A Look Ahead

Well the holidays have come and gone. My bride and I managed to stay sick during most of the open time. Fever and chills and mild nausea do not a merry Christmas or New Years make. But we managed to spend time with those most precious to us, hugged on kids, cuddled with grandkids, and visited with friends and extended family. So the holidays were good, I just wish we had felt better.

I am back at Panera's this morning, looking through facebook (a new task) answering emails (an old task) and once again blogging (a never-ending task) So what does the new year bring? It has to be more profitable than this last. I have only been unemployed for an extended time one other time, it is unpleasant for a variety of reasons, but the uncertainty is the biggest fear. However, the wisdom of the spiritual disciplines was affirmed, particularly the discipline of frugality. We managed to make 9 months on savings and a little help from our friends. It is always tempting to question why this is happening, but I have never received a really satisfying answer to the "why" question. My training has turned me more towards the "how" and "what" questions. So even the holidays were a nice respite, it is time to strap on the workboots and get going.

There are a few things I would like to have resolved this year. I don't like our current status of member-at-large" for spiritual home base. The local churches that we have occasioned have deeply disappointed us. But I yearn for a church home, a place where we can settle and be accepted. I'm wondering if a new start with a new group would be better. In the meantime I keep praying for a shift or change where we are, either in my head or the in the structure of the organism itself. We will see.

I would like to see my career status stabilize. I love to work, I love to build and plan, to strategize, to implement. 9 months of trying to find the next place beats down my spirit and makes me paranoid. The other night my bride woke me up as I was struggling with someone who was holding me from behind. I was striking back, she grabbed my arm and finally woke me up enough to end the dream. She was trying to avoid a black eye, I was fighting to break free. The struggle is more emotional than real, but it is none the less a struggle. Plus I hate having no money, it is the pits.

Travel is a part of what I do and I don't know if I miss the travel because of the places I go, or because it means I'm working. But I miss the entire deal, and am a little ashamed to admit it. The people are fascinating, the places are fun to experience, the challenge of getting from one place to another makes me tick. I still don't miss eating alone, but I will make that concession to get the rest of it. I have found that my body gets beat up when I travel a lot, so the discipline of working out becomes even more important.

So here's hoping that the new year brings a stability to the Jolly household. Here's to working.

Godspeed on the journey, occasionally the trail is a little uphill. We put our heads down and place one step in front of another.

Don