Yesterday I had one of those golden moments with my eldest grandson. He and two of my other grandchildren rode with me to the family reunion in Dublin, Tx and he was instructed by his mother (who rode in the other car with 3 adults and only one of the grandkids) to stay off his iPhone. Phoebe had her headphones on and had worm-holed her way into some musical. Lincoln was tuned into the 18th showing of Berenstein Bears. Eli mostly obeyed and really his mother left him with me, the one who has long since left the disciplining to the parents who thought these kids were a great idea. I am just along to lend a little humor and perspective.
So when we rolled through Glen Rose and Fossil Rim, we got to talking about dinosaurs and T-Rexs and mastodons and all things dinosaur-ish. We talked about the different "enes" with Jurassic dominating the conversation. But the conversation really took an interesting turn when I asked him, "What do you think about the Bible not mentioning these animals at all?" For the next few minutes we talked about the early chapters of Genesis and I mentioned a few theories that I had studied while getting my masters, when he said the most amazing thing.
"I think the dinosaurs happened before the bible, then God started the bible, (and this is the place where my mind was blown) and after that is finished he will start another bible"....
I looked at him trying to get my mind around the implications of that thought. Then looked at the road, then back at him, road, him. He had said it with such nonchalance, such assurance of thought. It had never ever occurred to me that this experiment we call humanity might simply be a phase of God's cosmic timeline. Yet this 12 year old, this cherished boy, this young man who has great athletic ability, strong in math, weak in reading, could easily get his mind around a concept as profound as he had just simply stated. There will be those of you who will see the true miracle here, I was speechless.
Think about the implications of this simple theory. What does this do to our science vs religion debate? What does this do to most of our philosophical "ologies"? End times debate becomes a much different conversation. And as often happens in my head the thought strings started going in all directions. Rex's peeking through the knothole in the fence in heaven (because you know they will keep us all separated) and wondering, "Who are those puny little creatures and how did they get here? God let them in?" Then centuries later, we are looking over the fence and wonder how the new "chosen" are so tiny that a universe of them fit on the surface of a golfball. Plus they look like mold. And on and on and on. It is only the human's arrogance that deludes us into believing that we are the end of the work that is called GOD. After all, we claim he is eternal. You think he wants to spend eternity with only us? Just look at the current debates on FB and I don't want to spend eternity with us.
This thought will keep me going for months. And it was uttered by a 12-yr-old boy who would rather be playing on his iPhone than talking to me. Humility comes in all forms.
Godspeed to all you grandparents out there. These grandkids are more than just little people to be spoiled. They bring insight and understanding and mind blowing new thoughts. Wow, just wow.
Don
Sunday, June 28, 2015
Thursday, June 25, 2015
The Force Is Strong..
At a certain point in our lives we experience a portion of the journey that seems mundane. We get up, go to work, work, go home, go to bed.. Hit reset, do the same tomorrow. The world becomes routine and the people are always the same. There is certain blandness to the entire deal.
But every once in a great while we have something happen that gets the juices flowing. It can be something that starts another leg of the journey or it could be a split second of adventure.
Yesterday I was driving to work in my 2005 Blazer. I had gotten a late start due to a dust up between my youngest daughter's dog, newly named Knucklehead, and a donkey. Of course as I write that last sentence I realize that may be the better blog post. Focus is going to be an issue today. So the drive was a little different because I took a route that I normally avoid due to traffic. But today, because of my late start, I was clanking along at 50mph minding my own business and drinking my Starbucks. I was in the left hand lane as the highway was about to merge with another main highway. Suddenly I realized that out of nowhere someone's hubcap had come off and was spinning in my direction.
Now this hubcap was normal hubcap size, but I could see the little clips that are supposed to lock it onto the wheel spinning at highway speeds. And this is where my imagination kicks in. As I registered the enormous and seemingly unavoidable spinning wheel of death heading towards me at supersonic speeds, I found myself channeling an odd mix of Neo and Luke. The Blazer and I had only micro-seconds to bend ourselves (remember that now all this is in slow motion) away from the whirling blades of destruction. A dodge to the left onto the shoulder, a readjustment to the right to miss the barrier, a snap of a glance at the projectile as it spun past the copilot window, and then safely past the ominous danger. I looked ahead to find the enemy vehicle and spotted a beat up, small, white sedan. It was the moment of coming back to earth. It was simply a ride to work. Sigh.
In reality I probably looked a lot more like Po, and less like Neo. But the great things about imagination is that you can look any way you want. You can channel whatever you want. You can live in a world of danger and intrigue and wonder. For a moment your adrenals get this great workout, leaving the little guys in your adrenal glands clasping their hamstrings from the sudden effort. For a few minutes longer you get to enjoy the rush of adrenaline and be the star in your own movie. Perhaps we should have a little moment like this every day. Maybe it would alert us to the fact that life should be lived with a good load of adrenaline.
So I survived the attack. But I still had to park in my spot at work. Heft my backpack into my office. And begin the day dealing with unimaginative people and situations I had dealt with for years. Neo and Luke and even Po had to come inside and finish the paperwork.
