Showers are Parties

Showers are parties for the softer side of human-kind. Showers for the ugly side are a quick way to get clean without sitting down. I will freely admit that I do not understand the allure of the female affinity for this event (the party shower, not the cleaning shower).

Oh, I get the need and willingness to gather stuff for the coming nuptials or the impending baby arrival. I just don't get the fervor around making it a party. Now there is the nuance of having "themes" for these showers. Hmm, isn't a baby theme enough?

So for days and weeks ahead of the shower a group of women gather and plan the event. Like the "elder" women conferring on the young mother-to-be not only the essentials like strollers and diaper bags and baby clothes, but the constant transmittal of knowledge through legend.
"My second one carried a lot lower and that seemed to be a boy/girl thing"
"You will know when it is time to go to the hospital because..." (frankly I quit listening, it was becoming much too graphic for my comfort level)
"Oh they let you stay for 48 hours instead of 24, like when mine were born"
On and on the legend and lore of baby birthing is transmitted from one generation to the next.

And the planning of the shower is almost as intense as the development of the baby. What kind of food, where it should be, what decorations need to be rounded up, who to invite. My eldest daughter stated early that she couldn't help all that much leading up to the event, but she wanted to be in charge. Guys would balk at this concept, the ladies all seemed to think this was a great idea. Sometimes I just have to shrug my shoulders and realize that I will never get it.

Then the actual day of the event and I am informed that my strong back would be needed to haul decorations/cake plates/desserts/gifts to the location. My opinions/views/remarks were not welcome AT ALL. So, like the whipped husband and father I am, I loaded boxes and unloaded boxes standing in the living room like a big dumb farm animal holding the box until I was told specifically where to set it down. Thank goodness my eldest daughter was there, she can make a quick decisions and there is no one to disagree. After all they put in her in charge.

I will tell you that we men have no interest in this event. The quickest way to get a man to shake in his shoes is tell him it is a "couples shower." We would rather have a doctor's exam than to endure these things. The food is marginal (rarely any meat) the conversation is so estrogen-filled that we can't hear it (like a dog whistle, we know from the reactions that something is being said, we just can't hear it) and our tolerance for all things pink is pretty low.

We made through though. My youngest is having some really early signs of labor, my son-in-law is a little stunned by the entire thing (The first time around was a C-section) I think he prefers the schedule. Lola's room is ready, though awfully pink. We are locked and loaded..

Godspeed out there to all the guys who have or will go through this right of passage. We have all done it. We just don't understand it.
Don