The three "r"s. This always confused me a little because it is really the "r", "w", and "a". of course you can switch the letters around to get a couple acronyms that might not convey the most positive message, raw, or war. However, both might best describe my time in the public school scene. That is not a time that I look back and reminisce over. I do remember fondly the non-school portion of my life then.
This spot has been a little neglected over the past several months. Ideas would come to me and soon be forgotten. Stories that make a showing in my mind get lost in the clutter of life and soon jettisoned. There are several drafts sitting on the site that will probably never be published. I wrote them then realized they were atrocious both in style and content.
The reasons can be numerous for stopping the blog posts. First and foremost after 300 or so it is quite possible I have run out of things to say. My bride and my kids will probably argue the point. Along with this point is the suspicion that not only does my writing have little value, but you out there in the big world have better things to do than read about my brain lint. This wouldn't surprise me at all.
There is also the chance that this phase in my life has taken a different turn. I wonder what has happened to me that the words no longer flow. 99% of the time I write a post at one sitting, running it through spell check (a nod to my bride) and try to make sure my fingers posted all the words my brain asked them to. It is not uncommon that production doesn't do what upper management asks, so I go over it once and make sure there are no incomplete sentences or thoughts not correctly stated.
But the primary reason I tend to run out of things to write about is because I have stopped reading. Ever since I was a little kid on a farm in west Texas I have found the world through books and stories. Words mean a lot to me. Numbers, not so much (sorry Sarah). The words of fiction writers took me to magical places, later the words of actual people, celebrities some, heroes and cons, saints and scoundrels all opened places in my head and in my soul for inspection. Reading gave me chance to try out ideas and philosophies that made me think differently, pushed my head in another direction, stretched my ability to absorb. Reading set me free. Then I began to write.
Writing has pushed the boundaries even further. Even as I type these words I have no idea how this little moment will end. But it will have pushed me to another place I have never been before. There are two kinds of people in this world, pioneers and settlers. Pioneers strike out and find new places and new horizons. Settlers come later and tame the very horizon that the pioneer first embraced. And in taming the horizon push the pioneers further out because the horizon has been irrevocably changed. However, as romantic as that sounds, pioneers also tend to take a lot arrows and in some cases (me for instance) can become skeptical of the entire notion. If we can regret the future, the greatest regret I can think of is to cross the final horizon into the great uncounting and not be able to write about it. This is a frustration for me because I should have plenty of time to write unless there is an agenda I am not aware of, which is entirely possible.
So I have started reading again. And reading stuff that matters. I blitzed through Learning to Walk in the Darkness by Barbara Brown Taylor, which opened me up to accepting the darker portions of my own journey. (Stick with me over the next several posts, you will probably get to endure some that reading) Biographies have always been a favorite, and it is hard not to like a really well crafted fictional story. I wish I had that sort of creativity. But I am learning to live with my jealousy.
With the reading I am finding my sense of humor has come back, my perspective has poked its head out a bit, and life seems to have a better flavor.
Godspeed to those who read, even this little shot every once in a while. I appreciate your patience and rely on your kind words.
Don