But for one split second...the Force was with me...
Godspeed, to those who still live an exciting life, even if it is only in their head.
Don
But every once in a great while we have something happen that gets the juices flowing. It can be something that starts another leg of the journey or it could be a split second of adventure.
Yesterday I was driving to work in my 2005 Blazer. I had gotten a late start due to a dust up between my youngest daughter's dog, newly named Knucklehead, and a donkey. Of course as I write that last sentence I realize that may be the better blog post. Focus is going to be an issue today. So the drive was a little different because I took a route that I normally avoid due to traffic. But today, because of my late start, I was clanking along at 50mph minding my own business and drinking my Starbucks. I was in the left hand lane as the highway was about to merge with another main highway. Suddenly I realized that out of nowhere someone's hubcap had come off and was spinning in my direction.
Now this hubcap was normal hubcap size, but I could see the little clips that are supposed to lock it onto the wheel spinning at highway speeds. And this is where my imagination kicks in. As I registered the enormous and seemingly unavoidable spinning wheel of death heading towards me at supersonic speeds, I found myself channeling an odd mix of Neo and Luke. The Blazer and I had only micro-seconds to bend ourselves (remember that now all this is in slow motion) away from the whirling blades of destruction. A dodge to the left onto the shoulder, a readjustment to the right to miss the barrier, a snap of a glance at the projectile as it spun past the copilot window, and then safely past the ominous danger. I looked ahead to find the enemy vehicle and spotted a beat up, small, white sedan. It was the moment of coming back to earth. It was simply a ride to work. Sigh.
In reality I probably looked a lot more like Po, and less like Neo. But the great things about imagination is that you can look any way you want. You can channel whatever you want. You can live in a world of danger and intrigue and wonder. For a moment your adrenals get this great workout, leaving the little guys in your adrenal glands clasping their hamstrings from the sudden effort. For a few minutes longer you get to enjoy the rush of adrenaline and be the star in your own movie. Perhaps we should have a little moment like this every day. Maybe it would alert us to the fact that life should be lived with a good load of adrenaline.
So I survived the attack. But I still had to park in my spot at work. Heft my backpack into my office. And begin the day dealing with unimaginative people and situations I had dealt with for years. Neo and Luke and even Po had to come inside and finish the paperwork.
But for one split second...the Force was with me...
Godspeed, to those who still live an exciting life, even if it is only in their head.
Don
Wednesday, June 3, 2015
What If...?
There is a current debate and more then a little angst swirling around the data showing that the religious institution called "church" is eroding. It is clear indication from the number of attendees to the number of located churches that are diminishing that the institution is in decline. We can argue the finer points of this statement, but all the indications, which are numerous, point to a slow and agonizing death.
Along with the analysis of the data is the following concerns. Whom to blame and what can we do seem to be garnering a lot of the conversation. And the list for blame is extensive from the current entrenched leadership to the ungrateful young people and all in between seems to grow by the day. We have developed terms to catalog the different sections of this erosion, "Dones" and "Nones" and "Fringe" and "unchurched" all are marked as contributors to this demise.
A much shorter list is the "what can we do" column. It is, in fact, blank.
We blame the current leaders and assign them the motives of power hungry old guys. Almost without exception we say, "Individually they are nice guys, but as a group, they are to blame." My instinct tells me that it is easy to blame a group of men, but when we put someone's face to it that we know and love and respect, then we need an out. Thus the above statement.
The Dones and Nones have just said, "Screw it, we're out" and have left the building. Even though they/we still stand in the parking lot and toss religious rocks at the windows. It is much easier to stand outside and feel religiously superior to having to quash our natural instincts for argument and trying to help.
Young people of every generation have been on the road to hell since Cain knocked Abel to the ground and tried to cover it up. Nothing new here. It's just that they are so smug in their indifference. Drives me crazy.
Each group has their own issues and their own preconceived ideas about how this works and they are all partially right and mostly wrong. We have also blamed the erosion of the moral fiber of our culture. The Dems and Repubs can't get along, Breeders and LGBT are at each other, the number crunchers and the word eaters, the left and the right, the white and the others, on and on and on. The slow, but accelerating descent has most of us gasping for breath. And the church has not kept up with all these events and factions.
So the church is declining because the few reasons above and blaming all above. But WHAT IF the simple reason for all of this is because we have missed an important element of God's mission. You see, we tend to believe the mission is a static. It is a level to be attained, or a position to be defended, or a bulls-eye in the middle of a target. But if the mission is constantly moving from here to there and onward, then the "spot" we fixate on will be behind the place where God is moving.
An analogy that occurred to me this morning was mobile phones (by using that term I realize I have just given an indication of my age). The first mobile phones were called mobile because we could move about with them. It was not easy because the battery pack was equivalent both in size and weight to a cinder block. You had to have a shoulder strap and be in relatively good shape just to carry them. And they only had one function, to make a call or send a call. That was it. And you had to remember the numbers (yes, kids, like in your head) to dial them up. Of course you never knew who the incoming call was until you answered. Scary by todays standards. I think what the church has done is put a death grip on the technology of the earliest mobile phones, believing that this is the spot in technology that God has ordained as the end of the mission. So church leaders clamp down on this spot in the technology, squinch their eyes shut , and brand anyone with newer technology as a heretic.
