A Better Me

Just a few days ago I was reading an article and the author was reminiscing about her life and at the ripe old age of 39 she decided that she really liked her life. For a moment I stopped and reread the sentence, folded the article shut and leaned back and took inventory. Do I like my life?

First I ran through all the blessings that I thoroughly enjoy, my bride, my kids, my kids-in-laws, my grandkids. I like what I do for a living (although I would like to get back at it) I am settled spiritually, I am at peace with my world.

Secondly, I wondered if this were true of most folks? Does everyone hit this stage in life and find that, by and large, it has turned out better than we had dreamed of in our early days? I don't know. I find people who hit my age and are bitter and angry, stressed and spiteful. It seems that they can't seem to find a moment of quiet likability in their lives. So I wondered what everyone on the plane with me would say..

It occurred to me as well that we only get a chance to live our lives, not someone else's. We have a dear friend that I joke with and tell her it must be an adventure living inside her head. She comes up with the funniest stuff, and I cannot for life of me figure out how she got there. Of course they all give me a hard time about all the voices in my head, but by and large all the voices in my head all agree, or at least get along.

I think, though, there is part of us that will not let us settle. I don't know if it is the pounding we have taken over the years in church about what worthless sinners we are, or if it is a need to constantly look ahead. There was a guy that was raised in West Texas who said all he remembered from church growing up was, "Jesus loves you and you are going to hell." This tends to make us a little gun shy about feeling good about who we are. There is also the issue of always trying to peek over the next hill. I know that I have spent a great deal of my time living for the next stage and not really being "present" in this one. Finally at my age, I can stop and talk to my 7-year-old grandson and not be antsy that the adults are up to something significant. It is easy to waste time with that boy and feel that it was absolutely the best way to expend that portion of my life quotient.

Do I like my life? Yes, a quiet yes. It is better than I imagined it would be. The coming years are only bonus for what I have already received.

Godspeed out there, take a moment, enjoy the only life you were given.
Don