Yes, sports fans, the back "went out" as in "I threw my back out" Although there was no throwing. Apparently it is a common malady for guys my age. You would think that I would be ready for it. Every morning something feels like something is going out, knees, ankles, neck, you name it something always hurts. But I have never had much trouble with my lower back. I learned early that the better lesson is not lift-with-your-legs, but never to lift at all if possible. A lesson I ignored Saturday.
Friday was a great day. Church golf tournament, with me doing some of the coordination. Got everyone signed in, money collected, usual jokes about the bad golf about to be unleashed on the golf course. We had fun playing, not even close to winning. Prizes were awarded, hamburgers consumed, prayer circle at the end.
So Saturday was yard day. My bride went to Canton for First Monday, along with my youngest. I stayed home to mow, edge, weedeat, and replant some flowers into a big washtub. Mowing went great, weedeating was uneventful, edging always makes me think of my son. I use the edger I bought the year he was born..30 years ago. Like my truck, it doesn't owe me any money.
Then the replant. We had decided to put a layer of small rocks in the bottom of the flower pot, which come in 40 lb sacks. No problem hauling it out to the flowerbed. Got everything together, turned to pick up the rock sack and felt something in my lower back "pop." It was a the pop and the lock-down, think-this-over pain that got my attention. Never had this before, but it can't be good. Finished the job and sort of crab-walked back to the house.
Took a shower wincing at each bend and turn. Then got on the couch. You would think that would be the end of the story. But a good friend called and wanted to get in a late afternoon round of golf..both wives gone, 3 hours to kill. Sure! Why not?!
Let's just say this back thing tended to make my follow-through a little abbreviated. Or to put it another way, it hurt like mischief right at the end of the swing. So as the round progressed my body began to anticipate the pain at the end and just chose not to follow all the way through. I shot a smooth running 90, not good.
That evening we went to my youngest daughters house for my son's birthday. Evening went okay except that after dinner I stretched out on the floor. BIG mistake. Couldn't get up.
Sunday night we went to see "Wicked" at the Dallas Summer Musicals, my friends thought I was not impressed with the show. But it is hard to be appreciative with back spasms. Plus the 10-year-old girl occasionally kicking the back of my seat.Cool show, though. I would like to see it when the painometer is not red-lining.
Monday I had had enough. I broke down and called my chiropractor and he could see me that morning. These guys are interesting. Touch your toes, I assume he means without screaming loud enough to bother the room full of waiting patients. Now, turn left, turn right, touch your nose..oh wait, that's something else. I gave him my first opinion that it was muscular, not nerve. I'm sure he appreciated me offering my diagnosis, why spend all that time in school when some old coot can tell you what's wrong. He felt around and announced I had displaced, slightly, one of my vertebrae. So he adjusted my back. Here's how that fun works. Stretch out on your right side, bend the top leg over the straightened lower leg, turn your shoulders a quarter turn. Then he uses all his weight to try and snap you in half. Don't worry about the loud and pronounced snap in your spine. I love the encouragement to "relax" just before he twists you into a pretzel. Then turn over and do the same from the other side...not as much relaxation this time. A quick reassuring pat that the vertebrae is now where it belongs, but I will be sore for several more days. Then the "stim" treatment, which feels like bugs crawling under the skin and a cold pack.
I crept back to the truck and vowed that the d*** plants could replant themselves in the future.
Of course I have gotten a little sympathy from my bride, although the "Will you get a glass of water" routine is already running thin.
Godspeed out there. Here is my take...more golf, less yard work.
Don
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