"But just look at this new IPhone 6, it can send and receive emails, it can play music, it can..."
"STOP, STOP, Leave me Alone, God wants us all to lug around this mobile phone!"
"Listen, if you will just try it.."
"You are from SATAN, this mobile is just the way God WANTS it! Get out! "
Dones and Nones: "Forget it, these guys are just trying to control us, they are power hungry and don't care about us"
Young people: " Is he ok? Weird."
The trajectory of technology forges onward, as does the mission of God. It is not his place to slow down and help find comfort in old doctrinal distinctives or even old theology. It is a mission and it will move forward at the pace that works for the mission. We must find ways to constantly shed ourselves of the old "technology" and embrace technology that matches the moment. Before my email blows up, yes I am familiar with the "same yesterday, today, tomorrow" view of God. But I do not believe this pertains to method or practice. It pertains to the Nature of God. He is and always will be love, compassion, truth, integrity, etc. But He has shown both in the old book and in ticking through the decades since a willingness to change His methods and means to accomplish His mission.
To the leaders: unclench a little, peek around a little and see if you can see the trajectory of the mission instead of the moment in time that provides the most comfort.
Nones and Dones: Give the leaders a break, instead of categorizing their current posture in the least favorable light, how about we understand their fear of letting go and their stomach churning responsibility towards the community of faith?
Young people: You are way ahead of us. New theology is second nature to you, it terrifying to us.
But lets drop the pretense about having ANY answers and lift our eyes to the blazing comet above us that is the mission of God and try to find our place in that trajectory. None of us will see the end, none of us saw the beginning, but we can ride along while we are here.
Godspeed to the Spirit walkers who help us see the blaze, and to the ones who have just enough faith to let go of the cinder block of old doctrine. It is a wild and crazy ride!
Don
Along with the analysis of the data is the following concerns. Whom to blame and what can we do seem to be garnering a lot of the conversation. And the list for blame is extensive from the current entrenched leadership to the ungrateful young people and all in between seems to grow by the day. We have developed terms to catalog the different sections of this erosion, "Dones" and "Nones" and "Fringe" and "unchurched" all are marked as contributors to this demise.
A much shorter list is the "what can we do" column. It is, in fact, blank.
We blame the current leaders and assign them the motives of power hungry old guys. Almost without exception we say, "Individually they are nice guys, but as a group, they are to blame." My instinct tells me that it is easy to blame a group of men, but when we put someone's face to it that we know and love and respect, then we need an out. Thus the above statement.
The Dones and Nones have just said, "Screw it, we're out" and have left the building. Even though they/we still stand in the parking lot and toss religious rocks at the windows. It is much easier to stand outside and feel religiously superior to having to quash our natural instincts for argument and trying to help.
Young people of every generation have been on the road to hell since Cain knocked Abel to the ground and tried to cover it up. Nothing new here. It's just that they are so smug in their indifference. Drives me crazy.
Each group has their own issues and their own preconceived ideas about how this works and they are all partially right and mostly wrong. We have also blamed the erosion of the moral fiber of our culture. The Dems and Repubs can't get along, Breeders and LGBT are at each other, the number crunchers and the word eaters, the left and the right, the white and the others, on and on and on. The slow, but accelerating descent has most of us gasping for breath. And the church has not kept up with all these events and factions.
So the church is declining because the few reasons above and blaming all above. But WHAT IF the simple reason for all of this is because we have missed an important element of God's mission. You see, we tend to believe the mission is a static. It is a level to be attained, or a position to be defended, or a bulls-eye in the middle of a target. But if the mission is constantly moving from here to there and onward, then the "spot" we fixate on will be behind the place where God is moving.
An analogy that occurred to me this morning was mobile phones (by using that term I realize I have just given an indication of my age). The first mobile phones were called mobile because we could move about with them. It was not easy because the battery pack was equivalent both in size and weight to a cinder block. You had to have a shoulder strap and be in relatively good shape just to carry them. And they only had one function, to make a call or send a call. That was it. And you had to remember the numbers (yes, kids, like in your head) to dial them up. Of course you never knew who the incoming call was until you answered. Scary by todays standards. I think what the church has done is put a death grip on the technology of the earliest mobile phones, believing that this is the spot in technology that God has ordained as the end of the mission. So church leaders clamp down on this spot in the technology, squinch their eyes shut , and brand anyone with newer technology as a heretic.
"But just look at this new IPhone 6, it can send and receive emails, it can play music, it can..."
"STOP, STOP, Leave me Alone, God wants us all to lug around this mobile phone!"
"Listen, if you will just try it.."
"You are from SATAN, this mobile is just the way God WANTS it! Get out! "
Dones and Nones: "Forget it, these guys are just trying to control us, they are power hungry and don't care about us"
Young people: " Is he ok? Weird."
