Carpe Diem

Seize the Day. This past weekend we were able to make it all the way to the prairie that my eldest daughter calls home. We will delivering a piece of furniture that had no place at our house and my son-in-law wishes had no place at theirs. We brought back a load of children's clothes to share with the other daughter and daughter-in-law. I spent the weekend trying to convince my son-in-law that it was a fair deal. He was not convinced.

Over the weekend I caught a little glimpse of times past as I watched my eldest grandson interact with his parents. This is a strong-willed child. He is sweet, contrary, focused, willful, active, competitive, smart, and he is standing on the cusp of being 10. What struck me about this weekend is that it reminded me that kids, boys in particular, go through stages where different people have different levels of influence on them.

I think that my daughter and s-i-l have structured much the same dynamics as most families. My daughter has done most of the lifting in discipline and care-giving and calling in the s-i-l when necessary. This seems to be a universal approach, at least it was when my bride and I were going through the on-the-job-training of raising kids. When all children are little, they want their mommas.

But I noticed the very beginnings of a shift. Getting the grandson to get up and get dressed is a formidable task. He wants to sleep or play or huddle by the fireplace (can't say I blame him on the last deal) and drags his feet doing what needs to be done. Breakfast was over, and his mom had gone to get dressed with the parting instructions to Eli to get up and get ready for church. He dawdled over his breakfast until his dad leaned over him and quietly said, "You've been told to get up and get dressed, get moving before you get in trouble."
And he moved. He doubled the time to get dressed, because he had to lie on the floor in front of the fireplace (have you tried to get dressed while prone? it does not look easy) But he got up and got dressed.

Here is my point (mostly to you dads out there) There is a moment from age 9 to 14 where the person with the most influence in the lives of these soon-to-be men are their daddies. We don't get a big window of opportunity. Before 9, they belong to their mothers, after 14 they listen to no one. But in that span while not little boys, and not hormonal, we as dads get to put our fingerprints on the men they will be.

This cannot be done heavy handed. It takes grace and patience, it takes living a life of example, it takes focus. I wish I could say I did all those things. My guess is that I hit a few and missed a lot. But the point is that in  that all too brief period of time, it is us dads who have the influence. We need to step up and exert the discipline, the guidance, the path that these old boys or young men take. No one else can do it. They want to become Dad. They will want to do what we do, backpack, run, golf, treatment of others, pray, study. It is in this moment that they will either learn to be strong, compassionate men, or they will learn to pursue their own desires, their own way...and they learn it from us.

And they will be judged as men on the strength of our training.

So dads, take the reins, teach your children well. Moms, help this work by supporting both the dads and the sons. Grandparents, use this moment to provide perspective. They all will need it.

Godspeed to the men who are dads and the sons who they will raise. Seize the day, seize the moment.It is gone all too soon.
Don

Thoughtful

There is a unique quality missing from the public discourse today. It is the lack of depth, the lack of thoughtful discernment. Today's discourse runs the course of denigration, combativeness, pettiness. I'm not sure when this started. But it seems to be getting worse.

A couple of weeks ago I began a book called Thomas Jefferson: the Art of Power by Jon Meachum. The book can be a bit tedious to read because it is filled with quotes from Jefferson's letters, notes, journals, and the language used is quite foreign to ours. It feels effusive, yet the thoughts and ideas are quite extraordinary.

One of the fascinating stories in the book is the presidential election when George Washington was leaving office and the election was heating up. According to this book, it was nothing like the elections today. Candidates did not "run" for office, but were nominated by groups or societies. These groups would function as the voice and advocate for the candidate. Whatever running platforms were published were done so via the newspapers and these advocacy groups. By the way, back then the electoral college would elect the top three candidates, with top two  being elected as the president and vice president, without regard to party. In this election for example, John  Adams (A Federalist) won and Thomas Jefferson (A Republican) came in second and was consequently the vice president. I find this a far better, and more fun, option than we have now.

Anyway, as Jefferson was being courted by various groups and individuals he was hesitant to respond. He was at the end of a 2 year hiatus from public service and was reluctant to leave Monticello for the "hurly-burly" of national politics. When a good friend named William Cocke was trying to tempt Jefferson out of political retirement, Jefferson responded with this insightful quote:
"For well I know that no man will ever bring out of office the reputation which carries him into it."

I wonder if our current leaders would understand the wisdom of these words and conduct themselves differently if they could internalize this truth. Perhaps the reason we have such shallow leadership today (and I am referring to all the parties involved) is that they spend so little time in reflection, so little time reading and studying the classics. Jefferson spent years under the tutelage of a pastor and a lawyer, he read voraciously about philosophy, law, history, the sciences. He was a student of politics in history and other nations. He strikes me as a thoughtful man. And this was at a time when the future of the nation was tenuous at best. Dangers lurked for this young nature both internal and external. Yet he found time to THINK about the higher thoughts, the higher callings.

Dallas Willard has said that we don't need smarter people, or busier people, but we need deeper people. All I can say is Amen, and Amen.

Godspeed to you out there who take the time to think, to meditate, to travel the lonelier paths.
Don

A Timely Message

There seems to be a lot going on in my world right now. Concerns about family and career and well, just my place in it all.
Then, when it seems that the Voice has grown silent, I read in my disciplines the following words:

May the Lord answer you when you are in distress;
may the name of the God of Jacob protect you.
May he send you help from the sanctuary
and grant you support from Zion.
May he remember all your sacrifices
and accept your burnt offerings.

May he give you the desires of your heart
and make all your plans succeed.
We will shout for joy when you are victorious
and will lift up our banners in the name of our God.
May the Lord grant all your requests.

Now I know that the Lord saves his anointed;
he answers him from his Holy heaven
with the saving power of his right hand.
Some trust in chariots and some in horses;
but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.
They are brought to their knees and fall,
But we rise up and stand firm.

O, Lord, save the king!
Answer us when we call!

Psalm 20: for the director of music; a psalm of David

It is my morning prayer that this song of David will speak into your life as it did mine.

Godspeed to the jouneyers out there. This is not a bad song to hum to ourselves.
Don