Friday, May 23, 2014

A Social Experiment

We have entered into a social experiment. A month or so ago some dear friends of ours put their house on the market and it sold the first weekend. Since that moment they have been in a panic about the next nest, where to sleep and shower in the interim, and the normal spark of dealing with moving all their stuff.

My bride and I asked them to take the upstairs at our house. It is not being used, it is remote from the area where we live, and it is available. With some trepidation on the part of the bride in their equation, they accepted. I hugged them both at church the next time I saw and them and exclaimed how much fun this was going to be! She responded by saying they didn't feel like they had a lot of friends and didn't want to lose the ones they had. We assured her there was no way.

So we spent a weekend moving all their heavy stuff to storage. I told them both they were going to have to get younger friends the next time. I have discovered that my mind remembers being able to lift heavy things all day, but my body has settled into semi-retirement. My training in college for packing into a truck has not been lost, so I spent most of my time working the puzzle of filling every little nook and cranny on the truck to get as much as possible. Showed their s-I-l the "mover's" knot and generally had a good time. Associate ministers everywhere listen to me, if you want a dynamic men's ministry just make sure they sweat. It can be play or work, but when men sweat together they share and discuss and bond. Prayer meetings and weekend retreats don't work, but put a shovel or a ball in their hands and you have the groundwork for a long lasting ministry.

Another week afterwards this couple spent every night getting their small stuff in storage and finally moved in upstairs.

Here is what I discovered:
1. We all work, so the schedules are dictated by drive time, on time at work, and natural sleep patterns. We discovered that they apparently live on pacific time and we are eastern time zone folks.
My bride and I wake up at 4:30 to work out, they umm, do not. At 9:15PM my lights go out, both figuratively and literally. I'm done, cooked. I don't know what time is lights out for them, but I know they don't roll out at 4:30.
2. Meals for us during the week, particularly breakfast are catch-as-catch-can. I usually have a yogurt and coffee, not sure what anyone else has. Dinners are a bit tricky and has created the most communication. Who is going to be where is the constant theme. We have ended up with some interesting left-overs. But everyone seems to be getting enough nourishment.
3. It is kind of nice to have a visit in the late evenings. To realize we share some of the same communication issues and letting the unwinding work.
4. We do not share the same interests in TV programming. They are both musically and dramatically inclined and like the "English" shows. I like good humorous writing, don't care for much on TV right now, so normally I snooze on the couch while they compare programming notes with my bride.
5. I can't set the sprinkler system to avoid everyone's schedule, so I opted to get me a little damp, keep my bride dry, and hope they can run the gauntlet to their cars. Sorry, I have priorities. Happy wife, happy life.
6. It seems to be working. I'm sure they aren't creating any stress for my bride that I don't already create. They sure aren't creating any stress for me. Not sure how the whispered conversations are going upstairs, but really how bad could it be?

It is an experiment that is going well. Not sure why there was any trepidation. We are all adults, we all enjoy a lot of the same things, we all want the same things. And at the end of the day, isn't this what our professed faith is all about? helping, getting along, sharing, making a spot? My only regret is that I seem far more hesitant to do something like this on a more frequent basis. These are good, solid, hard-working, funny people, which makes this easy. But what is it in my nature that still runs those who need something through a filter? I remember having these same questions when we worked to renovate and furnish 40 apartments for refugees from New Orleans after Katrina. I learned to ignore the filter, but it seems somewhere along the line it seems to slip into place again. We feel that our charity should have criteria, when in reality it should be just a small portion of the charity needed in this world, without the impediment of my filtration system.

Godspeed to the displaced, and for our little set of displaced, Clark and Rebecca, you are far from wearing out your welcome.
Don