The trajectory of technology forges onward, as does the mission of God. It is not his place to slow down and help find comfort in old doctrinal distinctives or even old theology. It is a mission and it will move forward at the pace that works for the mission. We must find ways to constantly shed ourselves of the old "technology" and embrace technology that matches the moment. Before my email blows up, yes I am familiar with the "same yesterday, today, tomorrow" view of God. But I do not believe this pertains to method or practice. It pertains to the Nature of God. He is and always will be love, compassion, truth, integrity, etc. But He has shown both in the old book and in ticking through the decades since a willingness to change His methods and means to accomplish His mission.
To the leaders: unclench a little, peek around a little and see if you can see the trajectory of the mission instead of the moment in time that provides the most comfort.
Nones and Dones: Give the leaders a break, instead of categorizing their current posture in the least favorable light, how about we understand their fear of letting go and their stomach churning responsibility towards the community of faith?
Young people: You are way ahead of us. New theology is second nature to you, it terrifying to us.
But lets drop the pretense about having ANY answers and lift our eyes to the blazing comet above us that is the mission of God and try to find our place in that trajectory. None of us will see the end, none of us saw the beginning, but we can ride along while we are here.
Godspeed to the Spirit walkers who help us see the blaze, and to the ones who have just enough faith to let go of the cinder block of old doctrine. It is a wild and crazy ride!
Don
Thursday, May 28, 2015
New Relational Assets
Over the past few years I have picked up "relational" assets I never had before. All my life I heard things like, "I'll have to call MY lawyer." Who keeps or needs a lawyer that they can identify and name? I don't have a lawyer. My eldest son-in-law is a lawyer, but that is way down on the list of identities he is to me. He is first and foremost the husband of my eldest daughter, and a very good one. More importantly he is the father of my first two grandkids, the ones who called me "granddaddy" before all others. And he is a spiritual man, a faithful man, and an industrious man. And somewhere down the line he is a lawyer, but he is not MY lawyer. (I've always had a little uncertainty about having him represent me in a legal battle. I'm sure there are things in the past 15 years or so that he was not happy with me about and as we all know payback is a b....well you know.)
But in the past few years I have picked up a few of these Assets. Did you know I now have a cardiologist? These are not cheap acquisitions. I see him more often than I do MY dentist. Hey there's another one, however, he is one of my dearest friends, so I'm not sure that counts. And day before yesterday I went to MY skin doctor. Ok, ok he is also distantly related and is far more to me and my family than the guy who bores holes in my scalp digging for who knows what. He claims he did not go very deep, but I suspect he was stunned at how thick the skull was. He is a plastic surgeon, but I keep him humble by having to deal with my body's ability to produce all sorts of weird looking skin bumps, lumps, and colorings. It does tickle me when he fusses at me for waiting to see him. He always asks the trick question, "How long have you had this?" Most of time I do not remember. I can identify when my bride pointed it out, but at my age and in my defense, the mirror is not my friend.
So what am I missing? Here is a short list of assets I need to work on.
Trainer - these people tend to be mean, see my blog post about "Boot Camp"
Therapist - Yes, I need one more person to ask me, "What is WRONG with you?"
Preacher- Another person telling me what IS WRONG with me!
Accountant - Hmm, not much to count.
Personal Physician - I actually have one that I never see. He seems preoccupied with my prostate.
Some of these I will never acquire. They are far more expensive than I have interest in paying.
But it also occurs me that there are a few professions we are a one time interaction, or just a part of our lives but not able to achieve the status as "MY" :
Funeral Home Director - you never hear anyone say that. This is a one and done.
Policeman - My policeman just sounds wrong.
Dry Cleaners Person - way too long a title.
So here I am at this stage of life, picking up all these relational assets with apparent ease. Who knew I would be so successful?
Godspeed to those out there who are just beginning to acquire the finer things in life, it is the true measure of success!
Don
But in the past few years I have picked up a few of these Assets. Did you know I now have a cardiologist? These are not cheap acquisitions. I see him more often than I do MY dentist. Hey there's another one, however, he is one of my dearest friends, so I'm not sure that counts. And day before yesterday I went to MY skin doctor. Ok, ok he is also distantly related and is far more to me and my family than the guy who bores holes in my scalp digging for who knows what. He claims he did not go very deep, but I suspect he was stunned at how thick the skull was. He is a plastic surgeon, but I keep him humble by having to deal with my body's ability to produce all sorts of weird looking skin bumps, lumps, and colorings. It does tickle me when he fusses at me for waiting to see him. He always asks the trick question, "How long have you had this?" Most of time I do not remember. I can identify when my bride pointed it out, but at my age and in my defense, the mirror is not my friend.
So what am I missing? Here is a short list of assets I need to work on.
Trainer - these people tend to be mean, see my blog post about "Boot Camp"
Therapist - Yes, I need one more person to ask me, "What is WRONG with you?"
Preacher- Another person telling me what IS WRONG with me!
