Wilderness Time

Have you spent a good portion of your time feeling left out? Maybe it was more of a feeling of the world sort of passing you by. Perhaps there is a frustration that your life is filled with trivia and meaningless effort. It seems there are days that turn into weeks that extend into years where everything you do seems to have little or no meaning.
This is only compounded by the fact that you are trying to remain faithful to your belief that by practicing the disciplines that those would draw you close, that God would reward your efforts. Does any of this sound familiar?

I have been through those times. I will go through those times again. I have just recently been through it. It is hard and can develop a real sense of helplessness.
I use a term in my own life to describe it. Wilderness Time. It is not separation due to sin (as in particular sin) It is not due to lack of effort, or faithful response. It is, I believe, simply a matter of the human condition. We ARE separated from the Spiritual "I AM". This is a fact of our life. In fact, the moments of feeling close are far more rare than the feeling of separation.

The problem is that this condition sparks some unhealthy reactions.
1. We try to hide it. In our dealings with other folks (in particular other believers) we put on a good face and soldier on. Honesty takes a beating at this moment. We need people who can articulate the "separateness" and not be ashamed that the struggle is at times overwhelming. When we try to hide it, it gives the deceiver great power. The only way to combat the side effects is the discipline of confession. Admitting spiritual dryness is not the sin, covering the dryness and being covert in our frustration is a huge problem.
2. We tend to really come down on ourselves. We are a results oriented society. I just worked for a guy that said, "I don't pay people for effort, I pay them for results." Now, if the results weren't up to his standards then he criticized the effort..hmm. What I mean by this is that the results for disciplines and journey are usually long term. We rarely see the results close in. So, it is at these times that we need to tap the brakes a little and realize that we often can't see the outcome at the moment.
3. We can come to the conclusion that the spiritual disciplines don't work. We tend to just heave the entire deal. Which only sends us into a life time of disillusionment.

Wilderness time is a time of settling. Every major character in the old book had a wilderness time. Abraham, Moses, David, Isaiah, Jesus, Paul..the list goes on and on. Every one of these guys outlines the feeling of despair and frustration. However, they all came back to the famous conclusion.."where else can we go?" Besides, I think wilderness time makes the intimate times more powerful.

Godspeed, if you are wandering a little, it is okay. Love and intimacy will come your way. Cinch the backpack a little tighter and keep moving, the path will lead you home,

Don