of people praying for her. I've had a daughter suffer and survive the big C, three times. I have grandbabies that could be pointed to as results of prayers, and I have seen others who have nothing to show for the hours spent on knees.
So here is my big conclusion. Prayer probably does not change the heart of God, it changes the heart of the one praying. My prime proof text is the prayer in the garden, a son, a request, a denial. That prayer changed the heart of our savior, not the heart of the One who held the plan. It changes us in the most fundamental ways. I believe it is God's way of shifting our views and provides the proper forum for introspection.
All of this has changed my approach to "praying for others" First and foremost, I keep my list very short. Usually I only pray for one or two people at a time, but those prayers are linked to deep study and meditation. And it is every day for whatever time is needed. I try not to be flip about telling someone that I am spending time in prayer for them. If they seem to have a battalion of prayer helpers they do not need my help. Which leads me to the second shift in my thinking.
I know better than anyone else the level of my faith. It is meager at best. There is a reason that I refer to myself as a functional skeptic, with the higher emphasis on skeptic, not functional. The prayers of the skeptic are hard to articulate and I wonder how God receives them. The start of my prayers are always an appeal to God to not hold my hardheadedness against the one for whom I am praying, they have enough problems. It seems to me that a lot of people walk around with these enormous suitcases full of faith. They have an abundance. I seem to have mine in a flimsy WalMart bag. Tiny flecks of faith that were hard earned. In the past I was one of those who trailed a big bag of faith behind me, not realizing that it could be yanked from my hands and rifled through and confiscated like a TSA agent in the airport. This is important because faith is the fuel of prayer.
So I am careful in my prayers for someone. Some might say miserly, but there is only a few flecks of faith, and I am the 4 year old child of God who constantly asks, "Why?" The list is short these days, with only a name or so on it. What little faith is being expended is expended for this one or two. I agonize over the results of these prayers.
Godspeed to the faithful, to the ones who pray, for the ones who need prayers, for the one who answers prayers.
Don
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
300
Wow! Three hundred posts! Of course it took me 5 years, I could have written several books in that time. But man has this been a ride. Almost an entirely new set of grandkids (to go along with the blue chip ones I already had) One new son-in-law, to go along with the blue chip in-law kids I already had. 5 more years with my life-long love, my beautiful bride. Lots of ups and downs, hopefully some laughs, a few tears, some grumbling, and little griping. A wonderful journey, the pack is an old friend and a welcome companion.
But we are born to move forward. It jolts me each time I read on FB or on posts, or in snail mail that someone my age is turning it in. They are going to "retire". I have to count up in my head how old I am and wonder where the years went. But I also admit with a certain belligerence that I am not ready to retire, I am not ready to "settle down." There is something in my nature that makes me want to move forward and not necessarily towards any certain goal line, but because that is what I do. We start out looking to the next phase in our lives, from toddlers to preteens, to teenage years, to young adult, to middle-age, to....now. I don't want to stop and smell the roses, they have thorns. I want to cinch up the pack and see what is around the next bend, see the next vista, drink in the new opportunities.
It is part of my nature to wonder what is next. As my bride will tell you with a certain exasperation that I like new ideas, new thoughts, new directions. Adventure is just ahead and ready to be grappled with and once subdued allowed to get up and start the match over again.
But I have learned a few things on the journey thus far.
It is more important who you live/work/deal with than the number of digits on the check or in the checkbook.
Your greater regrets are about things you didn't do, than what you did do.
No one got to the end of their lives and wished they had worked more.
The traits that drive you crazy in other people are probably the traits that drive others crazy dealing with you.
As this blog has always stated: Your greatest strength is also your greatest weakness.
There is a great uncounting, we are driven towards it whether we want to be or not. How we spend that great uncounting is determined here where it is all counted.
Your "firsts" are more memorable than your "lasts". Your "lasts" are more haunting.
And last, but not least, He Knows My Name.
Godspeed. Here's to the next 300, may they be done in a shorter length of time.
Don
But we are born to move forward. It jolts me each time I read on FB or on posts, or in snail mail that someone my age is turning it in. They are going to "retire". I have to count up in my head how old I am and wonder where the years went. But I also admit with a certain belligerence that I am not ready to retire, I am not ready to "settle down." There is something in my nature that makes me want to move forward and not necessarily towards any certain goal line, but because that is what I do. We start out looking to the next phase in our lives, from toddlers to preteens, to teenage years, to young adult, to middle-age, to....now. I don't want to stop and smell the roses, they have thorns. I want to cinch up the pack and see what is around the next bend, see the next vista, drink in the new opportunities.
It is part of my nature to wonder what is next. As my bride will tell you with a certain exasperation that I like new ideas, new thoughts, new directions. Adventure is just ahead and ready to be grappled with and once subdued allowed to get up and start the match over again.
But I have learned a few things on the journey thus far.
It is more important who you live/work/deal with than the number of digits on the check or in the checkbook.
Your greater regrets are about things you didn't do, than what you did do.
No one got to the end of their lives and wished they had worked more.
The traits that drive you crazy in other people are probably the traits that drive others crazy dealing with you.
As this blog has always stated: Your greatest strength is also your greatest weakness.
There is a great uncounting, we are driven towards it whether we want to be or not. How we spend that great uncounting is determined here where it is all counted.
Your "firsts" are more memorable than your "lasts". Your "lasts" are more haunting.
And last, but not least, He Knows My Name.
Godspeed. Here's to the next 300, may they be done in a shorter length of time.
Don
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