Accountant - Hmm, not much to count.
Personal Physician - I actually have one that I never see. He seems preoccupied with my prostate.
Some of these I will never acquire. They are far more expensive than I have interest in paying.
But it also occurs me that there are a few professions we are a one time interaction, or just a part of our lives but not able to achieve the status as "MY" :
Funeral Home Director - you never hear anyone say that. This is a one and done.
Policeman - My policeman just sounds wrong.
Dry Cleaners Person - way too long a title.
So here I am at this stage of life, picking up all these relational assets with apparent ease. Who knew I would be so successful?
Godspeed to those out there who are just beginning to acquire the finer things in life, it is the true measure of success!
Don
Friday, May 22, 2015
Times, They are A'Changin'
Over the past few years I have had the opportunity to work with and manage young people (under 40). During that time I had a chance to sit with them as we drove from one appointment to another and visit about work, life, dreams, worries..the entire gamut of the human experience. And these visits have been concerning and enlightening and encouraging. It eventually comes up that these young people are no better at judging age than I am. Generally they all think I am younger than their parents, when in reality, usually I am older and sometimes by a good bit. It would do my ego much more good if I thought it was my youngish looks or my "hip" demeanor, but I think they just don't have a clue. So the immense pride is tempered. Of course I could start complaining about all the aches and pains. That would set them straight, but then they would compare me to their grandparents and that would not do my ego any good.
There are a couple of things I have learned about this group. Some of it is encouraging, some of it has me shaking my head, and some of it makes me a little jealous that my life does not contain some of their philosophy and approach.
One of the primary differences between them and me is the simple view of all things "organizational". My approach has always been to rely on the organization as the sole benefactor for my career, my marriage, my life. The generation I belong to relies heavily on the organization to care for and feed us, to give us purpose, to create a safe and nurturing harbor. In this I have been both generously rewarded and deeply wounded. It has only been in the past couple of years (by "couple" I mean 10-15) that I have seen and understood the tragic misperception this is. This younger crowd has a deep suspicion of all things "organizational". Their attitude is that they put up with the organization because it supplies a few of their basic needs. In their world if they could walk away from it, all we would see are heels and elbows. And this applies to politics, religion, business, marriage, nationalism..the list goes on and on.
And this is being played out at all levels of society. Corporations are having to completely overhaul their work structure to make sure they can retain some of these younger workers. I have lived right through the transition from the 9-5 workforce to the flex hours, the shared workload, the cross-training. A majority of this shift is positive. But the loss falls in the categories of employee loyalty, dedication etc. But the truth is that the corporations made the first move by shifting from corporate healthy workplace to corporate shareholder health. This younger generation understood long before my generation that this reality existed.
The most visually dramatic is the outflow of religious organizations. Ten years ago, if you were on the inside of the organization, you could hear the growing sucking sound of the younger generation leaving. It was like watching the tide run out, the water just never returned to same spot on the beach. It shifted further and further out. Unlike the phasic tide, this was a one-way shift. I've got news for the religious leaders, get a day job. They ain't coming back.
Marriage may be the most jarring organization that has been deemed unnecessary. I take great pride in the tenure of my marriage (almost 40 years) and to the credit of my bride the quality of our life together. And the young crowd will slow clap this accomplishment, while shaking their heads in puzzlement. And they are staying away from this organization in droves. The number of sales people I manage who are living with their significant other far outnumbers the ones that have gotten married. And while I might be tempted to point out to them the error of their ways it occurs to me that they have a far different understanding of this than I do. I think it is this one element of the "gay marriage" debate that the youngsters just don't get. They are a little puzzled why we (breeders) would heap such condemnation on those wanting to get married within their gender, when they are completely willing to ignore the concept altogether. Which makes me wonder why the religious leaders aren't dog-piling on them instead of the "gay marriage" crowd. At least the "gay marriage" crowd agrees with us that marriage is important! Maybe we need to realign our angst with anybody who agrees with us on marriage. We have been fussing at the wrong group all along! Nothing new here.
But the other important shift is the willingness to help. They are deeply moved by causes that help people. Their willingness to align themselves with less fortunate, to fight the injustice that corporate America has created. I think this may be why Facebook is such a valuable tool to span the gap between their generation and mine. It allows me to peer into their world, without judgment, and acknowledge that they may have a point. But the moment we olders try to develop a little organization around their causes...they are out. And this is what drives my crowd nuts. We can't handle the chaos, the freedom of allowing other opinions, the tolerance and dissonance that actually defines their world. If I point out their inconsistent views, they simply shrug their shoulders and withdraw from the conversation.
So here is my simple solution. My generation needs to come to grips with the fact that the organizations we hold dear are dead already. We will keep them running for the time we are still here because we have the money to do so, but these kids are going to outlast us. They will grieve when are gone, but they will not feel compelled to sustain the organizations we hold so dear. My solution is spend whatever time I have left in helping them with the relational issues we all face. To help them understand that indeed the needs of the one, outweigh the needs of the many (scripture, by the way, please don't tell them) So while I still have a voice I will encourage them to be honest, to have fun, to cherish words like integrity, compassion, and perseverance. To love with abandon.
