It seems over the past few years my bride and I have come across the friends we accumulated through the years. Facebook has reconnected us to high school friends and people we barely knew from high school. Circumstances have brought us together through college reunions and events that we knew from those formative college days, more years ago than I care to admit. One looked me up to ask for the phone number of another..should my feelings be hurt? Naw, he was like that in college. He wouldn't get it.
Let me say that we have all changed. For some reason the guys, though older, I can more easily recognize. Some of the women I couldn't pick out of a line up. By and large we have all gained a few pounds, we have all gotten grayer, our bodies have shifted. All of us carry scars from the battles fought in business, in church, in families, and in marriage. Some of the folks we knew as young couples are couples no more. Some have taken a mulligan in that arena and we recognize them even less. Most of us have kids that had kids, and the constant seems to be the worry over them all. There are constants that work for each one of us, death, loss, worry mingled and mixed with joy, contentment, and settlement.
This past week we were able to spend a few precious hours with some friends that we have known for years. My friend Don and I met when we were in about the 6th grade. Even though he moved away in high school, we kept up and remained good friends through college and all the years since then. When and he and Gay met, she blended right in with our crowd. So we had some time to sit and visit about all the circling constellations of our lives. Sitting on their deck overlooking the lake, drinking a really good cab and just connecting.
So how does this happen? How can we miss some really important years in each other's lives, then pick up like we had only missed them last weekend? Nothing had changed. The jokes were funny (cab talking?) We were able to open the locked closet of fear and anguish and let each other peek inside. We saw and I'm sure they saw the continued smoking cannons from our marriage wars. How can this be? There have been some desperate times in their marriage and in ours, yet the bond felt as close and tight as ever. Why do we blend some people even in face of absence, and can't make that bond with people we see everyday? I will tell you there is only a very small hand full of people who fit this category for me. Perhaps it is as simple as my inability to have and to hold close a great number of friends. We have some friends now in our lives that I feel is as close as my own biological family. If we were to be separated through life events, then reunite way down the road, it would only be a moment to reconnect. But these people are far fewer than you would imagine.
On the other hand, there are people that we were once close to that we can't seem to regarner the feeling. They have grown old and odd to us. They have strange pastimes and their kids have strange lives. I'm sure we look as strange to them as they do to us. Getting glimpses of the old high school friends has been an eye-opener. Reunion is next year and looking less and less likely.
Is this just me? I don't think so. For whatever reason we seem to connect to some people for the remainder of our lives. Perhaps it is a soul thing. Perhaps it is a training thing. Or maybe it is just the oddity of life that happens with no specific explanation. Maybe we will have adjoining rooms in heaven. Who knows?
Godspeed, this journey loops and cuts back on itself so we can see the beauty of a life spent with friends.
Don
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