This Will Hurt Me More Than You..Or Not

My posts rarely reference a work situation, mainly because I have no idea who reads this blog, and I don't want to create problems at work. With that said, there are situations that we have to deal with at work that reflect our approach to all the different threads in the fabric of our lives.

I had to let a guy go yesterday that I genuinely liked. He was not a particularly good seller, he had a lot going on in his life, and he still didn't get it. But it kills me to intentionally hurt someone. Oh, I can come up with all the rationalizations for the move, his performance affects a lot of people, he had plenty of warning, it was best for the company, blah, blah, blah. The end result is that a guy now has to deal with the big question of "how do I find another place to work in this sorry economy."

As I sat there and explained the rationale, all I could see was the stunned, hurt look on his face. The emotions ran from disbelief, to sadness, then to anger. The feeble attempt to defend himself, his numbers, his action or lack of action were all in vain. But in the end, he just got up and walked away. I felt like a heel.

There is a tendency to assign poor motives to the other person. To make him understand that it was his lack of knowledge, lack of ability, his laziness, whatever that led to this. But somewhere back in my past, it occurred to me that the moment of termination there lies a truism that as his boss I failed. My job in the purest sense is to maximize the talents of those around me, and in this case I didn't do that. It became easier to simply let him go than go through the arduous task of retraining him. I am jealous of those people who can assign blame outside themselves. At some level, this was my fault, along with his. But the suffering will be born by him alone.

So this morning I got up, spent a little extra time in my disciplines, prayed for someone who truly hates my guts at the moment, and ran to the nearest Panera for a bagel and coffee. The really sad part is that now I can move on, still employed, rested from my disciplines...with only a lingering regret. We are a truly perverse animal.

Godspeed. I think I better find someone to be nice to today
Don