Godspeed to the kids on the block. I think you will make this a better place.
Don
There are a couple of things I have learned about this group. Some of it is encouraging, some of it has me shaking my head, and some of it makes me a little jealous that my life does not contain some of their philosophy and approach.
One of the primary differences between them and me is the simple view of all things "organizational". My approach has always been to rely on the organization as the sole benefactor for my career, my marriage, my life. The generation I belong to relies heavily on the organization to care for and feed us, to give us purpose, to create a safe and nurturing harbor. In this I have been both generously rewarded and deeply wounded. It has only been in the past couple of years (by "couple" I mean 10-15) that I have seen and understood the tragic misperception this is. This younger crowd has a deep suspicion of all things "organizational". Their attitude is that they put up with the organization because it supplies a few of their basic needs. In their world if they could walk away from it, all we would see are heels and elbows. And this applies to politics, religion, business, marriage, nationalism..the list goes on and on.
And this is being played out at all levels of society. Corporations are having to completely overhaul their work structure to make sure they can retain some of these younger workers. I have lived right through the transition from the 9-5 workforce to the flex hours, the shared workload, the cross-training. A majority of this shift is positive. But the loss falls in the categories of employee loyalty, dedication etc. But the truth is that the corporations made the first move by shifting from corporate healthy workplace to corporate shareholder health. This younger generation understood long before my generation that this reality existed.
The most visually dramatic is the outflow of religious organizations. Ten years ago, if you were on the inside of the organization, you could hear the growing sucking sound of the younger generation leaving. It was like watching the tide run out, the water just never returned to same spot on the beach. It shifted further and further out. Unlike the phasic tide, this was a one-way shift. I've got news for the religious leaders, get a day job. They ain't coming back.
Marriage may be the most jarring organization that has been deemed unnecessary. I take great pride in the tenure of my marriage (almost 40 years) and to the credit of my bride the quality of our life together. And the young crowd will slow clap this accomplishment, while shaking their heads in puzzlement. And they are staying away from this organization in droves. The number of sales people I manage who are living with their significant other far outnumbers the ones that have gotten married. And while I might be tempted to point out to them the error of their ways it occurs to me that they have a far different understanding of this than I do. I think it is this one element of the "gay marriage" debate that the youngsters just don't get. They are a little puzzled why we (breeders) would heap such condemnation on those wanting to get married within their gender, when they are completely willing to ignore the concept altogether. Which makes me wonder why the religious leaders aren't dog-piling on them instead of the "gay marriage" crowd. At least the "gay marriage" crowd agrees with us that marriage is important! Maybe we need to realign our angst with anybody who agrees with us on marriage. We have been fussing at the wrong group all along! Nothing new here.
But the other important shift is the willingness to help. They are deeply moved by causes that help people. Their willingness to align themselves with less fortunate, to fight the injustice that corporate America has created. I think this may be why Facebook is such a valuable tool to span the gap between their generation and mine. It allows me to peer into their world, without judgment, and acknowledge that they may have a point. But the moment we olders try to develop a little organization around their causes...they are out. And this is what drives my crowd nuts. We can't handle the chaos, the freedom of allowing other opinions, the tolerance and dissonance that actually defines their world. If I point out their inconsistent views, they simply shrug their shoulders and withdraw from the conversation.
So here is my simple solution. My generation needs to come to grips with the fact that the organizations we hold dear are dead already. We will keep them running for the time we are still here because we have the money to do so, but these kids are going to outlast us. They will grieve when are gone, but they will not feel compelled to sustain the organizations we hold so dear. My solution is spend whatever time I have left in helping them with the relational issues we all face. To help them understand that indeed the needs of the one, outweigh the needs of the many (scripture, by the way, please don't tell them) So while I still have a voice I will encourage them to be honest, to have fun, to cherish words like integrity, compassion, and perseverance. To love with abandon.
Godspeed to the kids on the block. I think you will make this a better place.
Don
Wednesday, May 6, 2015
Endarkment
We are taught from the time we are little that "darkness" is evil and "light" is good. It is the daily reminder that these two are opposed and opposite each other. Our society uses this in the public conversation through our movies, Darth Vader is dressed in black, Luke is in white. In the old westerns the bad guys wore black hats and the good guys white hats. Movies and television that deal with evil or trauma are referred to as "dark". We even have a genre known as "dark comedies". Pirates of old were "black-hearted" and even named Blackbeard. Do you remember at dusk your mother calling you for the night, from the creeping darkness to the light in the house. She was protecting us from the evil of the night. Even in our spiritual walk we view darkness as evil, several scriptures use the night or darkness as a metaphor for evil, as contrast to the light. It is inescapable, darkness is evil. Or so we have been told.
