Whenever I run, I feel like I look like Forest Gump running with the leg braces on. The only difference is that the leg braces never come flying off and I just churn away, making minimum progress. It is a highly inefficient and frustrating way for me to move from one place to another. (Although, I would like to point out that most runners end up at the starting spot..not much progress there) Cars and airplanes may be the greatest inventions ever, and pockets, and those little tubes in the toilet paper roll, and of course those great enamel juicers that you can do with one hand, and ratchets, and Velcro...but I digress.
My grandson ran in a 5K a month or so ago and encouraged me with his dedication. Of course this dedication was encouraged by his mother who had to threaten and cajole and beg and plead to keep him on track. But now he has the same parent strapping on shoes, along with my other daughter (only 4 months removed from the birth of her second child) and me. At the event, as we watched runners stagger by after the 1/2 marathon, my grandson said to me, " Grandaddy, will you run a 1/2 marathon with me?" Thankfully, the organizers won't let him run until he is 12, which means I get a 3 year reprieve. But in the spirit of getting ready, I have decided to run in a few 5K's to get ready.
My daughters are using a program called " From Couch to 5K"...I don't know what is wrong with their couches, there is nothing wrong with mine, particularly early in the morning. This ominous turn manifested itself in Amarillo a month ago when I was informed that I was in charge of keeping the babies while the women ran. This all seemed ironic to me because if they had been better at running maybe we wouldn't have had all these babies. Right? But like a tornado gathering dust in her skirts out the door they went, to return 35 minutes later, wind-blasted, and "glowing".
This morning I "street" ran for the first time in years. The extent of my exercise for the last several years is 30-40 minutes on an elliptical at a pretty good pace. It claims it to be 2.75 miles. Who knows? There are several reasons I like the gym workout. It is never raining, or foggy, or humid, or hot. I can watch TV while I sweat. There is no fear of a pitbull taking a chunk out of the back of my leg for breakfast. The texters rarely hit anyone in the gym, I guess it could happen, but it would take out the entire treadmill crowd first. Gyms are safer, cleaner, and better climate controlled.
But my baby girl wanted to run. So I ran. Not too many people in this world can get me back out on the concrete, but my girls can, and my grandkids, and any life threatening situation that might come up. I am not a runner. I am not built like a runner. You know, the slender, slightly hunched, bald guys. I am thick through the chest and legs. My ancestors were better at lifting things than running things down. But my girl needed the company, and I was concerned about her safety.
So off we went, Walk 5 minutes, run 5 minutes, walk 3, run 5, walk 3 run 5, walk 3. Not bad for the first time. Remembered why I hate the running thing. Knees and right hip are still sore, small of my back was sore for a bit. Wind and legs good, probably could run the entire time, but why increase the displeasure? Besides, I loved the visit with my daughter.
I read somewhere that a guy like me was explaining why he didn't run. He claimed it would cause a panic. You see some guys running with that well-balanced, earnest, jock expression and you know they are exercising. You see someone like me, you look behind me to see what is causing me to run. Then, seeing nothing, you pick up your stuff and decide, "What the heck, why take a chance? It could be nothing, but the guy is running." Then a few more people begin to hurry along and before long you have a stampede, wild-eyed people crushing everything and everyone in their path. I can't take the chance.
So I will run early with my daughters, maybe in a 5K or two, then if God decides to play a cosmic joke and leave me here until my grandson is 12, perhaps a 1/2 marathon..or as much as I can stand.
Godspeed to all the runners of the world. I will have to explain my theory of "finite energy" someday.
Don
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