I'm sorry....

Tuesday morning finds me waiting to board a flight to OK City to meet up with one of my new reps. We had a full day planned of visiting customers, talking about his territory, and my brainwashing him into my vision of sales. My flight was at 6:50AM, so I arrived and flew through security about 5AM. Plenty of time to get a coffee, a doughnut and check my emails. Big Problem, SW Airlines has cheaped out on us and doesn't do the free coffee and doughnuts anymore. So where is this growing boy going to find something to eat? Starbucks and MCDees are not open that early at Love Field, so I sat and grumbled along with my stomach. Stupid economy, a few doughnuts, really?
My boarding pass said A33. Not too bad, didn't do the $25 upgrade, but as it turned out it wouldn't have mattered. You see, there was a entire flight squadron of octogenarians from WWII, all from Ellis county headed to Baltimore, you guessed it, through OK City...my flight. About half were in wheelchairs and all boarded first, not a problem, I am as patriotic as the next guy and besides my dad would have been in this group had he lived in Ellis county. But SW Airlines decided to pre-board ALL of them, and their "care-takers" That means that my A33 was devalued to about B60. Now my stomach is grumbling at me, my head is grumbling at SW Airlines, and my patience is grumbling at Hitler for invading Poland.
So we got the 60 or so early boarders on, then the few suckers that bought the upgrade, then what was left of us. While edging down the aisle on the plane, I recognized one of the contingent headed for Baltimore. He had been an elder at the church where we attended for 25 years. He and I had always had a very well defined relationship, he represented all that I found intolerable about church leadership from his generation, and he found intolerable my lack of respect for tradition. Needless to say, we had had our differences over the years.
But I said "hi" and wished them all a good trip, and bumped my carry-ons to the back of the plane. I went through my routine of settling in, getting out the material to work on, making sure my cell-phone is off, strapping in, etc. When all of sudden, this former elder is leaning over into my seat and trying to get my attention.

"I just wanted to come back here and apologize for being rude that time. I've already apologized to Jim Miller (an associate minister at the church) and just wanted to make amends. My health was acting up."

As I struggled to get my head away from the sales history print-outs, I looked at him with what I am sure was pure puzzlement. I have no idea what he was talking about.

Now, there was plenty for him and I to apologize for to each other, but I had no specific event to conjure up. I could have said, "you should be, you were an old, crusty codger that no one particularly liked."
But I took the high road and said, " Forgotten (true) and Forgiven (also true, I guess, since I couldn't remember) He seemed pleased and marched back to his seat, mission accomplished. The guy in the seat next to mine was looking at me like, What the ...
I shrugged, I still have no idea what the elder was talking about. I have been far more deeply wounded by elders since this guy's term, but anther blog.

Here is what I took from that. Treat people right TODAY. Then you don't have to spend your fading years apologizing to some random punk on a plane about treating them poorly 20 years ago.
Better yet, there should be a statute-of-limitations on these grievances, say 10 years. After ten years the sentence gets commuted, we are all clear. I don't have to remember the event, nor do you.
So here is my suggestion, if you feel you have wronged me prior to 10 years ago, let it go. You need the forgiveness and the freedom to live in today, and I probably don't remember it. If I have transgressed on you prior to 10 years ago, I apologize and I probably don't remember it.

Now, don't we all feel better?

Godspeed, the journey is too good ahead to look back.
Don