These thoughts have been rambling around in my head for a while, so forgive me if this comes out a little random. What has me stumped is the inevitability of the darkness for each of us. There is simply no escaping the "darkness". It could be circumstances beyond our control that has dimmed the light. There might have been poor decisions or poor responses that brought on the darkness. It might be the disillusionment of life that happens to us all. I wrote about this in a blog post "Living Plan B" July 21, 2009, but really I have sprinkled this idea all through my blog and shared it publicly. But the struggle to understand still needles me.
Perhaps the dissonance I feel can be found in our society's preoccupation with happiness and security versus the reality that happiness is elusive and security is a myth. This societal bent has placed a patina over our entire existence and left us dissatisfied. And the articulation of this dissatisfaction is frowned on. Our home and family should all be healthy and happy. Our church life should be "solar" as one writer put it, full of joy and peace and good will. Our workplace should be fulfilling and successful. So when there is something missing from the above, when I am not performing at the level that it seems everyone else is, then the darkness slides in and the great cover-up begins. Which only bangs open the door for the darkness to rush in with even more force. We run from this darkness because it reflects, at some deep level, our own failures to craft the life we envisioned from the beginning.
But there are a couple of things that make me pause and reflect on the "darkness". In the most elemental way, the Creator built our entire universe with each "day" half light and half dark. Could we stand to live in the light all the time? No. Would all darkness be the best? Also no. Each serves its own purpose. The light is for purpose and action. We keep moving and accomplishing in the light. But the dark is for rest and more importantly reflection. It is in the dark quiet moments that we can come face to face with the reality of our lives. It is in those moments when the Creator whispers his message.
Barbara Brown Taylor says, "While this darkness was only a poor cousin of araphel, it alerted me to a question that would preoccupy me for months to come: when we run from darkness, how much do we know about what we are running from? If we turn away from darkness on principle, doing everything we can to avoid because there is simply no telling what it contains, isn't there a chance that what we are running from is God?"
The other thing that gives me pause is on closer investigation of the old book, there are some comments and references that indicate that darkness or the emotions that are ascribed to it are not all bad. In fact a few of them have a pretty elevated place:
"Blessed are the poor in spirit.."
"Blessed are those who mourn.."
"Blessed are the meek.."
Even the man who manifested God was known as "a man of tears" Darkness was not a stranger to him, but was a moment to hear the whispers of illumination.
So while I struggle with the societal disdain of darkness and my own residency in that darkness, I have come to value the lessons learned during those moments. The other primary lesson for me was to give myself a break in the midst of those dark nights, to be unapologetic that discernment is not easy and is not cheap and does not come while in the midst of the sunshine, but in the dark and aloneness of the night.
Godspeed to those who have known more than their share of the dark, we should listen to you because the Creator has granted you a wisdom beyond the norm.
Don
These thoughts have been rambling around in my head for a while, so forgive me if this comes out a little random. What has me stumped is the inevitability of the darkness for each of us. There is simply no escaping the "darkness". It could be circumstances beyond our control that has dimmed the light. There might have been poor decisions or poor responses that brought on the darkness. It might be the disillusionment of life that happens to us all. I wrote about this in a blog post "Living Plan B" July 21, 2009, but really I have sprinkled this idea all through my blog and shared it publicly. But the struggle to understand still needles me.
Perhaps the dissonance I feel can be found in our society's preoccupation with happiness and security versus the reality that happiness is elusive and security is a myth. This societal bent has placed a patina over our entire existence and left us dissatisfied. And the articulation of this dissatisfaction is frowned on. Our home and family should all be healthy and happy. Our church life should be "solar" as one writer put it, full of joy and peace and good will. Our workplace should be fulfilling and successful. So when there is something missing from the above, when I am not performing at the level that it seems everyone else is, then the darkness slides in and the great cover-up begins. Which only bangs open the door for the darkness to rush in with even more force. We run from this darkness because it reflects, at some deep level, our own failures to craft the life we envisioned from the beginning.
But there are a couple of things that make me pause and reflect on the "darkness". In the most elemental way, the Creator built our entire universe with each "day" half light and half dark. Could we stand to live in the light all the time? No. Would all darkness be the best? Also no. Each serves its own purpose. The light is for purpose and action. We keep moving and accomplishing in the light. But the dark is for rest and more importantly reflection. It is in the dark quiet moments that we can come face to face with the reality of our lives. It is in those moments when the Creator whispers his message.
Barbara Brown Taylor says, "While this darkness was only a poor cousin of araphel, it alerted me to a question that would preoccupy me for months to come: when we run from darkness, how much do we know about what we are running from? If we turn away from darkness on principle, doing everything we can to avoid because there is simply no telling what it contains, isn't there a chance that what we are running from is God?"
The other thing that gives me pause is on closer investigation of the old book, there are some comments and references that indicate that darkness or the emotions that are ascribed to it are not all bad. In fact a few of them have a pretty elevated place:
"Blessed are the poor in spirit.."
"Blessed are those who mourn.."
"Blessed are the meek.."
Even the man who manifested God was known as "a man of tears" Darkness was not a stranger to him, but was a moment to hear the whispers of illumination.
