Hospitals: Love 'em - Hate 'em

My bride and I had one of those moments on our anniversary night where we were in different places (she was driving home from the hops ital in her car and I was driving home in mine) We got home, she said, "Do you know what I was just thinking about?" And I said, "You were thinking the same thing as I was, that we have spent a lot of our hallmark moments in hospitals."
She said, "Yes, keeping vigil."
That word has resonated with me ever since. Keeping "vigil" is a primary parent function. And those vigil moments have been in hospitals all over Texas, from Dallas to Lubbock to Abilene. We are experts in hospital protocol.
So I have developed a list of observations about hospitals that I will share.

1. Hospitals are not designed to allow people any rest. People wandering around the hallways at all hours of the night, nurses coming in to take blood pressure, temp, jiggle the IV lines, turn on the lights, ask how you are doing. By the way, why do they ask how "we" are doing. Obviously she is doing better than the patient, she can come and go, she doesn't hurt, she can escape and get decent food, so half of us are doing fine, disproportionate to how lousy the other is doing. This very issue created the setting for my only real high-volume confrontation with someone I didn't know in the hallway of a hospital at 2AM, but that is another story for another time, but it is part of the Jolly lore.

2. Apparently, doctors and hospitals have a terrible time keeping a schedule. They are bright people, but something about that Dr complex thing makes them revert to 16-year-old girls and they begin to believe that the world spins on an axis that runs through their britches. Meanwhile, the family sits knotted up in concern over their loved one and agonize through the hours and days...waiting on someone to tell them what is going on. We waited for a day and half to find out when our new, little day-old grandson was going to have surgery. Really? Someone can't look at a Day-timer and tell us it ain't going to happen?!

3. Nurses either make or break the experience (sorry Docs) if the nurse is good, it is a great experience. I have watched all my kids face tough situations and have a good nurse make the experience bearable. On the other hand, a rude or pompous nurse can bring the blood to a boil in an instant. My newest S-i-L held his temper with enormous self-control, but I wondered how many rude health professionals each year get decked in the ICU.

4. There are some people who handle the entire vigil thing pretty well. The jolly clan tends to find moments of humor to help this along, but hospitals, by and large are dreary, cold places. Clean...but cold.

5. Whomever is responsible for designing furniture in hospitals has a mean streak. The chairs are monstrously uncomfortable, the "fold-outs" in the rooms for the loved ones keeping vigil are like sleeping on a poorly designed wooden pallet. The only place these folks could learn a thing or two is from the folks who design chairs at airports.

6 Finally, they are filled with sick people, everywhere you look someone is pushing one of those IV pumps up and down the floor. For the amount of money they will end up paying you should get a caddy.

I should be put on one of those committees that give input to hospital administration about making patient care better. I could share a thing or two.

Godspeed, stay out of those hospital zones.
Don