So while I struggle with the societal disdain of darkness and my own residency in that darkness, I have come to value the lessons learned during those moments. The other primary lesson for me was to give myself a break in the midst of those dark nights, to be unapologetic that discernment is not easy and is not cheap and does not come while in the midst of the sunshine, but in the dark and aloneness of the night.
Godspeed to those who have known more than their share of the dark, we should listen to you because the Creator has granted you a wisdom beyond the norm.
Don
Tuesday, May 5, 2015
Snuggling With A Diva
This past Saturday morning dawned calm and clear and borderline cold. As is the usual routine I woke up before my bride and our oldest daughter who was here visiting and my oldest granddaughter. The coffee had percolated just right and I was scrunched up on the back porch rummaging around in Matthew in response to some new thoughts I had been having. My 10-year-old ACU sweatshirt and long flannel sleep pants were just able to keep the cold at bay. The morning disciplines were hitting just the right level of thought, questions, and a few insights that kept slipping in and out of my conscious, linear mind, refusing to be articulated. At this precise moment my 8-year-old granddaughter having beaten both her mother and her Nena out of bed came outside and promptly crawled up in my lap. No invitation, no question, no hesitancy. This left me scrambling to move my coffee out of the spill zone, power down my Kindle and make room for this new moment.
We spent the next 20 minutes or so looking at and identifying the various birds strafing our bird feeder, finding the helicopter that made its presence known with the familiar thup-thup-thup before we could see it, and talking about all things of concern for an 8-year-old. With the usual forethought she had only her sleep pants and sleeveless sleep shirt on, so she was relying on me and my old sweatshirt to keep her warm.
What was so compelling to me was the reminder of how it had been when she was little. Now her legs hang off one side and her head and arms stay close only because I wrangle them in from the other side of the chair. But she cozied up, squeezing her head onto my shoulder and neck and there we sat and visited.
You have to understand how special this was. This girl is not a shy, quiet, hesitant little thing. No, this girl is all drama. Singing and dancing and playing and all done with the volume turned all the way up. When she is happy, she is borderline hysterical. When this girl is sad, she is weepy. She has all the range of a teenager, she might be an emotional prodigy. They were in town to see "Newsies" which I am told is a musical. Since it was not a requirement that I go, it was up to her and her mother and her Nena to fill me in later. But she walks in from the musical with a newsies cap on, a t-shirt, and the CD playing in the car stereo with the volume just this side of a landing jet. Every portion of this girl's life is full volume and full speed ahead.
So when this cyclone known as my eldest granddaughter wanted to snuggle for a moment, I set aside my study, my thoughts, my disciplines for this one moment. I am at the stage in life where I don't know when I will go from beloved granddaddy to an old fogey they don't particularly want to be around. These moments get soaked up and stored away in the memory savings account.
By the time we got cold enough to come in, the parent and the grandmother were both up and making plans for breakfast. I never got back to my study, or my coffee, or my thoughts. Except to realize that our creator must have been okay with this trade. I think sometimes he would prefer we snuggle instead of study. I know from some darker moments that He is a snuggler of hearts.
Godspeed to you all who get a "Phoebe" moment, a moment to sit and visit and snuggle while the morning warms up.
Don
We spent the next 20 minutes or so looking at and identifying the various birds strafing our bird feeder, finding the helicopter that made its presence known with the familiar thup-thup-thup before we could see it, and talking about all things of concern for an 8-year-old. With the usual forethought she had only her sleep pants and sleeveless sleep shirt on, so she was relying on me and my old sweatshirt to keep her warm.
What was so compelling to me was the reminder of how it had been when she was little. Now her legs hang off one side and her head and arms stay close only because I wrangle them in from the other side of the chair. But she cozied up, squeezing her head onto my shoulder and neck and there we sat and visited.
You have to understand how special this was. This girl is not a shy, quiet, hesitant little thing. No, this girl is all drama. Singing and dancing and playing and all done with the volume turned all the way up. When she is happy, she is borderline hysterical. When this girl is sad, she is weepy. She has all the range of a teenager, she might be an emotional prodigy. They were in town to see "Newsies" which I am told is a musical. Since it was not a requirement that I go, it was up to her and her mother and her Nena to fill me in later. But she walks in from the musical with a newsies cap on, a t-shirt, and the CD playing in the car stereo with the volume just this side of a landing jet. Every portion of this girl's life is full volume and full speed ahead.
So when this cyclone known as my eldest granddaughter wanted to snuggle for a moment, I set aside my study, my thoughts, my disciplines for this one moment. I am at the stage in life where I don't know when I will go from beloved granddaddy to an old fogey they don't particularly want to be around. These moments get soaked up and stored away in the memory savings account.
By the time we got cold enough to come in, the parent and the grandmother were both up and making plans for breakfast. I never got back to my study, or my coffee, or my thoughts. Except to realize that our creator must have been okay with this trade. I think sometimes he would prefer we snuggle instead of study. I know from some darker moments that He is a snuggler of hearts.
Godspeed to you all who get a "Phoebe" moment, a moment to sit and visit and snuggle while the morning warms up.
Don
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)